The Second Annual TV.com Bowlie Awards for Excellence in Super Bowl Mega-Shilling

The Giants did it! They ruined Tom Brady’s year. (Sorry, Tom. Hopefully Giselle can make it all better.) Did you enjoy the big game? How ‘bout that Madonna, hey? Like how skinny did she look next to Cee Lo? She’s no dummy. Anyway, I’m still drunk, but duty calls: Welcome to the Second Annual TV.com Bowlies, awarded for noteworthy achievement in Super Bowl mega-shilling.



Most Disturbing Incorporation of a Falsetto-Singing Vestigial Twin

Cars.com. Hands down.



Best Reason Never to Eat M&Ms;, Ever

This ad, in which an anthropomorphized chocolate candy complained about her flesh-colored coating. It could be worse, I guess. She could have been a California Raisin.



Best Answer to the Question, “Whatever Happened to That Band ‘The Darkness’?”

Which, I kid you not, I asked a friend only last week. (To answer it, they’re shilling for Samsung. Hey—you try making a living as a glam rock band in the current economic climate.)



Best Answer to the Question, “Whatever Happened to That Band ‘The Cult’?”

They guided us through a visual history of the last 80 years of watery-beer-guzzling. Sadly, some rapper came along to ruin the ride. Enjoy the residuals, guys! We missed you.



Best Upstaging of Jerry Seinfeld by the Dancing Dwarf From Twin Peaks

This Acura ad. Honestly, Jerry. You should be ashamed of yourself.


Come to think of it, could you move aside? Thanks.



Best Objectification of a Male Athlete

David Beckham underwear for H&M.; Wisely, he kept his mouth shut.



Most Contradictory Message

Poor Weego.



Best Pee Stimulus

The folks at TaxAct.com can be proud tonight knowing they sent millions of Americans scrambling to the bathroom, and thousands more less-fortunate Americans scrambling to the bedroom to change their underwear.



Best Pee Stimulus (Runner-Up)

Howard Stern with a hose, teasing his upcoming turn on America’s Got Talent.



Best Commercial Featuring John Stamos, Yogurt Seduction and a Concussion

Oikos Yogurt from Dannon. Rejoice, Greece! You have reasons to be proud again.



Best Gran Torino Sequel

Clint Eastwood for Chrysler.



Creepiest Night-Stalking Dwarf Pedophile

Kia’s “Mr. Sandman,” who sprinkles glitter over his victims before climbing into bed to defile them.



Worst Use of Huskies

Suzuki’s Eskimo-themed Kizashi spot, which featured sled dogs bopping their heads to 50 Cent.



Best Twinkies Commercial

This post-apocalyptic, Ford-bashing ad for the Chevy Silverado.



Which Super Bowl commercials were your favorites this year? Let us know in the comments!


RELATED STORIES:

How Big Is the Super Bowl? (INFOGRAPHIC)

The Rest of This Year's Super Bowl Ads Better Try Harder Than These Two (VIDEO)

Presenting the First Annual TV.com Bowlie Awards for Excellence in Super Bowl Mega-Shilling

Comments (31)
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I loved the Seinfeld commercial until Leno ruined it.
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The Hunger Games trailer.
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The Matthew Broderick Honda CRV commercial was AWESOME (loved the Ferris Bueller references) and the 30 Rock Pizza Hut commercial.
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Seinfeld commercial sucked, mostly because Leno was in it.
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the seinfeld commercial was good. even though i still think jerry seinfeld is the unfunniest person ever and seinfeld is the worst show ever
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I can kind of understand not liking Jerry himself... but saying Seinfeld is the worst show ever?! Is that, like, a hipster thing? Only liking things sarcastically... not liking anything good...
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Unfunniest person ever??? Are us serious? Seinfeld is one of the best shows ever because of him (and kramer, Gearge)
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Nothing for the Camaro "Graduation" ad? I laughed.



Cars.com was just a super-yucko one, and ripped a concept from Men in Black 2, which itself was awful. BUT! The guy reluctantly mouthing the "woo" at the end had me in stitches, almost redeemed the whole thing (if it had been a 15-seconder with that at the end, I would have been all-in).



I liked the M&Ms ad, the Janeane Garofalo-styled Ms Brown and good ol' stupid Red, who is voiced by Philip J Fry himself, Billy West. And they totally got into the meme they were using, instead of half-assing it like most others would.



