There’s been quite the outcry over the bountiful boobage Christina Aguilera flaunted during her performance of “Make the World Move” with Cee Lo Green last night. I feel like I’m the only person on the internet at the moment who doesn’t think it was that bad. I’m not a big fan of slut-shaming and frankly, if Xtina wants to wear a bustier that is clearly incapable of modestly dressing her rack, then so be it. The only time I’ve really given her cleavage a second thought was during certain blind auditions, because you could honest-to-God watch them gradually migrate out of the position she or her stylist had carefully placed them in prior to the start of taping. I mean, the blind auditions aren’t live. We know they aren’t live. The Voice doesn’t even try to pretend that they’re live. Are you telling me that someone couldn’t have called for a break to let Xtina readjust?
That’s pretty much all I have to say about Aguilera’s assets, but here, judge for yourself:
I even liked the new single, and I was wholly prepared not to like it because, well, it’s a Christina Aguilera single. IDK. It was a weird week for me on The Voice.
America has spoken and sent two additional contestants home. Unlike in previous seasons, the eliminations going forward are pretty much a free-for-all. Rather than eliminate the bottom performers from each individual team, The Voice has adopted the practice of eliminating the bottom performers... period. Theoretically, one judge could take all three of his or her remaining team members to the finals while another could take zero, which is AWESOME. Everyone is forced to be their best at all times. It’s no longer enough to be the best on Team Adam or Team Blake. You have to be the best of everyone.
Team Blake and Team Christina suffered the first cuts of the new approach—and I am not surprised. After a mediocre cover of Pink’s “Blow Me (One Last Kiss),” Team Blake’s teenage rocker Michaela Paige got the boot, along with Team Christina’s Adriana Louise, who failed to gain much momentum with her Carrie Underwood cover, despite getting a little too up-close-and personal with Adam Levine during her performance.
Of the ten remaining contestants, here’s how I would rank them:
10. Bryan Keith (Team Adam)I just don’t get the appeal. He’s a perfectly capable singer, but he’s BORING.
9. Dez Duron (Team Xtina)Okay, this one I kind of get because he’s like, totally hot in that boring cookie-cutter boy-band kind of way. Still, his performances put me to sleep.
8. Cassadee Pope (Team Blake)I haven’t been a fixture on the Pope party bus all season long and her take on Kelly Clarkson this week didn’t do much to sway me.
7. Melanie Martinez (Team Adam)
After last week’s awesome “Hit the Road, Jack” cover, it was right back to the coffeehouse routine with “Cough Syrup.” BUT AT LEAST SHE ISN’T BORING.
6. Sylvia Yacoub (Team Xtina)I generally like Sylvia Yacoub, but I honestly don’t know if I liked her “My Heart Will Go On” cover, so I’m going to stash her here in the middle until I see more.
5. Nicholas David (Team Cee Lo)I keep waiting for America to get sick of Team Weird Beard because I’m a cynical bastard, but I’m always delighted when he makes the cut and I’m proven wrong. His Huey Lewis cover was a nice step back from the “baby-makin’ music” and just a lot of fun.
4. Cody Belew (Team Cee Lo)Belew’s musical tastes have been eclectic and he’s held his own with almost everything he’s been handed. I’m actually genuinely curious about what his original stuff would sound like. I’m also fond of sequined lapels.
3. Amanda Brown (Team Adam)Much like Cody Belew, Amanda Brown is crazy versatile. With that said, I prefer rock-star Brown to belting Brown and she seemed more at ease performing Aerosmith than she did singing Florence + the Machine. I also think that we’re at the point in the competition where it would be wisest for the judges to let their team members sing what they feel most comfortable with. Adam said that they needed to show America that Brown can do more than rock, but what was wrong with her rocking? She was awesome at it. I’m all for pushing team members out of their comfort zones early in the game—it's necessary to divide the good from the great—but at this point, just let Amanda Brown be Amanda Brown.
2. Terry McDermott (Team Blake)
Team Blake excels at nailing down “who” and “what” they are. Terry McDermott came into The Voice as “the rocker” from the very beginning and he’s consistently churned out fantastic takes on classic rock tunes. His cover of Boston’s “More than a Feeling” was no exception.
1. Trevin Hunte (Team Cee Lo)Between Nicholas David’s leisure suits, Cody Belew’s lapels, and Trevin Hunt’s studded bow-tie, I’ve decided to declare Team Cee Lo the winners of my unofficial The Voice fashion show. Clearly, they are taking clues from their peacock-feathered and leopard-print-kimono-clad master. OH AND THEY CAN SING TOO. Cee Lo may lament the lack of foxy ladies on his team this season, but he has a solid block of talent to be proud of, with Trevin Hunte leading the way week after week.
How would you rank the remaining contestants?