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True Blood Needs to Trim Some Fat

True Blood S05E04: "We'll Meet Again"


Somewhere along the way, True Blood's best storylines got buried in boring peripheral plots and a crowd of new or lukewarm characters. To put it in terms the chiseled cast of the show would understand: Pam and Eric, Bill and Sookie, Jessica and Jason, Lafayette and Alcide: These are your abs, True Blood. These are the characters you want to display, define, and emphasize. Everything else is fat. I'm not saying bring the fat percentage down to zero, but the closer you get to zero, the better you'll look, and right now you've got a spare tire with crumbs in the rolls. TRIM IT.

The ab-like "core" characters on this show are still sexy and functioning. I love Pam and Tara's maker relationship, Pam is such an exasperated single mom and Tara is such a sulky teen girl (a tanning bed is a vampire's version of cutting, clearly) only Pam gets to live every mom's dream of being able to compel her sulky rebellious teen daughter to just snap out of it.

Lafayette throwing shade on Sook for the bodies she's left in her wake was a charged and emotional confrontation, but c'mon Laf: You are standing on the porch of your glass house throwing stones on that one, because who just turned into a demon of death and poured bleach in the gumbo? Who just killed his boyfriend and lost the body? HMMM.

Sookie was sufficiently shamed, though, and flew to Jason, full of regret about "ruining lives" (a.k.a. her own, having endangered her chances of entering the bone zone with Alcide). Jessica overheard everything because wood paneling + vampire hearing = no privacy (but weirdly she did not recognize a certain fairy smell on Sookie. Must be all the Calgon spray).

Tango and Cash, meantime, had returned to Bon Temps, intent on some sleuthing that included this disastrous blocking choice:

Eric is Pam's maker so he can easily compel her to tell him the truth. For the director to have him lay her down on the bar (health code violation) and hiss at her like a cat is such a weird contradiction of their whole relationship (which Pam pointed out in her speech, emoting devastatingly with her ketchup-smeared, Popsicle-blue eyes). Also, the Hardy Boys must not know Steve Newlin is a vamp because obviously Russell Edgington made him and them compelled Steve to free him? Is anyone confused about that? Hopefully Jessica will complain about Steve Newlin to Bill immediately.

I did laugh out loud at Tara's XXXL Fangtasia shirt, because her other clothes were presumably soaked with melted skin (shudder). But seriously, who makes XXXL promotional shirts for a club? It’s a good way to build a rep as a fat-fetish bar and diabetes and cocktails do not mix. Tara bitterly reminded Bill that protecting Sookie is not a rewarding hobby (but then, she's never f-cked Sookie in a graveyard, so...).

All of the above was awesome, in terms of abs it was a brisk set of crunches, and then things screeched to a halt as the show buried us back underground in the Authority's Lair, where the chancellors were conducting an acting workshop on Looking Shifty Through Advanced Side-Eye.

So many wordless grimaces! Lilith had better come bursting through those Authority doors soon, thirsting for spinal fluid, and she had better be played by Bebe Neuwirth.

Day dawned, bringing with it the show's "Day World" and an onslaught of unsightly flab, like the Bon Temps police being all clique-y. Women get stereotyped as being clique-y and socially cruel but men can be so much worse, BELIEVE it. Andy and Jason and the DA basically re-enacted Mean Girls for a while.

Sam's catalog model friends showed up at Merlotte's and invited him to go streaking. Blah blah whatever get TRIMMED.

You ever hot boxed so hard you cut someone's brake-lines? On the heels of the revelation that the "bath salts" Miami Zombie only had weed in his system, perhaps marijuana should be considered a gateway drug. As in, it opens up a gateway to hell? Don't go blaming the demon this time because Lafayette's face was perfectly normal when he first eyed Sookie's car, before summoning the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers' Goldar to finish the job.

