Top 10: Talentless Talent Show Contestants

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10. Derrick Barry
Granted, his dancing wasn't bad for a man in high heels, but can the performance of a routine already perfected in the bedrooms of most Britney fans be classed as a talent worthy of a million dollars? We're not so sure.

9. The MacDonald Brothers
Louis Walsh bigged up these limp Scotts but sensible Simon stayed resolutely dismissive, describing their version of We Are Sailing as "verging on insane." Infuriatingly, the MacBlands made it into fourth place.

8. Sanjaya Malakar
Think back to American Idol '07 and shiver as you recall this resolutely upbeat but hopeless hopeful. Poor Sanjaya couldn't cut it vocally so resorted to entertaining us by changing his hairstyle every week.

7. Chico Slimani
It was Sharon Osbourne who fell for this over-egoed competitor. Simon Cowell famously stropped off when the others voted him through to boot camp. But Mr Nasty made time for Chico when he proved he could entertain.

6. Floral Highnotes
She was an opera singer and he, a professional florist, and together they showed "the synergy between music and flowers". Ahem. Though they were both talented in their own ways, combined they made the oddest pairing on any reality show we've ever seen. How they made it to the semi-final of Britain's Got Talent we'll never know.

5. Indiggo
Meet America's Got Talent's answer to the Cheeky Girls. The Bucharest-born twins set judge David Hasselhoff's loins on fire with their pouting and butt wiggling. Somehow he was able to overlook the hideous singing.

4. Todd Carty
The appalling Dancing on Ice contestant couldn’t control his blades and could barely stay upright. Ironically, Todd once zoomed off stage accidentally as he and long-suffering partner Susie danced to The Beatles' Help.

3.Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Tara's distracting dance routines went some way to make up for her lack of voice on Comic Relief Does Fame Academy, but we're still not sure how she managed to win the whole competition! The socialite would have made it higher up this list if she wasn't disgracing herself for charity.

2. The Cheeky Girls
Popstars: The Rivals spawned Girls Aloud, plus this other girl band. Romanian twin horrors Gabriella and Monica attempted to woo the judges with their preposterous ditty, The Cheeky Song. Unfathomably, it was a hit.

1. John Sergeant
The oafish newsreader went for it on Strictly Come Dancing but never could conquer the fancy footwork. But we loved watching him murder the steps so eventually Serg resigned to avoid winning.

Can you think of anyone more deserving for our talentless top slot? Speak out below!

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