The Vampire Diaries: WORTH. THE. WAIT.

What, hello? Is this thing on? I haven't done this in so long, you guys! Halfway through last night's BRAND-NEW episode of The Vampire Diaries, I started to panic that I'd forget how to recap this show—or worse, that none of you would even remember who I was, not even my new-best-friend, Julie Plec [NO BIG DEAL]. Because seriously, that wait between new episodes was the WORST thing to happen to America since… Well, okay It wasn't as bad as Katrina, but it was close. Let's just say it ranks behind Katrina but above the Cuban Missile Crisis (zzzz). What I'm trying to say is, The Vampire Diaries ruined Christmas.

Last winter's midseason finale thrilled me for a few reasons: Tyler's pathos-packed werewolf transformation and Rose's terrifying mauling. Regarding the latter, I thought it was bold of the writers to assume we'd care about a new character's fate enough that it would make for a compelling cliffhanger. In the past, such a thing would've bugged me, but after getting caught up on a lot of Season 1, I've come to accept the super-short arcs most of this show's guest stars appear for, and I guess if we're going by Vampire Diaries years, Rose has been on the show for like eight seasons now. I'll say this for Rose (and it's a big compliment to Lauren Cohan), but I liked her immediately and still think she's one of the best characters this show's ever had. So the gamble of basing the winter hiatus cliffhanger on her fate? Totally worked.

So now that you know how much of a Rose fan I am, do we even NEED to talk about how devastated I am right now? I am SAD, you guys! I haven't been this sad since all of my horses jumped the fence and ran directly into the ocean. But I'm not mad, though, because what happened with Rose was thoughtful, beautiful, terrifying, tragic, and just good television. All the emotional moments were earned, and her death seemed to bring out a change in Damon we've never seen before. More on that later…

This episode was TERRIFIC. One of the best I've ever seen. I know I can be pretty harsh on this show sometimes, but this episode had everything. Let's talk about it.

We began in the woods, where a certain new-in-town, very bitey lady-werewolf woke up naked and caked with blood.

Oh, Jules! I think we've all woken up to this scenario before right? But yeah, it was pretty funny how she (a) managed to find a very hip, flattering outfit amongst the pile of severed limbs and (b) pretended to cry after a park ranger found her chillin' with a bunch of charred corpses.

I'm not an expert, but the fact that Jules is perfectly willing to murder a park ranger with a log means she's probably pretty dangerous. Up until that point I kind of found Jules pretty sympathetic (a wild-eyed vampire jerk murdered her boyfriend!), but it's kinda hard to feel for her after that.

Meanwhile, Elena popped by Stefan's house just in time to catch him between shirts. Stefan was a pretty minor character last night, so this was mostly about recapping Elena's plan to deal with Klaus by going along with Elijah. Or something? Who cares, because…

Elena was having a BLAST.

Stefan told Elena that he'd decided to go track down Elena's birth mom Isobel so he can ask her some questions about Klaus. Because Katherine told him to. Because this is not at all a weird or creepy thing to do.

Meanwhile Rose was NOT having a good time. Damon did his best to cheer her up. Her bite had weirdly migrated down her back even though she was bitten on the shoulder? It definitely looked painful, and you couldn't tell because it's television but I'm guessing it smelled BAD. The scene went like this, basically:

The writing was on the wall for Rose, so it was pretty nice to see Damon actually put some effort into saving her. Unfortunately it meant leaving Rose alone with Elena. I guess the antidote to a werewolf bite is BEING BORED?

Mystic Falls High School has VERY professional banners. At my high school, the cheerleaders used to fingerpaint on butcher paper until midnight and then the banners would STILL be full of misspelled words and covered with dusty footprints. What I'm trying to say is, the Mystic Falls boosters might be donating TOO MUCH money to the football team when the cash might be better spent on, you know, homicide detectives.

It was the day after Tyler's first-ever transmogrification and just like when a chick you have a crush on sees you naked and sobbing in a dungeon for the first time, things can be awkward at school the next day. Thankfully, Caroline and Tyler seemed pretty happy to see each other. Ever since these two started hanging out, Tyler's been slightly annoying—always distrustful or ungrateful toward Caroline's help. But he finally, FINALLY let on that he likes her and it was pretty darn cute.