Sure enough, Sookie ended up throwing herself out of her car on the drive home after her brakes failed. Good thing she'd put on long pants and an aviator jacket over her work uniform of shorts and a T-shirt. Often after a long day of work I too will change into some tight fitting jeans and an unseasonably warm jacket just to relax. Guys, what kind of car insurance do you think she has?

Alcide told Debbie's parents that Marcus had killed Debbie and left them to gently sob in each other's arms. Because this is not a corny lame show neither wolf parent broke into howls but I would bet at least one or both actors tried it in the first take. Actors spend years in motion classes "inhabiting the skin" of like, koala bears and snakes, and they are always on the alert for the chance to use that nonsense.

So this Terry most-depressing-road-trip-ever subplot is not just fat, it’s a tumor. A snake banging its head onto a keyboard would type things less evil and more coherent than this Terry subplot. Civilians getting killed for no reason?! Excuse me while I go finish my panic attack and sob in the other room. [45 minutes pass] Okay, I'm back. The "our soldiers are pilled-up psychopaths" vibe? Thoroughly gross. Big ups on the special effects in this scene, which were majorly decent, otherwise this interlude was just a dramatic illustration of the fact that war is terrible + a totally privileged and entitled and uncalled-for finger-wagging at the folks who risk their lives so you and I can sit here and giggle about TV. SIGH. Also, why'd they have to drag Sting's "Desert Rose" wailing into this mess?

Sookie decided to top off her catastrophic day by getting hardcore hammered. Holla, coping mechanisms! I've never understood Sookie as much as I did in this moment. It's looking like she does NOT have good car insurance.

Jessica interceded on Jason's behalf, using vampire powers to kill a boring subplot by ending the hunt for Debbie's killer. (YES! YES! YES!) Jessica could you also please help with the following?

a) glamour Andy to drive off a cliff
b) Skype-glamour Patrick (Scott Foley) to deposit Terry at a bus station and then drive off a cliff
c) glamour Sam to pack all the shifters in his van and drive off a cliff
d) glamour the werewolves to just chill out and stop taking meth

Now, the next segment, like so many things that involve Pam and Eric, was exactly perfect. Eric revealed to Pam that he was going to renounce her for her own protection, revealing with brutal honesty that he fully expected the True Death. After their physical altercation earlier in the episode left a bad taste in my mouth, this scene was tender, and necessary, and revealed a new depth to the connection they share and by extension that they share with Tara. Obviously Eric is going nowhere. Obviously they would have Pam wear a pink Juicy sweatsuit and kitten heels while making me tear up. It was genuinely touching that after Eric renounced their ties, he told her she was his child and meant pretty much everything to him.

Bill had a similar moment with Jessica as they searched the house for bugs. After being a rad dad about the pot (sigh, there's no such thing as a rad dad, guys, okay? Just be dads, when fathering is done right it's inherently magnificent, which is way better than cool). Jessica encouraged him to check in on Sookie, and Bill glowed with pride that she would generously give him a solid excuse to creep all up on Sookie's lawn. Bill and Eric in this episode represented two different types of protective parenting: Bill protected Jessica from worrying about his fate by not burdening her with his problems, Eric protected Pam from getting involved in his ruin by being explicit about his impending doom. Which would you prefer?

And speaking of great parenting, Pam followed up on the rebellious teen theme, joking that Tara had an eating disorder before feeding her a willing Fangtasian. If Tara's hatred of vampires is based in fear, she no longer has to be afraid, and Kristin Bauer made a speech that could have easily been grody but was kind of amazing just in her manipulation of her velvety voice. Also I love that Pam and Eric set Tara up with a cozy little coffin to sleep in. Tara's life is already 100 percent better than ever.

So I was all warm and fuzzy at this point in the episode, and then BAM, the show cut to Emma being tortured. For all the torture-time this season, I could have watched a whole episode of Perfect Strangers. Could have spent those 22 minutes on the madcap adventures of Balki and "Gorson Larry" but instead spent I that time checking my watch. TRIM THAT FAT.

