The Vampire Diaries "Memorial" Review: Monster Dot Vom (PHOTO RECAP)

The Vampire Diaries S04E02: "Memorial"

In all the excitement over last week's premiere, I forgot to mention one thing. I wrestled an angry giraffe and won! Haha no, just kidding, I forgot to mention TWO things. The other thing was how much I adore the new "previously on" montage that happens right before the cold open. You know, for way too long we had to put up with that shot of Stefan looking out the window at whatever the F, all moping about how old he was or something. But now we have this vivid and engaging, near full-cast breakdown of the monster population of Mystic Falls and the various conflicts between them. PLUS this week's seemed to integrate actual events from last week, making it both a super general rundown of the series so far, plus some short term things to keep in mind. I think the reason I love it so much is that it finally, finally places the emphasis on this show's stellar ensemble rather than the exhausted love triangle. I mean, sure, I realize a majority of the show's teenage lady fans are only invested in which Salvatore Elena will end up with, but for the rest of us civilized grown-ups, this is a top-notch serial with an insanely deep pool of talent beyond the primary three characters. You know? It's about time that TVD began to promote itself as the epic that it is!

But another reason I'm all into this new "previously on" thing is that it serves as a reminder that no matter how much has gone down in the past three seasons, this show has achieved a sort of reliable rhythm and stasis. It's not that important things haven't happened to these characters, it's that SO MANY important things have happened that they've all cancelled each other out and we're back to basics again. No really, take a step back and see that while some characters may have switched species and/or fallen in or out of love, the relationships, struggles and dynamics remain largely the same as how they began. From Bonnie's doubts about her role in this clique, to Caroline's need to make things nice, to Damon's snark, Stefan's well-intentioned sanctimony, Elena's compassion. The new cold open suggests that we can go ahead and clean the slate of labyrinthine details of these kids' adventures; their journeys have been simpler than we think. Anyway, this all ties into "Memorial," a truly great episode of The Vampire Diaries that was not only hecka (or even hella) exciting and intense, it also served as a much-needed spiritual housecleaning for the show moving forward. That, plus TONS OF BLOOD VOMIT.

It's cool if we talk about it right?? (Oh dear God I hope so.)

In what had to be the weirdest camping trip since Stefan shared a sleeping bag with Klaus down in Tennessee, Elena and Stefan woke up in the woods and made various attempts to stalk and kill animals. The whole sequence was artfully intercut with Stefan and Damon bickering over whether Elena should even attempt to drink animal blood. Damon reasoned that basically 100% of all new vampires end up murdering someone accidentally so Elena should just go ahead and break the seal on that and get it out of the way lest she bottle up the urge and turn into a ripper down the line. But Stefan was trying to honor Elena's wish to successfully transition into a vampire without hurting anybody, a wish she clung to even harder now that their vampirism had HEIGHTENED her compassion. (Did you take a drink every time someone said "heightened"? No you didn't because then you'd be chillin' with the angels in heaven after drinking yourself TO DEATH.)

So yeah, watch out baby animals, Elena was on the loose!

Unfortunately she didn't really like the taste of baby deer blood, plus she felt too bad to actually kill the poor thing. But it was hard for her to stay sad because every time Stefan touched her she got HELLA HORNY.

Until she'd suddenly get NOT HORNY, that is.

Haha, don't take it personal, Stefan. It's probably not the first nor the last time somebody will run away from you and vomit blood in the forest. Anyway, yeah, it was clear that Elena's body was rejecting all forms of blood that weren't human and seasoned with murder.

Oh, meet our newest villain!

Connor was some kind of mysterious, powerful new vampire hunter. As a vampire hunter I'm sure that incompetent local governments that work in accord with vampire communities were nothing new to him, but Mystic Falls must've represented a new low. When he arrived to investigate the Pastor's exploded kitchen, the place had sorta been investigated but the police hadn't thought to look inside the same oven that had caused the gas explosion. Just good investigating, Mystic Falls.

At Mystic Grill, Sheriff Forbes was doing the bare minimum of work required to get to the bottom of the deaths of DOZENS of people. By that I mean she just sorta asked Damon if he'd murdered them.

In no other circumstance would an authority figure just take a murder suspect at their word, but Damon did make a convincing case that he's not really one to lie about murdering people. Except when he does lie about things and/or compels people to forget, etc. I don't know. Sheriff Forbes should've probably asked at least one follow-up question, you know? It's in the handbook. Anyway, the vampire hunter arrived and claimed he was an "independent investigator" looking into the explosions and would the Sheriff please give him full access to the evidence? I don't mean to shock you, but the Sheriff just immediately agreed without even looking at credentials. Crime stoppin'!

So here's April, the daughter of that jerk pastor who burnt up his own face, neck, head, chest, legs, body, and soul. She'd been away at boarding school, but had decided to move back to town now that her father was dead and she was an orphan? I don't know either. But the fact that she walked directly up to Jeremy and started doing an Anna impression made it seem pretty likely that THIS WAS HAPPENING.

So one of the primary plotlines was how almost right away Elena started going behind Stefan's back to get Damon's help in feeding. In vampire stories drinking blood is basically a metaphor for sex, so in this situation she was going outside of her vanilla relationship and getting quickies on the side with someone else. The weird part was, her thing was Stefan was only vanilla because she'd insisted on it. So she was in essence pulling some virgin-whore type shenanigans that usually only dudes do. You know what I mean, like when guys want to do racy sex things but never with someone so pure as their wives or girlfriends? It's a weird logic, and in my opinion that's what Elena was doing in this episode.

