The Vampire Diaries: Birth of a Villain

Hey guys, last night was our last episode of The Vampire Diaries until December! Bummer, right? What are we going to do with ourselves—read? Ugh.

Unfortunately this week's installment was yet another one of those flashback-heavy episodes where people mostly just sit around talking. In the first recap I did, I complained that this show can get super boring all of a sudden—and except for a handful of cool things, yeah, this was a boring episode. Hey, it's true! Don't shoot the messenger. (Actually, just don't shoot people in general.)

Don't get me wrong, this episode wasn't as boring as that one from last month where there were a bunch of fancy flashbacks about Katherine's alliance with the Lockwood family, but maybe after three awesome episodes in a row, this one felt like a letdown.

Last week we left off with the revelation that both Elena and Katherine are doppelgangers of an even EARLIER Petrova lady. Do you think we're gonna meet her? What even happened to her? Will Nina Dobrev get a third, even better character to play? Nope. There's still more Katherine backstory to explain, silly...

We started with a flashback… Bulgaria, 1490. That was way back in the day. Just to give you some historical perspective, this was back when people believed water was a demon and then died of old age at 12.

Katherine's a mama, y'all!! Oops, I mean Katerina. Her name was Katerina back then, and also she and her family spoke some a weird nonsense language where they basically just cleared their throats over subtitles. Russian, maybe? I don't know, I don't get out much.

But it's a girl! Or is it? Who can tell, it's blurry as F.

Anyway, Katerina's stoked because like most teens she just wants a baby to play with, but her dad is a total buzzkill. He snatches up her baby and runs out of the room. Dads, am I right? Anyway, because this is a show about monsters, I figured he took the baby because it's a demon or Dren or something. But nope, he just took it because he doesn't want the village to know his daughter was a tramp. Sorry Katerina! The worst part is, that baby ends up being Elena's ancestor. I was like, "Quick! Someone throw it in the river!"

Super sad, though. Kinda bummed for Katherine.

But there's no time to be sad for fictional vampiresses! It's a new morning in Mystic Falls! First things first: Elena swung by Damon and Stefan's underlit mansion. Because totally. If I were nearly murdered every day for a week, I'd definitely keep hanging out with these guys. Just kidding, Elena needs new friends. Just kidding, I wouldn't wish her on anybody, she'll turn your face crooked. Hey, where's Bonnie?

'Sup Rose? Rose was just hanging out. It's always a little awkward when you go to your boyfriend's house and he's chillin' with the lady who abducted you and tried to give you to Dracula the day before.

So then there was this super long scene where everyone sat around talking about Klaus. Elena just sat on the couch asking super obvious questions with this look on her face like she smelled a fart. Longest scene ever...

And we really didn't even learn that much about Klaus. He's like an evil version of Santa Claus, I guess?

Stefan, who is a professional vampire, was all weirdly skeptical of the entire story.

Rose just sort of looked at him like, "Are you kidding me?" <3 Rose.

Over at school Bonnie was walking around the parking lot being a total klutz. Oh, Bonnie! Typical Bonnie.

Oh, here's Jeremy! So wait, wasn't he a goth-emo-stoner dude last year? He totally turned into a bro this season. He looked like he was gonna go hassle some nerds any minute. But! Jeremy finally asked out Bonnie to make their flirtations legit, and she tried to say no but I guess was too horny and immediately accepted? Who can blame her, he looks like Steve McQueen! So they are a thing now. Let's call them Boremy!

Then some new character showed up and was like, "I am a guest star for at least two, but no more than four episodes." He's a light-complexioned African American individual so I WONDER IF HE IS A WITCH. He is not a woman, but he definitely fits the other two criteria for being a witch. Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions.

Anyway, after he showed up Bonnie was definitely tingling SOMEWHERE.

Elena and Caroline ditched school (LOL school) and headed out to the tomb. Elena was LUGGING this bag like it was the heaviest thing on earth, but you know what was inside? A book and a plastic bottle. Yikes, Elena. You know what would help you lift that up? Carbs.

Caroline knows what I'm talking about. That styrofoam looked hella heavy and she just tossed it aside, NBD. (No big deal).

Katherine's back, you guys! Who would've guessed? She'd only been in that tomb for what, two days? Whatever, she was looking BEAT.

