As we barrel toward Halloween, your favorite cable channels continue to unveil their spookiest horror gems. So set your DVR's, clear your schedules, and make sure to notarize your last will and testament because the following movies may just scare you TO DEATH.
Note: I've made an effort to list HD broadcasts, because it's 2010 and you deserve it. Check local listings to confirm Standard Def airtimes.
Evil Dead 2
Tonight at 9:00pm on IFC HD
Things get awkward for two young couples trying to have a peaceful log cabin vacation. This Sam Raimi-directed classic is basically the Citizen Kane
of nerd-horror movies. By the way, you can feel free to skip the first Evil Dead
… it's fine, but this is basically a bigger-budget, funnier, and generally better remake of that.
Tonight at 8:00pm and Wednesday, October 13 at 5:00pm on FX HD
Remember that big J-horror trend from a decade ago? Here's an American remake that had the audacity to come out YEARS after the fad was over. But Fringe
's Joshua Jackson
is in it, so it's got that.
Wednesday, October 13 at 1:30pm on SyFy HD
Jeff Daniels stars in this surprisingly well-done treatise on why the rain forests should be burned to the ground immediately.
Wednesday, October 13 at 9:00pm on IFC HD
Dreamy Josh Duhamel
's Olivia Wilde
star in this surprisingly well-done treatise on why the rain forests should be burned to the ground immediately.
Thursday, October 14 at 9:00pm on IFC HD
This is not the best horror franchise ever, but it's worth revisiting the film that started it off. The creepy low-budget sets and surprisingly strong cast (Danny Glover
!) made for a film that was better than it had any right to be. Too bad all the awful sequels have systematically reversed that first impression.
Friday, October 15 at 9:00pm on IFC HD
This Kathryn Bigelow-directed vampire film was made back in the olden days when vampires were scary.
Friday, October 15 at 7:30pm and 11:30pm on AMC HD
Don't be a hater: This movie's opening scene is one of the best horror openings ever. Yeah, it's all downhill from there, but at least it's a fun ride.
Friday, October 15 at 9:30pm on AMC HD
Do you remember this movie? A space virus from hell infects an ocean vessel, incorporates the body parts of corpses, and then fires a shotgun at Jamie Lee Curtis
. It's truly nuts.
Saturday, October 15 at 12:00am on SyFy HD
A contemporary indie spin on The Bad Seed
, this is also one of the few decent horror movies on SyFy this week. Sure, SyFy is broadcasting plenty of other horror films this week, but it's like they're trying to outdo the Chiller network when it comes to airing awful, unwatchable crap. "Tricks not treats. Happy early Halloween!"—SyFy
Saturday, October 16 at 12:45am on IFC HD
For a long time I thought I'd dreamt up this movie, like it was the product of a terrible childhood fever dream. But it turns out I didn't dream it up! It's real, and it's mind-numbingly bizarre. When a portal to hell suddenly opens in a kid's back yard—right around the time his parents take off on vacation—really disturbing things start happening. The claymation is dicey and the acting is laughable, but the movie still gets it done. This is one to appreciate, at least until the inevitable Platinum Dunes
remake ruins everything special about it.
And finally, Turner Classic Movies is continuing its Friday-night classic Hammer horror marathons. This week: MUMMIES!!!
Friday, October 15 at 5:00pm on TCM
Archaeologists are stalked by a 3,000-year-old monstrosity and it's still telling Macarena jokes and saying "don't go there."
The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb
Friday, October 15 at 6:45pm on TCM
Some guy tries to transport a certain sarcophagus to London... with terribly unsexy results.
The Mummy's Shroud
Friday, October 15 at 8:15pm on TCM
Everyone, seriously, please stay out of these tombs. They're nothing but trouble, I'm telling you.
Blood From the Mummy's Tomb
Friday, October 15 at 10:00pm on TCM
You know what? If you insist on messing with a mummy's tomb, then the crime IS the punishment. I don't know how many ways I can warn you about the dangers here. You're clearly dead-set on becoming the object of pursuit for a relentless reanimated corpse, but I guess that's your right. It's a free country, y'know?
Happy haunting, ya'll!