True Blood Fantasy Re-Casting, Part 2: Re-Imagining Jason, Pam, Jessica, and More

Let me be real here: There is no better cast on TV than the current cast of True Blood. The fabulous actors who have been cast are the foundation of the success of the show. So I guess this isn't as much a fantasy re-casting as it is a fantasy understudy roll call. Because actors don't stay in the same job forever, you know? (Especially the really good ones.) Who knows when Nelson Ellis will get tapped for an Oscar-winning movie role or Fiona Shaw will start longing to return to her horse farm? I suggest HBO line up the following understudies, pronto, for the secondary leads of True Blood.

Jason Stackhouse

Ryan Kwanten is a dreamboat. For his understudy, you'd need someone who had impossibly good looks, boyish sincerity, and the patience to spend many hours lying down with his shirt off. I know that when I think "good looks," I think of Charlie Hunnam. And considering that Charlie learned to motorcycle for Sons of Anarchy, I have no doubt he'd quickly master the skill of yelling at panthers while being tied to various bed frames:

True Blood: Jason Stackhouse if he were played by Charlie Hunnam

Arlene Fowler

What ever happened to Brett Butler? In her heyday she was making America both laugh AND consider buying turquoise refrigerators, and now most of you probably don't even remember that turquoise fridge from Grace Under Fire. Brett's real Alabama accent and gritty sense of humor, plus the fact that she can barely tolerate kids, would make her an ideal Arlene understudy. Heck, at this point in her career, the show could probably pay her in barrels of flour and sorghum.

True Blood: Arlene if she were played by Brett Butler

Sam Merlotte

David Boreanaz has the scruffy, down-home vibe that makes me believe he'd open a bar and crack heads in order to keep things civil. He also has enough "lead romantic hero" juice—thanks to a century's worth of vampire TV superstardom in the '90s and early '00—to really stand toe-toetoe with the many large hunks vying for Sookie. Sam was at one point a serious contender for Sookie's affection, but the writers eventually dropped that aspect of Sam's character—perhaps because he only comes up to Alcide's elbow. David Boreanaz, however, is seven feet tall.

True Blood: Sam Merlotte if he were played by David Boreanaz

Pam de Beaufort

Pam's wry wit, ruthless violence, and high-fashion wardrobe have made her a fan favorite. The same might be said of Chloe Sevigny, who has been making audiences gasp since her debut in Kids. Should Kristin Bauer ever decide to become a straight-up superhero and go fight crime in China, Chloe Sevigny could definitely fill in. And for a few more hundreds of thousands of dollars, she could even do her own costumes.

True Blood: Pam if she were played by Chloe Sevigny

Jessica Hamby

Deborah Ann Woll is so effing hot. How long until some foreign prince snaps her up and makes her the queen of his country? There aren't many other actresses who can combine wholesomeness, heat, and flat-out beauty, but Kat Dennings does have that pin-up girl glamour and enough humor and alacrity to channel a rebellious baby vampire. She should be put on retainer for when Deborah pulls a "Princess Grace." (And I'm not talking about eating two burritos at once, which is also known as pulling a Princess Grace.)

True Blood: Jessica if she were played by Kat Dennings

Lafayette Reynolds

No joke, Nelson Ellis is one of my favorite actors and is irreplaceable. Should a giant spaceship beam him up and take his acting skills to another galaxy, the only way HBO could keep filming would be to call in Qaadir Howard. If you've never watched one of his videos, know that he is to vlogging what Mozart was to music:

Though he's more of a performer than an actor, he could probably channel his own real-life experiences. And like Lafayette, he lives in the deep South and dresses, dates, and handles new media exactly as he pleases.

True Blood: Lafayette if he were played by Qaadir Howard

Tara Thornton

A lot of fans seem to not like the character of Tara. Rutina Wesley brings incredible depth to her pain and anger, and maybe that's part of the problem: The writers keep giving Tara heavy story lines because they know Rutina can handle them so beautifully. Since Ms. Wesley has already been cast in a major film, if she ever left the show it would be a great opportunity for the writers to go in a new direction with Tara. Maybe make her more upbeat and less prone to screaming, which could be done by casting someone who was professionally cheerful for her entire adolescence: Lisa Turtle! I mean, Lark Voorhies. (Fun fact for Passions fans! Did you know that in the original True Blood pilot, Whitney, a.k.a. Brook Kerr, was originally cast as Tara? Yeesh!)