The Samsung ad I guess wasn't too bad, took the gimmick they already ran into the dirt and owned it with a big over-the-top showing. That said, nobody on the face of the earth is impressed by a stylus for a touchscreen, a technology that wasn't impressive 15 years ago on the Palm Pilot.



You nailed it with that Budwiser call-out, that was the worst, and honestly, audiences need to figure out when a hip-hop "artist" takes someone else's song and dumps their own vocals over it that they are merely stealing, not being remotely creative.



TV.com, you have outdone yourself ID'ing the dwarf from Twin Peaks in that costume, well done! I actually liked the Seinfeld ad even though it was a bit cheeseball, and the car looked good in the 2 seconds they showed it.



Weego being a contradictory message, another great call-out! "Let's turn this dog we just rescued into our slave, ah ha ha! - save dogs."



Clint scared me something awful. Did they use a gravel-filter on his already gravely voice? Also, if it's halftime in America, does that mean nothing's been happening for the past 10 years and another 20 to come?



I don't think that Suzuki ad actually aired, I definitely don't remember it.
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I really liked the M&M's one. Vanessa voiced it perfectly, too.
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matthew broderick's day off takes the cake for me!
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Chevy and M&M commercials were definitely the best.
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the doritos commercial with the dog trying to cover up for killing the cat. hilarious.
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Just so everyone knows, Falsetto-singing vestigial twin and the man he springs from were played by the hilarious principal from Aliens in America! He's awesome.
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Love loved the Chevy - Mayan Apocalypse commercial.

It cracked me up
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M&M's one was the best, short and funny!
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Oh...and can't forget the Audi Vampire one...priceless!
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I didn't see the commercials until this morning (I avoid the Stupid Bowl at all cost), but I saw most of them. I loved the exercising dog (VW), M&Ms, Sandman (Kia), and - oddly enough - the Ford Apocalypse one. I didn't care for E-trade baby, Go Daddy (*yawn*) and the Coca-Cola polar bears. I was just glad that there weren't any blatantly offensive commercials that I saw for a change (although the Doritos dog one came close - I hate generalizing stereotypes: women dig cats, men dig dogs). The OTHER Doritos commercial was better (old lady & baby against little brat).
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Best one was clearly NBC's "Brotherhood of Man". Outstanding.
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As for the commercials, the Doritos one with the dog was my favorite.
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John Stamos yogurt commercial was best, he is sooooo fricken hot hot hot!!!

boy peeing in the pool was hilarious!

I loved the m&m's one, really made me laugh out loud!
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The KIA: Mr. Sandman commercial was kind of cool.



The Audi: Vampires commercial would have been fun if I didn't personally hate those damn LED headlights.



My favorite was probably the Doritos: Cat Killing commercial. Yeah, yeah, boo hoo for the cats. But it was still probably the funniest.
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I have a bumper sticker: CAT, The Other White Meat. I agree loved the Doritos & Audi ads.
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I honestly wasn't all that interested enough in the ads this year to bother with them. And YouTube tends to have them all, if one doesn't get tired of seeing them aired throughout the year.
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I loved the Doritos commercials! They were funny and original, feline-snuffing aside. THe yogurt commercial with John Stamos was great, Clint Eastwood for Detroit was great. I think my favorite was the VW commercial. To go from a chubby dog working out, to the Cantina scene on Mos Eisley where Vader chokes the guy about the Vader kid... so brilliant!
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The Super Bowl was great this year! And the halftime show wasn't bad either.
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love the awards - the ads were appalling - i can't believe how much companies paid for the slots and then produced these - Don Draper would be embarrassed.



did love the Chevy ad where they bashed Ford & Advertised Twinkies all at the same time but that's all you would have needed from that!
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The only thing I didn't like about the Acura (Jerry Seinfeld) ad was that Leno was in it. Also, the Bud Light commercial is so stupid. Then they go on to have "Rescue Dog" displayed. My gosh. The Howard Stern AGT ad was not even funny. I liked the Yogurt (John Stamos) commercial.
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The thing I didn't like about the Acura commercial WAS Jerry Seinfeld. Stay retired!
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The one with John Stamos was hilarious!
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My favorite was the one during the pregame, where the guy tries to lose weight by hiring popular middle school girls to follow him around and say jaded things to keep him from eating junk food.
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The only commercial I liked was the Galaxy Note one because of The Darkness. rest just sucked... funny awards though.
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