So here was a new thing we learned about vampire lore: When one vampire drinks from another vampire (which I guess is a thing vampires can do?) it's considered super intimate. Good to know! I was hoping they'd go further with this idea, like you can taste the vampire's emotions and memories and stuff, but no. It seemed to be mostly just a moralistic vampire society thing.

Meanwhile Tyler and Caroline were up in his room sexin' but she was feeling too guilty because of all the dead people. Tyler made a very astute point that too many folks die in this town on the regular for them to be not sexin' because of it. Then they both said how much they loved each other and then did a forehead touch.

Meanwhile Mayor Lockwood had to take break from holding a glass up to the door and go downstairs to speak to a surprise visitor:

Connor was NOT having the Mayor's excuses as to why the deaths of the vampire council members weren't really being investigated. The whole thing had been ruled an accident, which LOL! First of all, how is it that 10 seconds of leaked gas killed an entire room full of people? Like fully killed? No survivors at all? People can survive plane crashes, but a quick blast of 3rd degree burns is 100% lethal? Firefighters didn't arrive to find any people screaming about singed eyebrows and how much they hate their pastor now? Maybe they cut out a scene where after the initial flash, a huge crate full of exotic snakes opened and finished everybody off? Anyway, Connor was not very impressed by any of it and forced his way into the house.

So Tyler came downstairs (still putting his clothes on, because this household is very pro-Tyler sex) and shook Connor's hand only to realize his glove was made of vervain! At this point, Connor reacted FAST.

Tyler did NOT expect to be shot a ton of times. Fortunately he was able to get his bearings while Connor was reloading and get out of there.

Tyler eventually showed up at the area's finest mahogany vampire hospital for some five-star vampire medical treatment.

Stefan deduced that because the bullets were wooden and covered in mystical insignias, that Connor was probably a vampire hunter. Good guess! There was also the time when Connor tried to murder a vampire ON SIGHT, but Stefan made good points also.

This episode was called "Memorial" because there was to be a town wide memorial service for all the people that got blowed up in the pastor's kitchen. It's getting to the point where I'm thrilled to see ANY new parts of Mystic Falls, so I'm pretty sure this church was new? I definitely don't remember having seen it before, or maybe just from this angle. But I appreciated the effort being made to introduce us to more locations and exteriors in this world. Makes Season 4 feel even fresher, you know?

While setting up, Elena ran into April who was busily writing a eulogy for her father. Elena tried to comfort her the best she could.

But their heartfelt moment was cut short when Elena started licking her lips at the sound of April's audible pulse.

And so Elena ran away, locked herself in a bathroom and then THIS happened:

AND THIS:

HAHA OMG. Obviously this part was hilarious and the best, and is already on my Best of 2012 list. I love what a terrible vomiter Elena was! Just totally missing the toilet, then standing up and vomiting all over the mirror and sink and then HERSELF. I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but I hate throwing up more than just about anything in the world, but I am still really good at it! It's actually not that hard to NOT vomit all over the entire bathroom. Again, not trying to brag, but NOT covering a bathroom in vomit is one of my skills, I put it on my resume and everything.

Over at Bonnie's house (which, oh right! Bonnie!), Stefan paid her a visit even though she was still pretty bummed about Grams dying (again).

But in case you were wondering, no, Stefan would not have dropped by to check on Bonnie if he didn't need something from her. In this case he wanted her to look at the wooden bullets he'd pulled out of Tyler's abs. As you might have guessed, Bonnie had no idea what the symbols meant. "What are these things even, George Washington's teeth?" Bonnie did not ask this but in my mind she did.

Anyway, I feel like now is a good time to mention that I liked Bonnie in these scenes because she basically dropped the whole chip on her shoulder toward vampires thing, allowed Stefan to be her friend, and even seemed resigned that she'll never get back in good with her ancestors so F 'em. Would love to see a much less mopey Bonnie this season, especially if it means she stops dwelling on her (admittedly understandable) misfortunes and just gets involved because magic is fun? In my dream reboot of this series Bonnie walks around with a glass of scotch and a lit cigarette and gets people out of jams, but not before telling them off good. Even in this version of the show, there's a rich history of sassy witches, so I think that kind of personality shift could totally be squared with Bonnie's big heart, you know? Fingers crossed!

But yeah, back to Elena's bathroom drama. It was so disgusting and hilarious and tense! Connor, of course, showed up to rattle the doorknob while she was trying to figure out what to do about all the blood-vomit.

She ended up calling Damon who brought her a new dress and even distracted Connor while she changed. All jokes aside, THAT is a good friend, for real.

I loved how awkward it was when she came out of the bathroom and tried to explain all the commotion inside. Even Connor, who as a vampire hunter may have suspected vampire shenanigans, must've at least considered the possibility that Elena was dealing with a Montezuma's revenge situation. I'm willing to bet he didn't so much as pop his head into that bathroom after she left, just didn't want to take that risk.

Damon brought Elena a vampire Capri-Sun, but it STILL didn't do the trick.

So at this point it didn't even matter that it was human blood, what Elena craved was blood straight from an artery. She craved only the finest. So Elena was a vampire foodie basically!

At this point Stefan caught Damon giving her human blood and was all butt-hurt about being left out of the equation (understandable). But then he got LIVID when he found out Elena drank some of Damon's blood. But in my opinion Stefan needs to relax, and for one reason.

STEFAN IS IN NO POSITION TO CRITICIZE ANYBODY. Sorry. I still don't think he sufficiently apologized for his stint as North America's most prolific mass murderer in centuries. Or for killing Damon's girlfriend or openly terrorizing the woman who loved him. So yeah, deal w/it Stefan.