True Blood: Tara if she were played by Lark Voorhies

Marnie

For those of us who watched Passions, there is only one TV witch worth talking about, and that's Tabitha Lenox, Juliet Mills' doll-toting enchantress who schemed against the handsome people of Harmony for nine unforgettable years. Her eery mix of good cheer and angry, guttural whispering would be a solid back- up in the event that Fiona Shaw has to go film Black Dahlia 2: Hunt For the Blood Orchid.

True Blood: Marnie if she were played by Juliet Mills

Tommy Mickens

This is the only character/actor combo that I'd pick for a recast, not an understudy. I can barely tolerate Tommy for more than two minutes, but maybe I'd warm up to him if he had natural rhythm and exquisite, pixie-like features? And what a great move it could be for Zac Efron to play a darker role where he'd have to butt heads with Sam Trammel and kill his parents with his bare hands. Could Zac pull it off? I think this video answers that question:

Yep, I'd bet on it.

True Blood: Tommy if he were played by Zac Efron


If you were a True Blood casting director, who'd be on YOUR understudy roster?


RELATED STORIES:
+ If You Could Re-Cast the Stars of True Blood, Who Would You Choose?
+ True Blood: Escaped From Hotshot, But Free of Torment?
+ True Blood: Who Do We Root For Now?

Comments (19)
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Zack Efron as Tommy? Seriously?!
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No one like this when ya'll did this re-imagining the first time, why would you do it again? the worst.
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Not so long ago this site was a serious one when it came to reviews and stuff about TV. Then it turned into this joke-articles... it's almost like looking at Perez Hilton's site. The rest about info and episode guides is still good.
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Officially the worst line of articles on TV.com...ever
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*** edit *** you're shooting blanks.
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Who do we talk to about recasting TV.com columnists. I think Lily Sparks could be played by the supersmart simian from the new Planet of the Apes movie! Imagine the intrepid TV.com columnist as she is now... only with human-level cognitive and creative abilities! lol .... just kidding Lily! But this "series" of columns is truly lame. I get what you're aiming for, but your shooting blanks.
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No-one can replace Deborah Ann Woll. To suggest it is a felony. Don't care about the rest. Although the nordic guy that plays Eric (who's name I can't spell) is quite good. David Borianez as Bill...lol!
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lol, amusing
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Let's see, what characters can you re-imagine next week. There's Alcide and Debbie, I don't think you've done Terry(who everybody keeps calling Randy) yet, also the hilariously V-addicted Sheriff Andy, and Jesus to cap it off. There you go Lily, I basically just wrote half of next week's article for you.
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Staff
This is so much fun. I'd definitely watch a show where Zac Efron played all the characters.
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I don't like any of the "re-casts". I'd like a different Sookie and Bill, though. I'm not a fan.
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This website is getting retarded real fast. The only one I agree with was Pam kinda. Eric are you talking about the teaser they sent out to store with HBO watermark because that was the same Tara actress she looked a little different though.
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This is funny because I remember watching the True Blood pilot, the version that didn't air, and the actress playing Tara was so bad I chose not to watch the show when it began to air. Needless to say she was replaced by a much better actress and I gave the show another go.
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A worse Tara? It doesn't seem possible.
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only one i could support would've been kat dennings. thank god zefron (zac efron) was nowhere near this, i'd have not watched it just out of principle
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@mrfurious eek, all fixed.
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it's RUTINA Wesley buddy... I'd feel bad if a chick's name was Rustina, like the male Rusty. That's just ugly.
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This article would have been better if it was "if the casting directors had got it wrong" ie Bill played by that dude who was Seth Cohen in The OC. Sookie played by Paris Hilton etc
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Never saw or read so many stupidity together 'o'
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