Torchwood: Miracle Day, Dr. Who, and Breaking Bad

Summer's winding down but it's not too late to start some new, last-minute summer traditions! For instance, just this morning I started a summer tradition of throwing grapefruits in my neighbor's pool. Maybe later today I'll start a summer tradition of burying myself in the ball pit at McDonalds and falling asleep! What will YOUR last-minute summer traditions be?? Think it over while you watch all this television:

What to watch on Friday, August 26...

Torchwood: Miracle Day

Rhett & Link: Commercial Kings
It's been a short but consistently terrific season, and as the adage goes, all short but consistently terrific things must come to an end. Tonight the guyz (Rhett & Link) produce an advertisement for a designated driver service geared towards inebriated Las Vegas residents.

10pm, Syfy
When a mysterious drowning accident leads Agent Parker to a sinister family compound out in the boonies, she uncovers a fairly terrible situation involving missing children and uncooperative creeps. Just another day in the nation's worst town.

10pm, Starz
Torchwood: Miracle Day
Jack has an alarming run-in with someone he believed was dead, plus Rex busies himself with nothing less than the salvation of society. It's not yet clear how a sex scene will factor in, but isn't that just how life is?

10pm, Investigation Discovery
Deadly Women
I don't want to start a flame war down there in the comments or whatever, but I'm going to say something controversial: I think murder is wrong. I don't think anybody should be doing it, and that includes women. Unfortunately there's a gaggle of women out there who do not agree with me and they went and murdered people and now there's a whole SHOW about it. Anyway, there's a new episode of this on tonight and it's all about women who murdered their husbands. I just cannot TSK-TSK emphatically enough, you guys. Cool it with the murdering!

12:37am, CBS
Shirley Manson on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
If you were a teenager in the '90s, Shirley Manson probably loomed large in your pop culture world. Garbage was and is a terrific band, and they're making a new album right now! Isn't that great? Maybe she'll talk about it when she's on Ferguson tonight! Sing on, you creepy beauty.

Friends With Benefits, 8 & 8:30 p.m., NBC
Wizards of Waverly Place, 8 p.m., Disney
ThunderCats, 8:30 p.m., Cartoon Network
Dateline NBC, 9 p.m., NBC
Karaoke Battle USA, 9 p.m., ABC
Man vs. Wild, 9 p.m., Discovery
Phineas & Ferb, 9 p.m., Disney
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC
Rat Busters NYC, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Strike Back, 10 p.m., Cinemax
Surviving the Cut, 10 p.m., Discovery
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Anime Iron Man, 11 p.m., G4
Whisker Wars, 11 p.m., IFC
Anime Wolverine, 11:30 p.m., G4

What to watch on Saturday, August 27...

Dr. Who

Doctor Who
In the delightfully titled "Let's Kill Hitler," Doctor Who meets the titular tyrant when he travels to 1930s Berlin. Unfortunately there's another more dangerous entity on the loose, which seriously gets in the way of killing Hitler. Just remember to kill Hitler, you guys!

Killer Mountain
In Syfy's newest cinematic achievement, a team of mountain climbers is dispatched on a rescue mission only to stumble upon Shangri-La itself and its accompanying MONSTER GUARDIAN. Typical rescue mission issues, basically.

ORIGINAL MOVIE, 9pm, Hallmark Channel
William & Catherine: A Royal Romance
This is just Hallmark Channel being on the cutting edge of everything that's important. Just kidding, this is an extremely tardy entry in a nobody-cares genre. Sorry, even people who are like, "I care about their romance," you don't actually care about their romance. You're just sad about stuff. Psychology! Anyway, this movie is a re-enactment of Prince William's romance with Kate Middleton, duh.

ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10pm, Investigation Discovery
I Didn't Do It
The best kind of story ends in justice, even when the first part of the story is an awful, several decades long ordeal and the justice is too little too late. But still, it's better than nothing! Take this special, for example. It follows the paths of two wrongfully convicted men who spent 14 years in prison for a murder they didn't commit. But they were eventually exonerated, and that's why this will be entertaining instead of terribly upsetting!

HGTV Urban Oasis Giveaway 2011, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., HGTV
Pit Boss XL, 8 & 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Best of Doctor Who: The Companions, 10 p.m., BBC America
Bizarre E.R., 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Pit Boss, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Godfrey: Black By Accident, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 11 p.m., Comedy Central

What to watch on Sunday, August 28...

Breaking Bad

2011 MTV Video Music Awards
We know for a fact this will be painful to the senses, yet we continue to tune in year after year. We need SOMETHING to discuss at the watercooler, you know? So this is the 28th (!) VMAs, it will have no host, and performers include Lady Gaga, Adele, Lil Wayne, Bruno Mars and man-shaped pile of garbage Chris Brown. And surprises! Always surprises.

9pm, HBO
True Blood
Sookie uses her fairy powers to stop Marnie's Tolerance Festival massacre. Plus Alcide has second-thoughts about beating Tommy to death, Terry holds an intervention for Andy, and Jesus attempts to free Tara from the wicca store.

10pm, AMC
Breaking Bad
An increasingly unhinged Walt takes a huge risk, meanwhile Skyler deals with business stresses of her own. Also Hank spends some quality time with Walter Jr. and it's guaranteed awkward.

In tonight's season finale, our loveable con men and con women must steal components of a nuclear reactor from a Dubai skyscraper in the midst of an international chess tournament. Congratulations to those of you who who guessed this plotline in your Leverage Season Finale Plotline office pools!

10pm, HBO
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Welcome back, Wanda Sykes! Tonight Cheryl's former best friend Wanda interrupts Larry's training schedule, plus Jeff and Larry consider an investment opportunity.

Livin' for the Apocalypse
There are people out there who still believe that 2012 is a thing, and all four of these people will be featured in this TLC special profiling people who insist doomsday is on just the other side of the Summer Olympics. "Y'all stupid." -Mayans.

60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
Dateline NBC, 7 p.m., NBC
Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
Curiosity: What Sank Titanic?, 8 p.m., Discovery
Bridezillas, 9 p.m., WE
Drop Dead Diva, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Sunday 20/20: The Sixth Sense, 9 p.m., ABC
The Great Food Truck Race, 9 p.m., Food Network
In the Flow With Affion Crockett, 9:30 p.m., Fox
Against the Wall, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Flightmares, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Bio
Keeping Up With the Kardashians, 10 p.m., E!
Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
The Glades, 10 p.m., A&E;
Unusual Suspects, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Entourage, 10:30 p.m., HBO
I Just Want My Pants Back, SNEAK PREVIEW, 11 p.m., MTV

What are you watching this weekend?

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