It's just a great day for them, hopefully nothing will interrup—

Uh oh, it's a pile of mashed potatoes with no sense of social propriety!

Cringefest. CLEARLY Matt did not get the memo that Caroline doesn't want him OR his shirtless hugs anymore.

Back at Mystic Grill, Jules chatted up a dunce. I cannot believe this woman is still in charge of the town's safety. Easily ONE THIRD of the population has been murdered during the past four months and this lady still has a job? WHO is her supervisor? She BETTER NOT get a Christmas bonus this year.

Stefan sidled up to Alaric to get the phone number of his ex-wife-but-also-biological-mother-of-Elena-and-current-vampire-troublemaker Isobel. Again, definitely a reasonable request.

Hey look, it's Damon's room! Damon did a great job with it. And those sheets! I bet when Macy's asked him what threadcount he wanted, he just said "TONS."

Oh, and that bathroom? Divine. There's nothing that Damon loves more than just soakin' his bones after a long day of murdering everybody's friends. (I'm still sorta mad about Lexi).

Elena looked amazed to be in Damon's inner sanctum. His room is DEFINITELY better than Stefan's.

Are you kidding me, Vampire Diaries? This was on Damon's beside table. Sure.

Rose was all curled up in Damon's bed and it wasn't long before she started slipping in and out of lucidity. She reminisced about her pastoral English upbringing and then started calling for Trevor, her dead vampire "friend" whose head got karate-chopped off by Elijah.

It was all pretty poignant until the blood vomit. The best part of this was how Elena shouted "Everything's gonna be all right!" and then ran into the bathroom and wet a napkin.

That is definitely the best solution for someone vomiting blood.

But then Rose—totally delirious—mistook Elena for Katherine and ATTACKED her.

It was a quick and scary standoff, but Rose finally came to her senses and apologized. At this point I wasn't sure whether Rose would actually die or not, but then she began saying some poignant things about her life as a vampire, what it means to be human, etc. and it was clear she was not going to survive this episode.

[British accent] "When you live long enough, everything disappears… So much time wasted. I just wish I hadn't been so afraid." —Rose

Now, I am a grown-up and I don't wear Converse All-Stars, but someone please hand me a pair and give me a ballpoint pen, because I want to WRITE HER DIALOGUE on the white rubber parts. Oh man, so poignant. Also, I'll say it again, Lauren Cohan is a genuinely great actress and this was the first of a few times in this episode where I started getting kinda misty-eyed.

Damon tried to make a deal with Jules to somehow undo Rose's bite, but she told him off good. Don't get me wrong, I am super mad at this lady for biting Rose (POOR ROSE!) but still, Jules's reasons for attacking Damon seem pretty justified to me. Mason may have been a total bro-tard, but he didn't deserve to have his heart ripped out by some makeup-wearing jerk clown.

Rose's condition only worsened, and she attacked Elena AGAIN. She didn't snap out of it this time, and the tussle became brutal.

First Elena FLASHED her with sunlight.

Then Elena even jammed her little fingers into Rose's wound. That's some prison-yard stuff right there! I was like, "Dang."

Then we paused for a mashed-potato break. Oh great, Matt, Caroline, and Tyler are officially in this show's first-ever love triangle. Just kidding, EVERYONE is in at least two love triangles as we speak. I feel bad for Mashed Potatoes, but come on. Who DOESN'T want to see a vampire-werewolf relationship? Boring Matt just cannot compete with a werewolf! If he wants to win Caroline over, he needs to become a supernatural creature. Heck, he already LOOKS like a ghost. (Racial)

Every time Elena picked up a stake to protect herself, I was hoping, PRAYING that she'd trip and fall on it. In this scene, she even pointed it in the right direction.

By the way, what a weird "Booster Barbeque." How long's this thing been going on for? Six hours? And nobody's wasted?

Some randoms got killed. They were pretty stoked to get ACTUAL dialogue beforehand, but much like the janitor from moments earlier, they existed just so that Rose could go on her VAMPIRE RABIES RAMPAGE.