So a few things about the Memorial service, which was AWESOME. First we saw Connor stab April for some reason, then when she didn't stand up to eulogize her father, Elena took it upon herself to do it instead because LOL.

Oh yeah, and Connor was aiming his cross hairs at everyone from the balcony.

Meanwhile April was bleeding to death and it was dripping down into the holy water basin.

So that was his plan! He wanted to drip human blood in the room so that vampires would start acting a fool and he'd pick them off! Hey Connor, not to call your expertise into question, but you do know that humans can smell blood too, right? And they can also SEE it when it drips from the ceiling into the holy water basin? And they can also SEE huge men with sniper rifles on the balcony, particularly when those humans are standing on stage facing the balcony? But then again, this is Mystic Falls, the nation's leading exporter of obliviousness. So yeah, perfect plan!

There was a nice moment when it seemed like Elena would literally die or go nuts if she didn't drink blood, so Matt let her feed on him and made it look like a hug.

My favorite part was when the choir was singing in honor of the victims and Tyler INTERRUPTED to start talking about playing sports or whatever. It was such a perfect Tyler moment. Unfortunately Connor did NOT agree.

Whoops! Another public shooting! You know the drill, Mystic Falls, citizens. I honestly don't know why these people even leave the house anymore.

After Connor made a hasty exit, Damon gave a hasty chase.

Haha, I love few things as much as I love when car doors get ripped off. Connor seemed SO annoyed when Damon ripped the door off his truck and I don't blame him. Pretty soon they were tussling on the ground, and pretty soon Damon was on the receiving end of the Connor Specialty.

Before Connor could finish Damon off, Stefan came out and chased him away. Phew!

Unfortunately Stefan was still all pissy from earlier. Stefan is such a cool dude. Remember when Damon spent a lot of Season 3 patiently trying to heal Stefan? Stefan didn't!

Meanwhile Elena found April bleeding to death in the balcony and her vampire instincts took over!

Fortunately, Mystic Falls M.V.P. Caroline stepped in and stopped her from shredding the poor girl, and it was easily one of the most touching things that has happened on this show. Caroline talked her down from a bloodthirsty rage, healed April, assured her that despite almost being murdered just now, she's safe, and then encouraged Elena to compel her back into a state of innocence.

If you ask me, Elena went a little too far, compelling her not only to forget that Elena almost ate her, but also that she'll be her bestie and look after her from this day forward. So basically Elena went and compelled a guest-star into becoming a series regular, right? That's fine, April seems interesting and it's cool to have another human being in the mix. On the other hand, poor April? Maybe when her father died in a mysterious murder-suicide that should've been her first hint that moving back to Mystic Falls was not a great plan? Oh well, good luck, girl.

After a long day of attempting a public assassination, Connor was just relaxing at Mystic Grill. He half-way hassled Matt about the obvious vampire bite on his neck, but the main thing was that Jeremy spotted Connor's "tattoo" and complimented him, as teenage boys are wont to do.

The twist was, there wasn't no tattoo! Or more specifically, his tattoo was a ghost! Connor got a ghost tattoo, you guys! Which I guess means that this vampire hunter (and his mysterious sigil-inscribed bullets) was somehow in league with ghosts?

That would seem to be the suggestion from the dead pastor's letter to April: Lots of portentous promises about how his death was just the beginning, and part of a plan, and BTW a much greater evil was on the way, etc. Interesting stuff! Not so interesting that Connor didn't wait 10 hours to read the letter, but still.

Okay, can we talk about the Mystic Falls Courier for a second?

There were at least three hilarious things printed on that front page:

- "Career Zone: More than 500 local job opportunities"

- "Workplace: How women's changing influence our environment [sic]. A special report."

And my favorite:

- "OPINIONS: Do cultural events divide or connect our community? Officials do not always agree."

LOLOLOL.

Anyway, Stefan finally confronted Elena about having gone behind his back to get blood from Damon.

OR because she's turning into a monster and in love with someone who is often a sanctimonious NIGHTMARE. He was definitely trying to have it both ways: Be the understanding mentor helping her transition without letting her emotions get the best of her WHILE ALSO being super emotionally manipulative? So yeah, Stefan, she started sobbing when you berated and guilt-tripped her, what did you THINK would happen?

Anyway, Elena seemed pretty fixated on how much grief she'd been feeling about all the death in her life recently, and to me it seemed like that was a big factor in why her body was not transitioning properly. To his credit, Stefan actually had a GOOD idea at this point.

See, he can be a pretty cool guy when he's not awful. You know? In this case, he gathered up the whole gang (well, not everyone; Tyler was faking recuperation at the E.R. while Rebekah and Meredith were up in the club or whatever), but most of the original gang anyway. And he gave everyone floaty Japanese lanterns and they all ceremoniously bid adieu to all of the grief-thetans that had been weighing them down recently. We were treated to a very touching roll call of all the people these characters had lost over the past three seasons.

And then they released their paper lanterns into the night sky.

It was a lovely image, and for a split-second I was concerned about fire safety, but then I remembered that this town would be LUCKY to burn down. What was the harm?

Damon was NOT having the lantern shenanigans, so instead he went to Alaric's grave (which, wait, how long ago did Alaric die in this timeline? Three days ago?) and started bitching about all the other characters and how it's his lot in life to babysit them, etc. Well, yeah, dude, you hang out with high school students. Anyway, all his crabbiness was just Damon's way of demonstrating how much he missed his drinking buddy (and only real friend).

