You can try and avoid it, but it’s impossible to deny: wedding fever has well and truly struck Britain. Royal merchandise (mostly of the ridiculous kind) is being flogged in our shops, while “celebratory” TV specials are quickly filling our programming schedules. There are channels you can turn to if you wish to evade Prince William and Kate’s big day, but there are plenty more sharing in the celebrations. Whatever your feelings we’ve got you covered; with our extensive Royal Wedding what-to-watch-and-not-watch guide.
50 Greatest Wedding Shockers (E4, 9pm)
Let’s face it, traditional weddings can get samey after a while. It’s refreshing, then, when you get to share a wedding day (or 50) with couples doing something totally different for their big day. Here, E4 run down the wackiest wedding ideas from naked nuptials to TV-themed ceremonies.
William and Kate: The Movie (Channel 5, 3.55pm)
If the trailer is anything to go buy this trashy American movie is going to be a laugh-a-minute romp, for all the wrong reasons. The TV movie, inspired by the royal wedding, gives a fictional retelling of the nine-year courtship between Kate Middleton and Prince William.
Meet The Middletons (More4, 9pm)
If you didn’t manage to catch this insightful Channel 4 documentary early last week, here it is again. Meet Kate Middletons’ extended family and find out who’ll be joining Prince William’s new family tree.
The best channel to avoid coverage today is BBC2. As well as lots of sports and Easter specials, there’s the start of David Tennant’s new drama United about the 1958 Munich air disaster.
When Royals Wed (BBC One, 9am)
Larry Lamb and Lesley Garrett rummage through the BBC’s archives to bring us this four-part historical series, which investigates the changes in Royal weddings from the Victorian era to the present day.
The Royal Wedding Crashers (Channel 4, 10.35pm)
There’s been a lot of hype surrounding Prince William and Kate’s upcoming wedding, let Channel 4 break down the build-up for you in their signature light-hearted way.
The best channel to avoid coverage today is Comedy Central. No big days, just big laughs from shows such as South Park and Scrubs.
Kate Middleton (Bio, 6pm)
Can you guess what this show is all about? Yep, that’s right, it’s an hour-long documentary profiling the bride-to-be’s life.
When Kate Met William: A Tale of Two Lives (ITV1, 9pm)
ITV charts Prince William and Kate Middleton’s lives from birth to engagement. It aims to explain exactly how their romance came to be, essentially outlining what Kate and William: The Movie got wrong.
The best channel to avoid coverage today is FX. American sci-fi and legal dramas make up the bulk of the days programming, then there’s a new episode of The Listener at 9pm and an Arrested Development double-bill from 10pm.
How to Marry a Prince (Sky Living, 8pm)
The guide every young girl is supposed to want: how to nab your very own prince charming. The four-part series, which began last week, continues with lessons in etiquette and wedding dress selection.
William and Kate: Romance and the Royals (Channel 4, 9pm)
It’s every girls dream, no? An ordinary girl meets a Prince, falls in love, and lives happily ever after. Historian David Starkey investigates how many Royals have wed “commoners” over the years, and what it means for our national heritage.
The best channel to avoid coverage today is 5 USA. You couldn’t get less romantic than The Walking Dead, Justified and CSI.
William and Kate: In Their Own Words (ITV1, 7.30pm)
The Royal couple don’t have as much involvement with this documentary as the title suggests. Instead, Tom Bradby, the man chosen by the couple to conduct their engagement interview--the only one they’ve given together so far--gives an insight into his conversation with them.
My Big Fat Royal Gypsy Wedding (Channel 4, 9pm)
Kate and William aren’t the only ones planning a big, broadcast-able wedding this week. Over on Channel 4, the Gypsy wedding of the year is being orchestrated. If the series, from which this special blossomed, is anything to go by you can expect massive light-up dresses and bright pink limousines. Now you won’t see THAT tomorrow.
The best channel to avoid coverage today is Syfy. There’s no mention of the wedding during any of the channel’s daytime shows and a new episode of V airs at 9pm.
Live Coverage (All day)
Full coverage can be found on most news channels and on ITV1 and BBC One almost all day. ITV’s ad break-free coverage runs from 6am until late; BBC One’s kicks off at 8am, and finishes at 10pm; meanwhile, Sky Living, is showing the main highlights from the arrivals at 10am to the end of the wedding procession at 1pm.
The Simpsons (Sky1, 6.30pm)
Repeats of the cartoon series’ wedding episodes (My Big Fat Geek Wedding and Wedding For Disaster) are aired to celebrate the Royal’s big day. In them, Mrs Krabappel calls off her wedding to Principal Skinner and Homer proposes to Marge for a second time.
The Middle (Sky1, 7.30pm)
It’s not just British folk who are excited about the Royal Wedding, in America Frankie Heck gets so excited she encourages her family to commemorate the occasion too.
Come Dine with Me Royal Wedding Special (Channel 4, 8pm)
In a large-scale twist to the usual format, four strangers from different parts of the country compete by hosting royal wedding-themed street parties for up to 40 (yes, 40) guests.
Don’t Tell the Bride (BBC Three, 10.30pm)
Never before has Don’t Tell the Bride been aired live... until today. Emma and Aysin share their big day with Will and Kate and, as well as showing us the run-up to the wedding, BBC Three will also be presenting llive from their wedding reception by Cherry Healey. What can go wrong?
The best channel to avoid coverage today is Sky Atlantic. On it, the second season of In Treatment starts at 9pm and, during the wedding, Star Trek and ER repeats will be shown.