Luckily, Damon swooped in and brought her back to reality.

She seemed pretty ashamed about what she'd done, explaining that she'd never tried to hurt humans.

How sad was it when she was sobbing, "Make it stop" over and over? Hecka sad.

Damon carried her home, possibly a callback to when he carried her out of the sun-drenched coffee shop that one time. Damon carrying Rose somewhere gets me every time. I'm so lonely.

Ugh, again. Praying for uneven pavement. Loose gravel, maybe. Something.

Thankfully somebody cleaned the gunk off of Rose's mouth, lips, cheeks, teeth, neck, and face, and she had some more warm, poignant, and relevant words for Damon and Elena. "You're a feeling human being" to him, and "Don't give up the fight" to her. I'm paraphrasing, but trust me, it was way better when Rose said it (British accent).

Whoops! Caroline's world just got A LOT more confusing. Love triangles can be so tiresome, but I have to admit, I'm really digging what this love triangle represents. She probably does love BOTH of them, but each one belongs to a different phase of her life. Matt's human, Tyler's a monster. It's almost like whoever she chooses, she's also choosing that aspect of herself to win out. I think that's a pretty sophisticated metaphor, and yeah Tyler is definitely the winner of the two (Spandex), but I definitely understand why Caroline would awkwardly shout, "People need to stop kissing me!" before running inside. Angst 101.

Okay. So. Here's some good TV. I feel weird even trying to sum it up because it's making me all emotional just thinking about it. Earlier, Rose mentioned how she longed for her childhood home, its green fields and horses, and how she missed the feeling of being human (500+ years ago).

So, by influencing her dreams, Damon gave it all back to her.

See what I'm saying? I am crying while I type this. Goodbye, Rose! You got a raw deal, but you're a big reason why Season 2 is so great. I truly hope Lauren Cohan goes on to do other awesome projects. (Death Race 2 does NOT count.)

So after that, we revisited Jules, who was STILL hanging out at Mystic Grill. (I bet the waiters were pissed!) She had some harsh news for Tyler: She knows he's a werewolf, his Uncle Mason is dead, Caroline is partly responsible, and oh yeah, there are TONS of other vampires. This made me laugh out loud, because seriously? Tyler didn't know that? Come on, Tyler.

Jules mentioned something pretty ominous: "There are others like us, and they're on their way." Hopefully the werewolf army will arrive in time to battle Klaus. I like where this season is heading, you guys, and I LOVE that Caroline and Tyler might become the Romeo and Juliet of Mystic Falls. Matt's totally Paris. Which is weird, because that's who Jules looks like. Hilton. Nevermind.

Elena tried to get Damon to talk about his feelings, but in return she got a full blast of EYE ACTING.

When she forced a hug onto him it was clear something had broken in him. In most vampire soap operas, it's pretty difficult to keep claiming that vampires don't have emotions when they are constantly doing emotional things. But in this case, Rose's death really DID seem to have a cracked his foppish, jerky facade a bit.

Oh, and then Stefan reappeared in Elena's house and he must've stepped in something on his way in because...

Ugh, this guy's back. Elena's dastardly uncle and biological father (don't ask). They didn't show his hands, so I guess we'll have to wait until next week to get a finger count.

The final scene began with a nod to the pilot: a car stopping to check on a man lying prone in the road. That man was, of course, Damon. But instead of being simply a bloodthirsty bringer of horrors, this time he was drunk and emotionally wrecked.

He was so pathetic and in need of confessing that he compelled the poor woman to stand in place and listen to his existentialist ramblings. It was a sad, scary scene—the guy really seemed to be struggling with his identity, like for centuries he's been perfectly fine as a murderous jerk, but now he's not so sure that's how he is. Why didn't he just tell her that he's reading Gone With the Wind?

Oops, sorry lady. Better luck next time.