So this is how the flashbacks worked… Elena would give Katherine a dixie cup full of human blood in exchange for answers about her past. Is it rude of me to ask where a teenage girl got a plastic bottle full of human blood? That's probably rude, right? It's not my business, I guess.

Ugh, the flashbacks. So here's the gist: After her baby was taken away, Katerina was banished to England—where she hooked up with Klaus and started talking like Madonna. Then, when she found out about Klaus' Petrova-Doppelganger-sacrifice plan, she bolted. Understandable!

One thing that was clear is that apparently the doppelganger curse is witch-related. Aztecan witches created the curse that binds vampires to nighttime and werewolves to the moon, but then other witches created the Petrova doppelgangers so that vampires or werewolves may break the curse and trap the opposing team in the curse forever. Or something? Either way, it's clear that witches were awesome once? Now it's been thousands of years since witches have been even remotely interesting.

Anyway! Rose's now-decapitated boyfriend Trevor helped Katerina elude Klaus' henchmen (Was Trevor the baby-daddy? He mentioned being in love with her... or did I imagine that?) and she showed up at some cabin.

Rose was NOT cool with Katerina crashing there, so she locked her in the bedroom and paged Klaus 911.

Meanwhile, in modern times, Damon and Rose took a road trip to a coffee shop with special windows so that Rose wouldn't get burned (not all vampires have witch jewelry makers, I guess).

There they met a nerdy vampire who's been in college for two hundred years. Ugh, figures. An immortal scruffy student. You know when you are at a coffee shop and all the chairs are taken by students and it feels like they've been there forever? Guess what, maybe they HAVE been there forever. Not sure what this guy's name was, don't care. But he was the show's most perfect example of walking exposition yet. An immortal vampire who does nothing but study things and gossip about other vampires.

Back at RenFair, Katerina tricked Rose into giving her vampire blood, and then, like a very sneaky rabbit, effing HANGED HERSELF. It was a little bit clever, because by becoming a vampire, her blood was useless to Klaus. One thing Katerina overlooked, though, was that Klaus would still chase her all over the globe, forever. Whoops.

There was a neat moment where Katherine offered to turn Elena into a vampire and it seemed like she actually considered it.

But then of course Elena just shook her head like, "I REFUSE to be interesting."

Oh yeah, at one point Rose tried to stake Katerina and Katerina just used some old lady as a human shield and then drank her blood. So basically after becoming a vampire, Katherina wasted no time becoming a real pain in the neck. (Pun.)

Vampires like salad.

Ugh, there was this huge long subplot of Caroline and Stefan hanging out and doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he was trying to figure out where Elena was and Caroline wouldn't tell? I don't know. So boring.

So at that same grill restaurant, Bonnie ran into the new student plus his dad and they were from Louisiana, so I totally had my fingers crossed that we were about to get a voodoo subplot. But then the dad started laying it on thick about Bonnie's ancestors in Salem. Haha!

All right, So. The Vampire Diaries has some very interesting racial politics, don't you think? I know the LAST time I mentioned this, commenters accused ME of being a racist. But fine, having all the witches be African-American is definitely not weird. And having them all perform servitude to rich Southern white people—DEFINITELY not questionable. Fine, I am the racist for pointing this out.

But my question is, why do all the African-American actors have such light complexions? Do you think it has anything to do with the lighting on this show? Think about it.

Also look at how Bonnie eye-humps this new guy:

Poor Jeremy!

Except look at Jeremy's bro face. Gross. Forget Jeremy!

Bonnie is terrible at pool. I guess there are no spells for that. By the way, is this not the weirdest restaurant ever? Where dudes can eat a late lunch with their dad, vampires can grab a salad, and awkward love triangles develop over pool tables? Someone should franchise this joint! It'll be the coolest diner since Rachel's Place on Family Matters. (Uncool.)

Elsewhere, Elena was standing around the tomb looking like an A-hole. She was throwing 'tude at Katherine like, "You did all these terrible things so you could capture me and kill me, didn't you?" and Katherine was like "No doy."

Except it turns out Katherine has been planning an even bigger mass murder plot than we thought. She needs a ton more people to sacrifice along with Elena: a werewolf (Tyler), a witch (Bonnie), and a vampire (Caroline). That seems like WAY too much blood, but whatever. I guess that explains why she turned Tyler and Caroline into monsters. Makes sense. But I was still all mad. NOBODY better touch Caroline!