Boom. Oh no my eyeballs are leaking!!

Guys, "Memorial" was a high-stakes episode that not only introduced some compelling new characters and situations, it was filled out with dread, poignant moments, and even poetry. And SO MUCH BLOOD VOMIT. I can't impress this on you enough.

Me gusta. BYE


QUESTIONS:

... Is Connor a good villain? What's his deal?

... Is April basically this show's version of Dawn?

... Do you feel bad for Tyler and Caroline for not getting to do all the sex?

... Are you good or bad at vomiting?

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1) Well, sort of. He might not exactly be the smoothest operator in the world, but that's not really necessary in a town with the worst sheriff's department in probably the whole world.



2) haha, probably



3) not really, I'm sure there will be plenty of sexy times for them in the future.



4) I'm excellent at vomiting. Never missed a bowl in my life :)
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Ok, my bad. I missed this one last week. I feel like a disloyal Price fan. (and I AM a Price fan for sure!) But, actually I was just too busy to go online much. BUT, I see you have return to the "video clip" part of your recap, which I complained about after episode 1. Of COURSE it would be the vomiting in the bathroom scene . . . truly gross . . . . but VERY fitting for this episode. and I'm going with #4 first . . . I am a GOOD vomiter, very good. I never thought of putting that on my resume! Thanks for the tip! See, I told you that you rule, Price! #3 (going backward I guess) - I DON'T feel bad for Tyler and Caroline, Tyler is returning to more of his insensitive self..... there is always time for more sex when they aren't grieving! #2 - I don't know who "Dawn" is, lol! #1 - Conner is a so so villiain. I think he may get to be a better villain when he get to hear more ABOUT his deal. . . I reserve judgement until I hear more about him.... right now I think he has the POTENTIAL to be a GREAT nemesis for Damon!
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"In my dream reboot of this series Bonnie walks around with a glass of scotch and a lit cigarette and gets people out of jams, but not before telling them off good."



YES, can this please be a thing when they do the "Vampire Detectives" spin off starring Caroline, Rebekah, Damon, and Katherine? And the ghosts of Lexi, Rose, and Jasmine Guy?



Whodathunk there would come a day when the prospect of Bonnie being one of the cool characters was even a thing?



Also, from now on I will have to actually look at the newspaper headlines because that was hysterical.



Oh please gods don't let April be Dawn. No one even really wanted *Dawn* as Dawn.
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1) He's a pretty good villain so far, but he probably needs to be a tad more subtle, like say... not stabbing teenage girls and shooting teenage boys at town memorial services were anybody could see him.

2) Unsure, she seems okay so far

3) No, I want Caroline and Klaus to have all the sex- sorry Tyler

4) Not to brag but I like to think I'm a pretty good vomitter. I mean, anybody has to be better at it than Elena, we all know that you don't remove your head from the toilet bowl until your positive that there's nothing more to come up.
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First, my favorite scene ... " ... stupid, delusional, exasperating little children"



There is a lot to be said for Damon acknowledging the fact that he is dealing with ridiculous teens and soap opera queens. I am hopeful (though far from certain) that this is indicative of the show's evolving perspective. Damon seems to provide a realistic-ish perspective... in lieu of actual strategic planning in any form.





Anywhoo...



Is Connor a good villain? What's his deal?



Connor is a great villain, in that there isn't another option (at the moment). Our heroes need someone to fight. Why not some mystically obligated Knights Templar-esque foe? Not that I know anything about Connor's raison d'etre but ...



... Is April basically this show's version of Dawn?

Um, yes? Jeremy always needs someone to protect. If it isn't Bonnie (Vicky, Anna, or Elena) then April will do.



... Do you feel bad for Tyler and Caroline for not getting to do all the sex?



Not much. They don't seem to be having problems with ... implementation.



Tyler, Caroline, and whomever they choose to lock loins with will be A-OK.



... Are you good or bad at vomiting?



Not that I would want to but I'm pretty sure I could vomit for my country.
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The thing is... if you're bad at vomiting, thats where a bucket comes in handy. If you choose a proper bucket, you can even put your whole head in, and not get any of you vomit anywhere but IN THE BUCKET - tried it myself a coupla times. Works just fine. You can even sleep with your head in the bucket...though I only suggest doing that when its still empty. Sortof like a precautionary measure.

You can tell I've had practice.. ;) but i NEVER made a mess of it like elena did.



1. He's a proper villan, but seems to be not very skilled at his profession. So far he blew his cover and annoyed the hell out of everybody....

2. april...well she seems uninteresting as of now.

3. YES :)

4. as could tell, I'm not to shabby ;)
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Oh my damn. I was not prepared to see Matt Davis on my screen. I lost it, cried, jumped, squealed, and then just bawled my eyes out. I heart Damon and Alaric so hard, and that was most awesome scene.
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I'm sorry if I am going off topic here but the nominations for people's choice awards opened today and TVD and some of the cast are among the options. So if you feel like it, head over there to vote so that our favorite show can win! :D
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And I just saw that you can nominate US! How awesome is that!? Vote for TVD family at the people's choice awards! :D
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Thanks for the heads up! Voting for TVD! :)
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Just a question. Considering that a year is 2 seasons in VD time, and the beginning of last season was the end of summer, and that they have had homecoming, but not prom yet, wouldnt that mean that its about winter time now? Doesnt it snow in Virginia? How is everybody wearing dresses and not cold?
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haha, I gave up on trying to figure out how the hell their timeline works
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Some things are not supposed to be questioned ;) Let's just say that MF has eight seasons each year! :)
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I'm better than Alaina.
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Your recaps are one of the reasons why I look forward to a new season of TVD.



I loved this episode, though! Not really sure how I feel about April, I'm kinda meh about her, the slayer guy seemed pretty cool and I love that the CW is bringing new sets and characters in. Must be all the extra budget from awesome sets that TSC used. WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN OVER, THAT SHOW WAS FANTASTIC. *sigh*



But haha, when everyone was lightin' those lanterns, I totally felt like it was just some sort of contest about who lost the most family members, and Jeremy just freakin' blew everyone out of the water when it was his turn. Poor Jer.



Ehhh, couldn't care at all about Caroline and Tyler. I'm ALL for Klaus and Caroline. That hot hybrid/vampire sex thing needs to happen between them. KLAROLINEEEEE.



I don't vomit enough to know whether I'm good or bad at vomiting, ahahahah! I guess I'm pretty good. Elena was absolutely terrible tho, it really cracked me up.



Awesome recap and to this week's episode!
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I haven't vomited IN AGES, but basically ANYBODY should be better than Elena! XD

Thanks for the great recap!



THIS:



>> "What are these things even, George Washington's teeth?" Bonnie did not ask this but in my mind she did.



really cracked me up)))
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1. A good villain? You mean like a good guy who is acting like a villain or just a villain who is actually nicely fleshed out? I theorize that the tattoo (which to me was the symbol, which I am guessing Alaric could have told them about and the white oak ash tree done in ink that is made from dead vampire blood which is why Jeremy can see it)



2. Oh, don't curse April with that title.



3. They are just funny...



4. I am not terrible at it, I have only thrown up once in like the past twenty years and I made it to the bathroom and restricted it to the toilet alone.
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Sometimes I wonder if the cast also makes fun of the show as we do... You know, noticing mistakes in rules they've made or laugh at the amount of times the say hightened in this episode. ;)
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I also forgot to give out about the fact that Damon seems to think that Elena's doppelganger blood means she could reject the vampire transition, yet she seems to have dept Matt's blood down just fine, and of course not forgetting that Katherine, the original doppelganger, is one of the most awesomest vampires ever! Her blood didnt reject it! Unless of course Elena is SO LAME that her body rejects the one thing that might make her remotely tolerable. Which is possible, she is the worst!
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Hahha totally on board with the "Elena is the worst"-part! This is just a theory of mine, so don't blame if I get something wrong. But we never actually saw Katherines first feed (exept for the one that completed the transision). And I would guess that her first feed was from a live human and blood from the vein since, well, she is Katherine. And therefore we have never seen what happens when a newborn doppelgnger has her first feed from an animal or blood bag. And btw have we ever seen a vampire on this show whose first feed wasn't a living human? Or at least that we know of.

So my point is, maby TVD is saying that doppelgngers are a bit special and must feed from live humans the first time they feed. Sound kind of stupid but it could be true. Or maybe I'm just over analyzing things and the TVD writers just came up with this to add more drama and confusion...
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I can't remember, but didn't Caroline complete her transition from a blood bag in the hospital? I know she got that nurse afterwards, but technically I think her first was not from the vein...
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I felt so sorry for April! She comes back to Mystic Falls and she suddenly gets thrown into this mess and gets stabbed on the day of her father's funeral. Worst welcome ever. But then again, it is Mystic Falls.
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Damn, Connor made a badass introduction! I hope he sticks around for a while longer. Take note Klaus, this is how you be a villain!!!
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Episode was great!!! but through the episode I was like theres something missing and it was Klaus if he dies then TVD will not be the same anymore at least for me I can accept him going away for a while and then coming back for some reason but not death for me as of right now he is TVD my opinion :)
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I agree with Kelsey, your recaps are great! I like your style of writing and the humour you find in scenes that tend to be quite disturbing, for a teen show, and it always makes me laugh or snort really loud.

Mostly I don't think about the small details while watching TVD, because it's not the shows strong suit, but when I read your recaps I realize how ridiculous this show really is (still like it though and look forward to it every week).
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Funny you mention Dawn from BtVS, Connor reminds me a little of Principal Wood, at least looks wise. Though I am sure they fight equally well...
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I just have to say that these recaps are the best and always make me laugh!



1. Connor is very interesting. I want him to stick around cause I want to know what his deal is and what's his plan.



2. Probably.



3. I'm sure there will be plenty more deaths for them to have sex over in th future



4. Not bad, but I sure don't make a mess like Elena!



Miss you Alaric :(
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I propose a Vampire Diaries chat next Sunday (the 27th of October), at GMT 16.00. Same time, same place. If you're interested, contact me. Be there, or be square. :)
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I like it, but i propose sunday the 28th instead ;)
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Oops, my bad! Thanks Klara.
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I cannot believe I missed it while watching the episode: Elena was the only one who lit the lantern for herself. Because Stefan and Caroline are dead (well, at least not alive) as well, so is Tyler (he wasn't there, but Caroline was). Jeremy died several times, but was brought back by the ring.



I wonder if the writers did it to mock the most selfish character of the show - Elena :D
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Haha true, though Caroline got her own funeral/self-mourning session a while back.
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Yeah but Caroline is so awesome, she deserves it. Elena is crap.
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I thought you would say more about The blood sharing and Damon and the Holy Water. Still a good recap.
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This recap was hilarious as always and I had to keep covering my mouth to keep from laughing really loudly in public.



1. I'm very excited to know what the heck is Connor's deal, his backstory, how much he knows, the stuff they'll probably never fully explain before he meets his untimely death, etc.

2. Yes probably, feeling very indifferent about her right now. She just reminded me way too much of Anna when she was talking to Jeremy so no me gusta there because maybe Jeremy just shouldn't have girlfriends?

3. No, because no one else is getting to do all the sex, and I'm not going to count bloodsharing even though there were some curious mouth noises and faces going on there. (that we're aware of)

4. I'm certainly better than Elena
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I'm so sorry I keep nagging about the live chat but if there is some action going on over at tinychat, can someone please send the link? I am on an iPhone right now so I don't have the link to the chatroom saved :(
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Haha, did anyone else not think it was completely ridiculous for Damon to bring Elena outside in broad daylight IN PLAIN SIGHT to drink that blood bag?? I laughed so much at that part. After all the subterfuge in the bathroom, just go outside to the front of the church to guzzle down some blood there Elena. Guess transitioning to a vampire didn't regenerate any of your dead brain cells!



Tyler was actually making a speech about taking one for the team, as in he got up to draw Connor out so Damon could go kill him without everybody being suspicious. (Not likely in that town, but how and ever).



So glad this show is back, this was a great episode, much better than last weeks. Was a bit worried after last weeks one.

And that ending. So sad!
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Also, not sure how accurate this is, but according to IMDB April is only in 2 episodes. Bummer, I quite like her, I think we need some new girls for Jeremy, Bonnie is the pits and he needs a super hot rebound chick.
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Also, I'm most annoyed at the lack of English-accented character right now... #TeamDaftBint
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I miss Rebekah...
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Me too. SO MUCH!
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*Gives mmmshuddup a high-five* I'd also like to add Elijah to the mix.
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Price, you're awesome, man!! You made my day!! Every sentence you drop in here is Priceless!
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When April was shown writing some stuff in her notebook on the pews (before being interrupted by Connor), I was kinda hoping she would turn out to be a witch with her own little Book of Spells.



Just because I think Bonnie could do with some help now (and another human-witch friend). :)
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I would be Bonnie's 'friend'. All I need is for TVD to give me the call...
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Friend with Benefits I'm betting...lol
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Obvs
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Since these kinds of shows makes viewers like vamps and other supernatural creatures, then anyone trying to kill them is automatically bad.
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- Seems like a good villain for now. He has potential, so we'll see.

- I hope so. I like bad-ass more than whiney.

- Nope. Tyler s booooring. He made a good point, though.

- Yup. Nine out of ten times I manage not to spill vomit in the whole bathroom.



A great photo recap. I totally agree about Stefan being unfair and wanting to have it both ways.

My favourite line: "... the weirdest camping trip since Stefan shared a sleeping bag with Klaus down in Tennessee..." LMAO! You're the best.

Also. Am sad. No Klaus in this episode. Luckily, he'll be in the next one.
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Ok now that I finally read the recap I ALSO got a nice refresher course.. Did anyone else LOL when Elena dedicated her lantern also to herself? Of course, Elena, you _would_.

I really liked the last scene with Damon and Alaric. I miss Alaric :(
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Whoa. Where have I been? I forgot to check in on this, next thing I know there's almost 500 comments. No way I can catch up on all those. Sorry ACP!

Actually haven't read the recap yet either, but I will answer the usual questions:

- Not really. I don't like him at all. And after Klaus, puuuf it's gonna be difficult to find a good villain.

- Dawn? Who is that?

- Nope

- I thought I was good until I saw Elena. First time her character has impressed me in quite a while haha
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lol I thought he was talking about Dawn in the Secret Circle for some reason. It honestly never occurred to me he was talking about BTVS and I've seen all 7 seasons xD.
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Same here! RIP TSC. :(
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You need to buy all 7 seasons of Buffy and start watching right away. It was a far better show than TVD will ever be (OK, maybe not the first season). Dawn showed up in season 5 I think.
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Ahhh.. I watched the first three of four seasons. So that would explain it. I disagree, though. It was good for its _time_, but kinda tired by today's standards. To me, TVD is a solid 10/10 show. But that's only because of how much I love it, not because it's LITERALLY perfect. Anyway, so yeah then Buffy TVS would be like a 7/10.
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You should at least download a few of the classic episodes and see what you think: 4x10 "Hush", 5x16 "The Body" and 6x07 "Once more with feeling" are on everyone's lists of favorite episodes.
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@Mey LOL yes I definitely had enough with Buffy that's why I stopped watching :)
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LOL, apparently I can't read. I see now that you said that you love the show even though it *isn't* literally perfect. I can understand *that*. (My reply below is based on a misread. I thought you said that TVD *is* literally perfect).

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Literally perfect? What is it about this show that makes so many people not just *forgive* its flaws, but to be *unaware* of them? It doesn't make sense to me.

I really liked this episode, but lots of things in it were kind of dumb. The police never opened the oven!? Stefan to Tyler: "If you were a normal vampire, you'd be dead". Then Damon got shot in the chest/stomach area with five bullets just like Tyler and neither Damon nor Stefan is even concerned about it. Elena didn't tell April to remember seeing Tyler getting shot. That's OK, because she's a moron, but Caroline was there too. If they have half a brain each, one of them should have thought of it. Next episode April should be all like "Why the hell is everyone saying that Tyler got shot in the Church. I was there. People got up and said nice things. No one got shot. And Tyler is right there. Does he look like he just got shot?" But you know that's not going to happen. And what about Caroline taking the time to put on a robe at a normal human speed before she goes downstairs at a normal human speed to see why she just heard FIVE gunshots?

If one of the very best episodes of the show has all of these problems and more, then how is the *show* literally perfect?
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This has been bugging me. I'm sure it's bugging no one else, but if I get it all out here maybe it will leave my mind. Connor said he was an "independent contractor". To be an independent contractor, you have to be offering your services to the general public. If no people pay you for those services for two years, if I recall correctly, you are a hobbyist (or amateur). If one person/company pays you, you are an employee. No one is interested in paying this guy, as far as we know, so he is, in fact, a hobbyist, and killing is his hobby. He's an unemployed criminal. Also, apparently, a liar. Incidentally, at his age, these are huge liabilities when it comes to dating; I predict he dies alone.
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Does the "general public" include ghosts? Does the pay have to be money, or can it be in barter, like magical, invisible ghost tattoos?
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We don't know for certain that people/companies aren't paying him. Maybe he's a sort of gun-for-hire specialising in the supernatural?
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So did not occur to me... Nice.
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There is a thing called "projectile vomit" which is pretty hard to control. I'm guessing this is what Elena was suffering from, vampire-style of course.
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This was a great ep...was so excited to see Alaric at the end? Do ya think he's back..as a ghost I mean? Man I hope so. There's obvs gonna be a whole lot of real world vs spirit world stuff this season. Maybe Alaric will fight the good fight from the other side now...



On another note, I nearly always find Stefan annoying but even more so when he's being a sanctimonious hypocrite. Totally on Damon's team about letting Elena work through her vamp issues the 'normal' way.
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I have never watched this show. Mainly, I was too stacked with other shows to give time to another. Suddenly, after readin this recap, enjoying all the crazy ironies, and totally loving that I am able to hit the toilet when puking (unless it is coming out both ends, then it is the trashcan, TMI?), I think it's time to start watching this show. It sounds like I can somewhat start anew with the recap beginnings, catch up on old stuff later. THANKS!
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How is it that you haven't watched this show before?! Oh well, better late than never. Welcome to TVD and its awesome fandom!
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It happend to me last year, i read one of prices recap and then i just couldn't stop watching
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I would love to see sheriff Forbes go all "This is my Town, Bitch!!!" *Blam, Blam, Blam* on Connor when he comes after Caroline.
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Awesome recap (obviously). I'm a little late to the comment party this week, but here goes:

Saint Stefan is seriously getting on my nerves. Vamp Elena is (slightly) less awful than human Elena. Sad couch-Bonnie has my sympathy, I like her better than nose-bleed Bonnie. Damon is awesome. I miss Alaric. Hope Matt doesn't spend the whole season feeling guilty about Elena. WHERE ARE KLAUS AND ELIJAH?!?! I'm confused about April's age. For some reason I heard/thought she was only 2 yrs younger than Elena (which is also the same age as Jeremy). Why would she have needed babysitting when Jeremy didn't?

Price's Questions: 1. Not sure yet. His invisible/mystery tattoo is definitely the most interesting thing about him so far. 2. Sure hope not. 3. Meh. 4. Neither? Not sure the last time this happened to me? Definitely never barfed blood.

Since it's late in the game, I won't be scrolling down to read other comments/rants. I love y'all, but you're also very exhausting.
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heart ya back :)
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I hear that. I was even later than you! I plan to scroll down to the button that says "load more comments" at least, though. Yours happened to appear early on :D.

I would like to add that St. Stefan (lol) is getting on MY nerves too! WHERE ARE KLAUS AND ELIJAH!? I know right, but let me add to that. WHERE IS REBEKAH! She's the best <3 haha
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The episode felt a little bit empy without them. I think we're so used to them being in every episode that when the Originals aren't in one, we suffer a little bit.
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100% agreed
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Two questions for commenters (though I already left a comment): 1. I thought the purpose of Tyler being shot was that he couldn't die because of his hybrid blood. Then Damon gets shot later and he's all right? 2. Though the gesture was kind, why did the [nearly all vamp] group send up lit lanterns above their outdoor/unprotected location? I'd think that'd be a rather red flag for Connor to stalk and eavesdrop. Granted, Tyler wasn't there to tip off the nature of the group, but still. Did anybody else think it seemed like an inadvertent signalling? haha. Thoughts? xxj
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I think Tyler went up saying to take one for the group because Connor already knew he was a supe, so he maybe expected to be shot?
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1. Damon's heart is two sizes too small, so Connor missed it.

2. Because (a) Stefan is irrational and (b) it made a nice tissue scene for the target demo. It was definitely a stupid thing to be doing for a lot of reasons, but only Damon recognized that.
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Damon is kinda like Shane was on TWD.. The only one with a lick of sense but nobody ever listens to them!
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Did I just watch a very good episode of TVD? I think I did! I love that you giffed vomit!Elena, Mr Peterson. You're the best! This recap made me snort multiple times, I think the Sheriff and the mayor are both awesome materials for many many lulz. I am loving Connor, I think he'll be a good addition to this show. Here's hoping he stays interesting and alive for a while.



- He's a good villain! He just wants to clean the village!

- Maybe?

- Ugh, this is what the world has come to. Mom being in the house while they were trying to do it? EW.

- I haaate vomitting omg. D: But I'm pretty good at it!
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http://fuckyeahsarry.tumblr.com/tagged/recap



forgot to link it, but here's my recap :D
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Hahah awesome recap!! Please keep on making them as long as TVD exists ;) I laughed loudly several times and felt like an idiot ;D
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hahahah I will :D although I'm going on a trip soon so i might miss 2 eps but then i'll do all 3 at once xD
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"Awww, here's a Cookie." my fave, thanks. :D
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lmao <3
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I hate voimiting but am good at keeping it in the toilet. haha

I was surprised that Elena only named a few to rest in peace, expected her guilt to be greater. She's always felt things were her fault, people's deaths and all. So many people just trying to protect her.