So I'm REALLY into the extreme angst of the past few episodes. It makes me feel sorta bad for being so harsh on this show all the time. For all its surface level slickness and teen machine contrivances, it's got a big, vulnerable heart deep down. Or maybe I am just a sucker for grown adults sobbing in anguish. Either way, I used to enjoy this show because it's ridiculous and nice to look at. But now I might actually care about these people. These fictional people. These fictional monster people. (Not Elena).

Great job, everyone!


QUESTIONS:

... Tyler or Matt?

... Is Jules super evil or do you kind of understand where she's coming from?

... Do you think Rose's death might've changed Damon permanently?

... Have you ever had rabies?

Comments (90)
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Just found your recaps last night and have already got up to here! Love the show and your take on it especially your names for Matt, Sheriff Forbes and Alaric. I'm totes Team Tyler, Jules is totes scary but being a werewolf would be hard, Rose was awesome and she's changed Damon and no on the rabies!
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How can I read all these reviews ? Any link ,any help? They are effing hilarious .. ;)
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I only really started getting into Vampire Diaries at the end of season two so I'm reading back on all of these to get the low down. I love them so much that they have become part of the show to me. I can't watch an episode and then not read the recap otherwise it doesn't feel complete! Well done sir and carry on!
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Tyler, do you even have to ask?; she's dead now; es, I think Rose really made an impact on Damon; no, lol.
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HAHAHA!!! Come on, Elena's not THAT bad!! lol. Ok, maybe she'll get better.
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Damon lying in the road was probably also a nod to Katherine. She was the first to teach him that trick. (Episode Children of the Damned, I believe.) Back to the evil basics. Woohoo!
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Damn Price, your reviews are probably the most hilarious!!!
I've just gone through all you TVD stuff, awsome job, especially with the pictures and the contless fangtastic comments

"But the sheets" had me laughing for full five minutes
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Tyler...Jules is a b**** not just super evil!

Rose\'s death was abt to change Damon but he caught himself at the last second and resumed being the bad brother.

no never had rabies and thank God.

Stefan always had a tattoo..i noticed second episode first season,its a rose Tattoo.
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In the beginning, when Stefan shares a shirtless hug with Elena, I noticed his tattoo. When did he get that? Why haven't I seen it before? Can vampires even get tattoos?
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most definately Tyler, jules is super evil.. come on man, she didn't have to kill that cop or park ranger guy.. whatever he was... yep, i think Damon is gonna be bad now... His heart keeps getting stepped on... I love how his eyes get all crazy sometimes... NO RABBIES FOR THIS GIRL... LATER!
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Great review... made me laugh out loud a few times... I love your part bout Elena holding the dagger towards her self and falling on it! She is sooo annoying to watch sometimes.. love this show.. and i must say last weeks episode was actually pretty darn good.. I too will miss Rose.. funny stuff!
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I don't know why I watch this show the teenage angst makes me roll my eyes and groan, I guess i'm just a sucker for the vampire schtick. At least Elena seems more likable than the book version, I wanted to reach through my kobo and throttle her. I'd like to see a Tyler/Caroline hook up, but give me a Tyler/Caroline/Jeremy love triangle. Matt is dull and way too sweet to be anything but some characters future victim. Stefan is no match for Damon and the original script (novels) be damned but its only matter of time till we have Damon/Elena twisted relationship angst fest on our screens. Without Ian Somerhalder and his eye balling acting I don't know that i'd be that enthralled with the show *sigh* Rose was lovely, she will be missed. Bring on the twilight like vamp/wolf showdown
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Tyler for sure, and lets kill Matt! I hate Jules, one word, ROSE! :( Though, I like the idea of a werewolves army it will be awesome... Again, ROSE :( :'( :"( and if it wasnt for Damon's our burst I would probably stop watching the show starting this ep, it was good, have to admit, but ROSE!!!! :( They took away my fave character in this show :"( ... I hope the next ep will be as good, and I really want to say welcome back badass Damon. It was hard but maybe they will bring Rose back??? :( ROSE :"(
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I have to Two (2) things to say here, possibly something more.

1. Can we say we don't really care for Elena much (according this article's author).
2. Who needs to watch the entire episode when you have it completely spelled out for you WITH SCREENSHOTS & EPISODE INFORMATION. (Can we possibly say SPOILERS AHEAD for those who haven't see the episode?)

