Hollywood has one objective: to rape your wallet. One of its favorite ways to do this is by putting out shlock disguised as kids' movies, forcing children to throw tantrums until their parents drop cash on movie tickets and overpriced concessions for an hour and a half to avoid the screaming and crying.
The next movie that's sure to be the bane of parents everywhere is The Smurfs, a live-action computer-graphic famine-for-the-eyes hybrid due out on August 3, and Sony Pictures has just released the first full trailer for the movie. It features Smurfette getting Monroe'd, innuendo about pubic hair, and the word "smurf" used 10 times. Over/Under on how many times the word "smurf" is used in the film? I'll set the line at 100 million. I hope Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, and Hank Azaria got paid a fortune for this.
I was never a fan of The Smurfs cartoon, but my heart goes out to those of you who grew up with the show. Hey, at least it's better than what Michael Bay did to The Transformers!
Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom