The Royal Wedding: Do You Care?

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Late last month, NBC laid out their plans for England’s upcoming royal wedding, which was theirs exclusively for broadcast in the U.S. The sheer breadth of their coverage was dizzying -- the kind one typically associates more with a Summer Olympics than the legal hitching of two mortals who’ve been happily living in sin for a decade.

Over 20 hours of programming were scheduled in all, to be hosted by an army of twelve anchors and scattered across several of NBC’s properties -- we’re talking NBC News, MSNBC, Access Hollywood, Bravo, E!, iVillage, Telemundo and The Weather Channel. It was to become the escapist fantasy event for our economically downtrodden times. But there are rumors now that NBC's ambitious plans have changed.

Perhaps they got cold feet after seeing how ABC’s 20/20 special, William & Catherine: A Modern Fairy Tale, disappointed in the ratings last night. Whatever the case, the phrase being tossed around in the gossip pages today is that Prince William and his Princess-to-be Kate Middleton are “too boring” (boring here meaning “not locked in a doomed, loveless marriage sure to end in tragedy”), and therefore not worthy of occupying that much schedule real estate. So forget about sitting down with a bag of microwave popcorn for Ann Curry’s Dateline Live: The Royal Deflowering!, or going to Bravo’s website to check out the Watch What Happens FlowerGirl Cam™. Painful cuts had to be made.

NBC has vigorously denied the scheduling changes, and reassured viewers that they have “the most aggressive and comprehensive coverage of the royal wedding” available. Does that comfort you at all? Or are you skeptical that the network is truly committed to seeing through with their wall-to-wall royal wedding coverage? Or is there perhaps a third possibility: that you could give a Corgi’s ass about about the marriage of two people you don’t know and will never meet, and just want to know what time the basketball game comes on? Our lines are open!

Do you care about the Royal Wedding? Please, be brutally honest.

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