The premieres of Wilfred, Burn Notice, and Futurama

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What to watch on Thursday, June 23.

Well it had to happen: High-quality television has started to sneak back into our living rooms. I won't say WHICH of the following shows I'm talking about, but you have your own eyeballs and brains right? (Please say yes, I'm in no mood for nightmares). Check out tonight's lineup:

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, ABC
Expedition Impossible
It's like Survivor, but with more adventure and less b.o.! Dave Salmoni hosts this new offering from Mark Burnett in which teams of three must compete against each other in grueling missions, the ultimate winners each receiving $50,000 and an SUV.

MIDSEASON PREMIERE, 10 & 10:30pm, Comedy Central
Futurama
In the first of two NEW episodes of Futurama (yay!) the crew meets an alien who can alter its gender identity, and in the second episode Bender discovers how to clone himself. It's a robopocalypse of laughs!

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, USA
Suits
When a successful lawyer hires a brilliant college dropout as his new associate even though the dude doesn't have a license, legal degree, or education, all his suspicious co-workers are like, "That is a plausible premise for a TV show!" In tonight's premiere, see how easy it is for two handsome men to trick everybody.

SEASON 5 PREMIERE, 9pm, USA
Burn Notice
I wish more people on this show would say something really insulting to someone else and then go, "You just got put on BURN notice!" Don't you think that is something more of these characters should do? Oh well, in tonight's Season 5 premiere, Michael and his group head to Venezuela to track some bad guys. I hope they don't get a sun BURN! Notice.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10:30pm, FX
Louie
This is a great show. Ding-dong, case dismissed. Tonight Louie learns some unexpected news from his sister, but considering that the episode is titled "Pregnant," maybe he shouldn't be so surprised? Just look at your TV listings, guy!

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, FX
Wilfred
Here's an American remake of a foreign show that actually looks pretty good! Elijah Wood stars as Ryan, a troubled yuppie hipster who hates his life and agrees to dog-sit for his attractive neighbor. Fortunately or unfortunately, where everyone else sees a normal dog, Ryan sees a dude in a dog suit. Uh-oh, somebody's brain is broken.


PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...

So You Think You Can Dance, 8 p.m., Fox
Wipeout, 8 p.m., ABC
4th & Forever
, 9 p.m., Current
First 48, 9 & 10 p.m., A&E;
Police Women of Broward County, 9 p.m., TLC
Love Bites, 10 p.m., NBC
Mounted in Alaska, 10 p.m., History
Nightmare Next Door, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
NY Ink, 10 p.m., TLC
Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo
Rookie Blue, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., ABC
Swords: Life on the Line, 10 p.m., Discovery
True Life, 10 & 11 p.m., MTV
Childrens Hospital, 12 a.m., Cartoon Network

LATE-NITE PICKS:

Adam Carolla on Watch What Happens: Live, 11 p.m., Bravo
Gabourey Sidibe on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Jason Segel & Noah and the Whale on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Jon Benjamin & Selena Gomez on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Justin Timberlake & The Antlers on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Nick Kroll & My Morning Jacket on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Rosario Dawson & Jill Scott on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC


What are you watching tonight?

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