Back at the cafe, this super-educated vampire guy was just rappin' more about the curse. But all I could think about was, "Whose Dell is that? Sweet Dell, bro. What kind of RAM u got? How's yr gigahertz? USB port for your Zune?"

Anyway, turns out other vampires don't know werewolves exist, apparently? Damon was like, "We got 'em in Mystic Falls." The nerd guy was genuinely impressed, like, "I've got to visit this place, it sounds awesome." IT IS NOT AWESOME. Plus, as a nerd he'd probably get hassled by Jeremy.

Oh but Elijah is outside throwing a handful of quarters through the window.

AAAH! It burns!!

Damon scooped up Rose and carried her to safety. It was actually very studly. I'm starting to think Damon is bit of a stud, you guys, what do you think? Agree/Disagree?

Back at the grill, the new guy apologized to Bonnie for his dad's frankness and they both set off each other's witch-dar. He confirmed that he is indeed a WITCH! Totally a big a surprise. Definitely didn't see that coming. Because I am COLOR BLIND.

And he levitated some salt just to show off.

Bonnie: "You're a witch."

Him: "We prefer the term warlock."

Me: "I prefer the term LOL"

Hey check it out, I redesigned the Vampire Diaries poster. What do you think???



So anyway, Stefan confronted Elena in the tomb, tried to convince her that Katherine shouldn't be trusted, etc.

By the way, this was after that whole long subplot where Caroline wouldn't tell Stefan where Elena was, but then he still just easily figures it out? Awesome. Great storytelling.

So Katherine told them that Klaus murdered her family. Bummer. At least he had the good taste to arrange them in tableau. Feelin' bad for Katherine, y'all.

Then Elena got super pumped to figure out this Klaus situation so that her own family won't get murdered. Understandable! But Stefan still didn't believe Katherine for some reason. I gotta say, this guy was a real dunce this episode. It was all just confrontation and naysaying, but with no reason for it.

Meanwhile, eye-acting!



Oops, let me fix that…


Damon and Rose got trashed:

Because I guess vampires have incredibly fast immune systems for everything except alcohol? I don't buy it. They probably get a 10-second buzz at best before BAM! BACK TO SOBER. (Annoying Vampire Trait #4,030)

But who am I kidding? Ten seconds was all it took before this happened:



Then Jeremy was all butt-hurt when he saw Bonnie hanging out with new guy. But, like, what did Jeremy expect? He invited her to play pool and then made fun of her for not being very good, then played pool by himself. Very smooth, brah.

Then this episode did my favorite thing where they closed it by tying everything together with an emotional song. As Ben Harper sang a sweet ditty, Elena was sad and upset about whatever.

Stefan comforted her. So I guess they're a thing again?

Katherine was chilling in her tomb and found a picture of her family (sans sisters) and she looked like a cross-eyed Mila Kunis. (Street artists in the dark ages were the worst.) Katherine almost even shed a tear! Uh oh, I smell a character reversal.

There was some sexy vampire fireside stuff. It's cool, I like Rose and Damon as a couple. APPROVED.

At this point Ben Harper was full-on screaming on the soundtrack and it felt like he was screeching at me personally. Relax, Ben Harper, you're upsetting my cats.

So Vampire Nerd calls and tells Rose to gather up the moonstone and a witch so they can break the curse on their own before Klaus does. She was like, "Sure, that sounds super," then hung up.

Whoops! Elijah compelled the nerd to trick her and then made him do this. Because Elijah can compel other vampires. Because he can walk in sunlight. Because he can't be staked to death. Because vampire rules are made to be vampire broken. And check out who's helping Elijah!

Some guy! Oh, you thought there would be an INTERESTING cliffhanger this week?

"Nope."

See you in December!!

Questions for y'all:

... Do you love the flashback episodes?

... Has new couple Boremy fizzled out ALREADY?

... Is Katherine about to turn good?

... What do you think Klaus looks like?

... Should Stefan go jump down that Vervain-Snake well again?

P.S. I want to thank all the awesome commenters who have been filling me in on backstory and the stuff I miss during the episodes. I'm very open about being a total dunce, and you guys have brought up a lot of stuff I never knew or just plain forgot about. So yeah, whenever I'm way wrong about something, just tell me in the comments. We're learning here!

