The Snooki Book Titles We'll Never Get to See

Nicole Polizzi was denied a trademark for her own name the other day. Of course, the story becomes more ridiculous when you know the name was Snooki, and that she was denied because there's already a Snooky. And the trademark was for use in books. Children's books. Thus the story of the Jersey Shore's resident smart girl takes an odd turn: Snooki was looking to enter the world of literature?

No more, I suppose. Sad, really, because she definitely could have left her mark. Here are some Snooki-centric books I really would have liked to see:

The Girl With The Dragon Tramp Stamp
Plot synopsis: Snooki is a young private investigator solving the mystery of what bar she went to last night after that other bar, but before that really crowded one.

Snooki St. Cloud
Plot synopsis: Snooki's decency has died, but she plays catch with its ghost anyways.

Snooki Snooki Bang Bang
Plot synopsis: Friday night.

The Big Short
Plot synopsis: Just kidding. Snooki would never have a line of credit.

The Secret
Plot synopsis: Snooki is untalented and unworthy of our attention. Shhh!

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