And I guess 3. I'm totally with you about Elena - she had her problems in this episode. Maybe she'll become more lovable later on when she's in the thralls of Elijah...hehe
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LOL, love it, Matt as mashed potatoes, have never liked him. This is my favorite ep and Fain and Craft wrote an awesome show, would hate to be the next writer trying to top this one. Damon offering Jessica his flask and the "this won't make me adopt a PUPPY" were very good. I think I cried the last 20 minutes of this ep and every time I have watched it...Now only 5 new eps then a 5 week wait, what is with this? This was WORTH THE WAIT. RIP Rose.
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Your recaps are awesome.
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TYLER+cAROLINE!!!!!!!!!!!! always :x:x:x
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ive read this like 20 times and it makes me laugh every time good job!
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Great recap, just hilarious!! I like Matt, he also seems to get the short end of the pointy stick most of time although Tyler also got really likeable this season. I'm not that bothered with Elena, but I get why some people might be, she is kinda the 'control' human if you will. But she is motivation for a lot of characters so she is necessary.
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Best TV.com article in a long time.
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That was a great review! You are so right about the triangle of Mat-Caroline-Tyler and all the staff about Damon. I think Tyler is the one that Caroline will choose, after everything they\'ve been through they have so much in common now. Jules... I hate that **** but is a fresh character and will be good for a show to have her now when Katherine is off the lights for a few episodes... and I kind a understand her. Her friend was killed for a selfish reasons. I think Damon will definitely change and for a while will be the old evil/good Damon who\'s act impulsively and without any care.
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I missed reading these, thank you for the good laugh! :D
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So,umm...you're showing us the whole episode in pictures.Riiiight.Great stuff.
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Sark's back! yaay!
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I say Tyler. Matt and Caroline had their chance. It's time for something NEW. Jules, I don't much care about her character. Rose's death definately changed Damion, but he won't let on that it has. He'll keep being ruthlessly evil, RABIES?! If you HAD it you'd have to get like 20 shots in your stomach! Thank God never had THAT! Poor Old Yeller. Now THAT's a sad rabies story!
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1.Tyler! I want the vampire/werewolf thing
2. I understood where Jules was coming from until she killed the park ranger for no good reason now I am sure she is just super evil.
3. I don't think we have seen the full change of Damon yet but things like that stick with you so I think yeah he is changed forever.
4. Um...no
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oh how I have missed your colorful recaps!! what a great episode. Everything with Damon and Rose was beautiful and heartbreaking. Hopfully his newly discovered and now broken heart doesn't toss him totally over the edge.
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Great review as always! 1. not even a contest, Tyler. 2. Hate Jules. 3. In a way 4. Only on Fridays (because I have to wait a full week until TVD returns)
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Matt.

Jules is a Super B*T*H

No

Sure, daily.
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Tyler, I want to understand where Jules coming from but evil and for Damon he's slightly bipolar so he"ll maybe come down from the depression with at the expense of Elena action. And LOL to your last question. p.s. right after I watched this episode I was like have to go check tv.com for your review of the episode, u haven't lost your touch but glad u starting to like it a bit more but so harsh to Elena (I have to remember just fictional) lol
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Great review!! I missed TVD so much, I'm so glad it's back!

(1) A few months ago I never thought I'd say this but Tyler!!!!! As you said...Matt is Paris lol And Tyler and Caroline have such an interesting relationship. (2) Arg I don't know.... she's just ANNOYING (3) Yes! Hope so. (4) Luckly no lol
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I'd like to start by saying - OMG! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your recap - the captions with your own phrases - PRICELESS! Now to answer your questions: Tyler or Matt? TYLER

... Is Jules super evil or do you kind of understand where she's coming from? Vamps need to drop a 'hoe! I think she's way more experienced than Mason was and the vamps of Mystic Falls are in for some trouble. ... Do you think Rose's death might've changed Damon permanently? Absolutely! It made him come to terms with what he's been denying since turning in 1864. ... Have you ever had rabies? Gonna go with no on this one.
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First off all welcome back! Second, great episode to continue this season, I really like the direction it's heading can't wait for next week!
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Tyler
super evil
no
no....
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I love this! I look for it after every episode!
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Matt all the way. Tyler is the king of douches. He was mackin' on Matt's sister. Then he tried to get with his mom. Now he's going to steal Caroline away from him? Totally not cool, bro(even if Matt is boring right now). Jules wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't killed that ranger guy. The Rose attack I can understand(even though I hate her for it). WE MISS YOU ALREADY ROSE!
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You are amazing! I couldn't stop laughing while reading this! You rock my socks :P Brilliant!