Comments (84)
Submit
Sort: Latest | Popular
Some people just don't get a joke and/or sarcasm...this was great!

The questions: I don't LOVE them, but I don't HATE them either; you already know that; I'm pretty sure Katherine will be a big help at some point; I already know...and he looks good, to bad he's boring; YES please! He can even leave there.

My question: Do you answer questions or I;m just waisting my time writing them? lol...I don't mind, I just want to know, so I'll stop.
Reply
Flag
I think it's funny how you referenced Rachel's Place from Family Matters, because Luka, Bonnie's opposite aka Bryton McClure played Ritchie on Family Matters. Did you know that? anyways I love your recaps, other than the Stefan hate. Love it all. "Black People are Witches"
Reply
Flag
Awesome review, as usual. People, get a sense of humor. This man IS a fan.
Reply
Flag
derp, some guy is witchy luka's papa
Reply
Flag
the review was alright, but you need to get your facts straight...

some weird non-sense language? what do you think we speak in BULGARIA. Russian? I don't think so. We naturally speak Bulgarian, the official language.
Reply
Flag
I liked the episode, had fun with the review, and I have questioned myself about why every witch on the show is black... but you have to be careful about jokes. People from all over the world watch the show, and they will read your comments.
Reply
Flag
"Black people are witches" LOLLLLL
1
Reply
Flag
Amusing stuff...makes my break at work way less boring, thanks man.
Reply
Flag
God, this episode was boring. I even paused it to go to the store because I got hungry. That's not supposed to happen.
Reply
Flag
I swore, I'll never write the term 'Stupid Americans', because it's derogatory and I never generalize, but how else can I describe people who like juvenile humor and describe other languages than their own as 'weird'. Its *you* who are responsible for these derogatory generalizations.
3
Reply
Flag
I'm sorry to say it but the review was better than the episode! LOL
Reply
Flag
No offense, hate the review. Dont know why and how you managed to interprete every detail into a joke. Seems like you didnt enjoy the show. Why not stop watching and this review? Or you have nothing better to do?Just a suggestion....
Reply
Flag
All the people that are offended are ridiculous, because it's obvious his/her reviews are set in a tone to make fun of the show. And some of the things he/she said is actually true. It's a fact that they're trying to put light-skin African American only as witches. I'm black and i thought about that since season one. I also thought the language they were speaking in that episode was weird and that it sounded like Spanish mixed with something else
Reply
Flag
"Black peolpe are witches" Hilarious xD
Reply
Flag
"Black peolpe are witches" Hilarious xD
Reply
Flag
WTF? In Bulgaria we speak Russian?! Yes..that is absolutely true! I suppose you speak Mexican (or whatever) then? Learn some geography first! "weird nonsense language" - I am sure my mother makes sense talking.
Stupid americans...
5
Reply
Flag
I deleted my previous comment seeing that it was a joke a bout the language. I didn't like it, but others did. Maybe because here in Europe people are proud of their heritage and just because they are less in numbers than the English speaking countries, they don't feel they should consider themselves inferior. The joke was IMHO tactless.
1
Reply
Flag
I agree with La_Jade! Watch season 1 and write recaps to keep us entertained during the long break :(
Reply
Flag
hahaha; really funny review this time :)
Reply
Flag
nice recaps here
Reply
Flag
1) The "nonsense language" you mentioned was BULGARIAN. Unlike Americans here in Europe we are aware of the fact that there do exist other languages besides our own...



2) The "some guy" who was with Elijah was the new student`s witch father!
1
Reply
Flag
In the first flachback they were in Bulgaria, so NATURALLY they were speaking Bulgarian. And it is a great language. Next time be a little bit more tactful when you comment on a language.
Reply
Flag
Another hilarious review
Reply
Flag
Staff
@InfamousJR SERIOUSLY??
1
Reply
Flag
"And we really didn't even learn that much about Klaus. He's like an evil version of Santa Claus, I guess? " If you read the books you would know that Klaus and Santa Claus were brothers.
Reply
Flag
Dearest Price, please watch all of the shows that I do so you can write hysterical reviews of all of them!



