The Voice: Ladies and Gentlemen, Here Are Your Top 12

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The Voice S03E21: “The Live Playoffs, Results”

The Voice’s first round of live eliminations was full of surprises. PLEASANT surprises, even! My precious didn’t quite make the cut, but Nicholas David did in all his bearded glory. Adam told the screaming horde that seems to follow him everywhere to shut up, and it was so satisfying. WE GET IT. HE’S PRETTY.

What’s the current Maroon 5 demographic anyway? I want to say “high school girls” but Maroon 5 were kind of a big deal when I was in high school (“She Will Be Loved” spoke to my deep 15-year-old angst), and unlike most of the bands I liked back in the dark ages, I don’t think they’ve evolved like, at all since then. So I’m just curious about who their fans are. I mean, I don’t NOT like Maroon 5, but I don’t go out of my way to listen to them, either. I've briefly considered buying tickets to one of their upcoming concerts, but I’m not entirely sure why, and I assure you it wasn’t to pee my pants in Adam Levine’s presence.

Anyway, it just amuses me when anyone tries to pretend that The Voice is SRS BSNS and not just another completely shallow reality talent show.

Here are the Top 12 heading into the next phase of self-flagellation. I mean, competition.


TEAM ADAM

Saved by America:
Amanda Brown (That was a given.)
Bryan Keith (Really?)

Saved by Adam:
Melanie Martinez (MAKE HER SING “FEVER.” IT WILL BE AWESOME.)

Eliminated:
Loren Allred
Joselyn Rivera


TEAM BLAKE

Saved By America:
Terry McDermott (Obviously.)
Cassadee Pope (I see the Hey Monday fans got out the vote... but are there still Hey Monday fans?)

Saved by Blake:
Michaela Paige (NOT LIZ DAVIS? WHAT? IS THIS REAL LIFE? SOMEBODY PINCH ME.)

Eliminated:
Liz Davis
Julio Cesar Castillo


TEAM XTINA *

Saved by America: Dez Duron (Ugh.)
Sylvia Yacoub (Cool.)

Saved by Xtina:
Adriana Louise (Shrug.)

Eliminated:
De'Borah
Devyn DeLoera

* a.k.a. “Team Boring Pretty People”


TEAM CEE LO

Saved by America:
Trevin Hunte (It’s gonna be a Trevin Hunte/Amanda Brown showdown in the finals. I’m calling it.)
Nicholas David (TEAM WEIRD BEARD. <3)

Saved by Cee Lo:
Cody Belew (Not MacKenzie Bourg, but I’ll get over it.)

Eliminated:
Diego Val
MacKenzie Bourg


Based on the final three contestants in each group, my Team Power Rankings are as follows:

4. Team Christina
3. Team Blake
2. Team Cee Lo
1. Team Adam


How would YOU rank them?