I am glad they acknowledge that they've dealt with a lot of death w/o proper grieving and stuff.

Also with that and mentioning that they were orphans, surprised but not surprised that child services haven't checked in with Elena and Jeremy and how they manage to make ends meet, and their parents/legal gaurdians have all died in like a 4/5yr span. Matt's alone but works and we're reminded that he has a "tough" human life sometimes.



Elena is adpating really fast. I mean in the beginning just Elena cutting her hand made Stephans eyes all dark and veiny, And Caroline, Vicki both killed their first victim uncontrollably. Yet she stopped feeding on mat without draining him, and though it'd been a week she just seemed hungry not like newbie starving "i might break your neck in the process"

Also is it just me or are the vampires on this show like the least skilled. They were all aware of hunter, Tyler knows what he smells and looks like, and I'm pretty sure they could all have moved fast enough to dodge a bullet. Or when Damon went to his car and ripped the door of instead of just smashing it and trapping him, or turning the hole car over...



And the idea that Elena being a doppelganger and it's effects on her being a vampire could easily be solved by having Katherine back.



Oh and the preachers letter makes me think that maybe when Alaric told him everything there was a mention about Esther and the otherside?
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I am super late with this, it was definitely NOT because I went home and got smashed at a wedding... Either way, I really enjoyed this episode and I would've enjoyed it even if it had been garbage for the first 30-odd minutes. That bit with Damon and Alaric killed me (love you still man!). Questions:

- He seems like he's got skills and know-how, but the whole bit in the church seemed sloppy, if he thinks that there's lots of vampires, why would he bait them when they're all in the same place? 1 man with some funny bullets < 5 million vampires

- I'm not entirely where you're getting the Dawn connection, though that is probably my bad, my mind is basically a sieve. I am intrigued by April though. Also, you indicated she's an obvious love interest for Jeremy, but in the first meeting didn't it seem like Matt was into her as well?

- I sort of feel bad, but we still got the obligatory Candice-Accola-in-underwear shot, so I'm cool with how the scene went down...

- I'm pretty good at vomiting, I've never once woke up with vomit on my clothes! Though it is sometimes on the floor...
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God I hated Dawn, hopefully April will be less awful :)



I liked the way Tyler was talking about taking one for the team... and then took one for the team so the rest wouldn't have to out themselves dealing with Connor.



Also, what's the big deal with Elena not feeding off a human because she would almost certainly kill her dinner? She was able to feed off Matt and not kill him without any difficulty?
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Just an observation, is it just me or have things gotten a wee bit more hostile in the comment section? I was skimming through a bit and yikes! Price works hard to post his recaps. Everyone doesn't have to agree or even like his style...sometimes I don't even agree with it all, but geez. And good natured teasing and humor is one thing, but some posters are being rude an antagonistic. A little peace, and a modicum of respect doesn't seem like too much to expect. Just...Keep Calm and Comment. Have fun.
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I read that as "Keep Calm and Comment On" :)
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add what you must babe! I like yours better. : )
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I am guilty of taking the troll bait this time...for shame :( I just get protective of my peeps.
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I knew Elena would go to Damon for help. I hope she realizes that if she had chose Damon, she would be alive, like really ALIVE. (I think it was a foreshadowing from all the previous episodes that Damon kept telling her "he would always choose her" and she blew him off like it was nothing.. now she's paying the price of her decision in not choosing him.)

If "Delena" doesn't happen, I will be mad, but really I just don't want Damon to be alone. :(

He deserves someone who loves him not just someone who constantly strings him along.



- okay rant over -



Loved the whole episode.. probably one of the best. (SO much better than the premiere)

Loved the supernatural teamwork.

Also, this episode had really great Delena Scenes ;)

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If he had switched places with Stefan and saved her instead of Matt, she would be alive, but she would hate Damon. I don't think they would end up together because Matt would have been dead to save Elena. So many people die for them to save Elena. Matt was also Elena's first love, you arent going to just fall for the person who let him die against your wishes.
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Exactly. Glad I'm not the only one who realized this. Elena may not be thrilled about being a vampire but she would've hated another person dying for her even more. Damon wouldn't have won Elena by saving her and letting Matt die. He would have lost her for good more likely. Because guess what? Love isn't selfish. Damon still hasn't learned that and shows no signs of learning that. And that coupled with Damon's lack of compassion and respect for life and Elena's wishes is why Stefan, in spite of all of his flaws and mistakes, will always be the better guy for Elena. Damon just doesn't get it and probably never will.
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Actually, wouldn't she still be dead, because the fact is Damon wasn't there. He was fighting Alaric who was trying to kill him. I understand where you are coming from though.
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LOVED seeing Alaric again. And I was very hopeful for a moment that he'd start talking to Damon and that Damon would hear him and that he'd be a ghost or something all season, but no such luck. Still, that was probably my favorite part of the really good episode.
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I agree but it was so much more poignant and sad that he didn't talk. Now I want to cry again.
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Tissue? Ben & Jerry's? Blanky? Two out of three worked for me.
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I will take all three please
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This episode was so much better than the premiere! Elena is still adapting too quickly, but atleast they showed the bloodlust (its entirely another issue when she didn't pounce on Matt when he was bleeding in the last episode). Hilarious recap! Good work, Price!
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