Ok so... how great would it be if this super elusive Klause guy was actually Elijah. I mean.... I don't know about you guys but I'm thinking if Elijah can compel other vamps and shatter windows with quarters that Klause is going to wipe the floor with Mysitc Falls' supernatural teen dream team.
Reply
Flag
I just recently followed a link and found you, Price - LOVE your recaps so much! I watch and enjoy TVD but you make the episodes WAY more fun, thank you! I can relate to getting lectured by knee-jerk, humorless hysterics. To get the most I can out of Supernatural and to have a place to discuss the show, I started doing a recap, adding my thoughts along the way. Maybe four of my friends on the site regularly comment. So this woman who had never said word one before gave me a page long lecture/dressing down over an offhand, lighthearted comment I made about a kilt, as though I had purposely insulted the entire Scottish nation. So I'm glad you are letting the few negative comments roll off your back. Your recaps are fall-off-the-couch funny and I hope to be reading many more in the future!
1
Reply
Flag
Great review! You def. have a talent and I stopped watching VD quite a while ago, now look forward to reading your review every week, despite of possible spoilers. I still plan to see all the eps. I have missed and do not agree with all the negative comments you get, ya'll tend to get really serious bout all this. Haha I enjoy reading it though even to the point of joining and writing a comment myself, go figgure. No really I love this site, it's addictive. Vampire D. seems to get really complicated since the last episode I saw. I wonder if the writers know how silly some things are what they write...like you pointed out al witches are African American. I do not think noticing that makes you a racist. I have noticed in a lot of american (sit) coms there aren't many interacial couples, people kinda stick to there own. Anyway does anyone know why the show stops for a while until december?? And Price: please write more rev. on other show!!!
Reply
Flag
I don't think you're racist at all. Even after the article you wrote about the masquerade episode, I never thought you were. I'm actually a fan of your articles, and I read them to laugh after I finish watching the Vampire Diaries every now and then. You explained your reasons in the article, and I get what you're saying about all the witches being black. I think it's ridiculous that all the witches HAVE to be light skinned African Americans, and that is what I think is racist. It'd be nice for them to change it up and have different cultures of witches. Then maybe fans won't think the moment they cast an African American actor/actress that they're playing a witch. Plus it would give the show more suspense.
Reply
Flag
Why would Bulgarians speak Russian? Those languages are similar, but still different. Yeah, I know it was a joke and all, but obviously not the best one. The new witch was boring, get rid of him. And he may take Bonnie with him.
And I start to love Rose, she is great.
1
Reply
Flag
funny stuff. the new poster made me laugh, but might should've put "Where black people are witches" or else it does seem racist lol part about Jeremy looking like Steven McQueen was also funny, since he's actually Steve McQueen's grandson or whatever
Reply
Flag
In the bag, Elena happens to be carrying a set of new clothes (You will see Katherine wearing it in the next episode. It seems to be a jacket, shirt, and jeans, maybe shoes?), that large lanturn, bottle of blood, and huge book full of family history. I don't know about you but that seems pretty heavy for someone petite like me.
Reply
Flag
Seriously you are hilarious I really don't agree with most of the things that you say but I LOVE the way you say them I just can't stop laughing! Really I tend to obsess about the Shows/movies/stories etc that I like and if you can make me laugh so hard about one of them it's just that your brilliant! Keep up reviewing please I love them!!
Reply
Flag
The "some guy" in the end is the "father" of the "warlock"....could he be Klaus???
Reply
Flag
I've noticed a few things are off after this past week until December - What the hell is going on over there?
Reply
Flag
I've noticed a few things are off after this past week until December - What the hell is going on over there?
Reply
Flag
You are a RIOT! Couldn't stop laughing!!! : ) Please do more recaps!!!! I only watch the show for Ian Somerhalder whose last name should be Smoulderhalder. :)
Reply
Flag
Staff
@mariagoranova usually I hate having to explain when I'm joking, but I also don't want Bulgaria to be mad at me. It was a joke, I know Bulgarians speak Bulgarian. Bulgarians are awesome, even when they play boring characters on Vampire Diaries. @Desari83 OF COURSE the guy in the last scene was the warlock dad. Duh. But who cares, he's still just some guy who had six lines earlier. What a jaw-dropper.
1
Reply
Flag
I love your recaps!!!! :)
Btw the language Katarina was speaking wasnt russian, but bulgarian...surprise! :)
1
Reply
Flag
@ TemiTC it doesn't sound like a joke, and other people share that opinion too. May be if it was about your country or language you would have felt a little bit offended too.
Reply
Flag
@ mariagoranova. It was a Joke about it being Russian. Get a sense of humor. It clearly said Bulgarian in the flashback plus Nina Dobrev is Bulgarian and probably speaks the language.
1
Reply
Flag
I never thought you were racist. I agree. when i saw this episode i did think it was a bit ridiculous that all the witches/warlocks were mixed race African Americans!!
Reply
Flag
How can u say it was a boring episode? Why do people only want kicking, killing and stuff like that. That is not a good show. It was one of the best episodes of both seasons since we finally know more about the background. And you don't like flashbacks? That's one of the main points in vampire literature... seeing the same beings 500 years ago.
You can't have a good series without background stories that tell you more about the character, especially when they have hundreds of years of history. It's so disappointing to see so many people who want soft and meaningless stories. Maybe, Price, you should go deeper in vampire stories to know more about how their structure is (if you haven't) and you will be surprised with this show. From the very beginning we wanted to know about Katherine's past and we finally got it. I think it was a breaking point in the story since we get to understand the "villain" (Katerina now) and almost feel sorry for her.
1
Reply
Flag
But before answering the Qs the Boremy stinks lol, just a heads up. Falshbacks in TVD sucks, all blurry and so not convincing but w/e who cares, they keep doing it the same way and was that the same woods they shoot in it the current time eps or I'm just crazy??? Oh, we are back at the Boremy thing, well, Bonnie!!! Nuff said *Eye roll* Can she get more annoying, I guess yeah, with TVD anything can get even more boring lol. Kathrine turn good, oh was she bad in the 1st place? Bummer, the whole acting wasn't that good to notice but point taken. Though considering she was bad in the 1st place, it will be so not cool to make her the new fluffy vamp, enough with Stefan for crying out loud!. Kalus, bad,but not a total sicko, I want a total sicko, please give me a total sicko vamp, we need one after Damon got all soft-poor Damon :'( lol. Last question, my answer is YES please!!! P.S: New poster, LOL, dude, racist! :P
Reply
Flag
May be you should open some textbooks or Wikipedia and read something about the world and then please get your head out of your a**. Bulgaria is a real country, Nina Dobrev spoke really good Bulgarian for someone who doesn't have contact with the country or the language.
Reply
Flag
are u really questioning what 'weird nonsense language' they were speaking after mentioning bulgaria urself two lines earlier? even though probably everyone knows Nina Dobrev is of Bulgarian origin? seriously? cause if it's supposed to be sarcasm, it's really not workin out too well. I actually found it to be refreshing to hear somebody speak foreign language properly.