1. Tyler
2. Super evil
3. Yes
4. LMAO, no
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I actually agree with every point you've made in your review and I cried the moment Damon held Rose in his arms and had to "pull the plug", didn't think I could shed a tear but I did, can't wait for next week! OH and I love your review! Got weird looks from my sisters from the random laughter I keep spouting as I read your review, its awesome! Can't wait to read next week's!
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First off..."Then we paused for a mashed-potato break." HAHAHAHA! This is why I love you!
1)Tyler! 2) Jules is the devil! 3) Only the vampire kind. ;)
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1) Tyler, eyes close! 2) Jules is a werewolf, neither good nor evil, but ready to avenge the death of one of her own. 3) Definetely: Rose has that effect on men and Damon in particular.
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i always look forward to read these articles so funny ^^
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By the way I apologize for the lack of paragraphs and spacing in my reply apparently they don't post the way I type them up?
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Price Peterson I have three words for you: I Adore You.
You articulate everything that I think about the show and I just joined tv.com's members, so I could respond to this review. You're brilliant and your review makes me laugh and reminisce about all the great moments I was privy to last night. (Yes I had to wait an extra 24hours to watch it, tragic I know)
I also completely agree with you that Rose, much like Lexi, was a character that was too short lived. They were amazing and brought much to the show. I truly hoped that both would have lasted longer. As you are such a Lauren Cohan fan I'm wondering how much you loved her character in Supernatural? Also a role that (in my opinion) was too short lived. Although I definitely like her hair better then.
I think you're a fantastic writer and I lok forward to your next review!
In answer to your questions:
1. My heart goes out to Matt because I really feel like he needs to catch a break, but I vote Tyler for all the supernatural reasons and the fact that it helps Caroline to accept her new life.
2. While I do understand where Jules is coming from, I feel like she has hidden evil purposes that will later reveal themselves and she will turn out to be the proverbial Darth Vadar as opposed to the wise Yoda.
3. I think Rose has more of an impact on Damon than even he realizes at this point because he actually allowed himself to become close with her and feel (almost) human again. I think this theme of Damon's humanity is going to pivotal in the next couple episodes and possibly change his character forever.
4. Definitely never had rabies, unless you include the way I feel rabid when I have to wait two months between episodes!! I mean are you kidding me? Fill the space and make it a 40 episode season! lol. Side note: Scary rabies movie was "Quarantine" I mean that was just messed up!
Look forward to hearing more from you!
More+
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... Tyler all the way.
... she's just pure evil.
... Into the 'bad boy/dont want anyone to know my true feellings' kinda guy? yes.
... I'm gonna pass on this one. lol
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Great episode and Great review...I also felt horrible about Rose death. Can't wait to see next week episode.
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man... i used to enjoy your reviews because they were somewhat fun and smart. but now i might actually care about them. :D
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A great review, very funny :)
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*boy
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no reason to feel bad about your change of heart, TVD really up'd its game last night and took a firm step outside the circle of 'teen drama'. IF they keep going in this direction they might just be headed for fullout Buffy-dom, college courses, books analyzing' damon's redemtion... oh buy. this is my favorite review todate, guess i like you best when your happy :) I bet L.J smith liked this ep...
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Lol one of your best recaps ever!!!! The part about how the sheriff still has her job made me roll over from laughing so hard. I gotta ask though, am I the only one who thought the acting of Tyler, Matt and Caroline on this episode was horrible?? the scenes with Rose on the other hand were excellent and balanced it out. all in all very good episode.
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