Other than that I agree on most parts of the recap even though I didn't dislike this episode just as much. I was kinda hoping the new guys would turn out to be witch hunters instead of witches, but I guess you're right....they just had to be witches due to their skin colour.

Here's what really bothers me though: Apparently it is like so hard to find a werewolf these days and also a Katerina Doppelgaenger is a once in a billion shot....what are the odds of them popping up at the same area and (of course) having been friends with a witch for almost their whole life?! On the other hand, witches really do seem to be quite common after all. And also: is it just me or would anyone else be ok with Elena killing herself just to protect her family and friends and whatever??? That girl is just so incredibly annoying. I caught myself yawning when she started crying yet again. Why is everyone getting so worked up about her anyway...I guess I just don't see it.
More+
Reply
Flag
Another good review. I kind of had a feeling the new guy, or his dad, would be involved with the whole "originals" plot-line. I mean, come on, who moves from Louisiana to Mystic Falls(aka monster capital of the world)?
Reply
Flag
Maybe the next plot twist is that all were-wolves are Jewish. Gay zombies anyone?
1
Reply
Flag
So only black people are witches? I'm starting to get it.
Reply
Flag
Maybe only African Americans have what it takes to be witches/warlocks and the white ppl are just helpless. I mean certain bloodlines have certain positives and negatives, so maybe they have skills that those rich white kids don't. just sayin'
Reply
Flag
Load More Comments

Like TV.com on Facebook

  • 9:00 pm
    What Would You Do?
    NEW
    ABC
  • 10:00 pm
    20/20
    NEW
    ABC