I know we're all in agreement but I need somewhere to scream this aside from at my TV: SALOME IS SANGUINISTA. OBVIOUSLY. OBVIOUSLY. OBVIOUSLY!!! Whatever that is. Also, don't you think they use a crisp apple to get the vampire-biting-self Foley sound?

So the impromptu Boy's Night Out rolled on over to the Fairy field and went to a fairy club, and this:

...is my worst aesthetic nightmare. Talk about the least cool people from 2004 getting full control over production design. What cornball bitch or bitchette was slapping these sad-ass Dr. Parnassus' Wonder Emporium clown-face murals up in the club and queuing the lullaby-themed dance music? Shudders to the floor, babies. Here's a tip: Any time you go into a room and there's a black-and-white checkered dance floor, get the hell out of there. And if a guy in a bowler hat and suspenders shows up? Burn that feeble neo-Cabaret to the ground. Corny-ass shit. The cornball bitiches twirling around in this piece were apparently fairy refugees from the vampires, according to Hadley (hey boo! Your resume must read like a meth-head conspiracy theory).

From what we've seen, not a single vampire seems interested in rounding up fairies (unless Russell has been chugging those). Jason and Andy got kicked out of the Imaginarium, and hopefully the fall from standing level to the soft grass will kill Andy instantaneously. It’s a long shot but you have to hope! P.S., characters we've never met were killed by creatures we don't fully understand. CLIFFHANGER! Ugh, get this fat off my eyeballs.

My mounting rage from all the bad steeze was briefly cooled when we discovered Sam's bourgeois buds were killed while sitting in their own tasteful outdoor patio furniture. I LOVE WHERE THIS IS GOING! Please kill off more of the uninteresting characters immediately, whoever did this. I suggest heading to Luna's house next.

Also, Terry found that trouble he was looking for, he and Patrick are now captives of a madman. Whatever, just make it snappy, crazy dude. No rants, PLEASE. I do not want to hear some actor who has never even been in ROTC ranting for 15 minutes about the hell of war.

Also: Why do insane people always collage? The next time you find yourself rubber-cementing a news clipping to your basement wall, just let everything fall from your hands and walk to the nearest mental hospital, because you are most certainly crazy. That goes double for chicken-bone wind chimes.

That banging sound you hear is my forehead against my desk because I have to keep thinking about the Authority. At least in our second sentence with the Chancellors they popped that child actor. That was p.r.e.t.t.y sweet. Chris Meloni stomping around doing an Angry Face like Miss Viola Swamp from Miss Nelson Is Missing is getting on my last nerve. Maybe bureaucratic organizations amongst all-powerful creatures are just inherently boring. Every vampire franchise, as soon as it gets into the highest echelons of vampire politics, my brain just turns off. The Volturi is like zzzz. The Authority is like zzzz. Maybe that's an indictment of me and my interests (Little Women fan-fiction and slap bracelets!), but it why would an all-powerful group of beings consent to being controlled? Or even involved in something this boring? Even if you were immortal and had all the time in the world, you would not have time for this bêtise. TRIM IT!

To end on a high note, let's talk about how Alcide surprised Sookie while she was getting drunk and singing about making love in a graveyard (very cute) and basically things got all hot and liquor-y. Sookie was super relieved that she had not lost her third supernatural admirer and got both happy and bossy and made him drink horrible drinks and wanted to let him know how grateful she was. Lucky for her, the only appropriate show of gratitude for such a chivalrous act as becoming an accomplice to murder involves taking off at least your bra. And to top it all off, both Bill and Eric watched from afar as she fell into Alcide's Aqua Velva-scented embrace. Tango, Cash: Don't let me hear you complain because you both were, as my Aunt Francine would say, "balls deep" in perfect strangers only yesterday in this world's timeline. (NOT Balki/Cousin Larry although I would read that slashfic any day.)

So yes: There are hot and sexy things going on, but they are getting overtaken by all the heavy, useless fatty tissues surrounding them. Agree or disagree?


QUESTIONS:

1. What storylines/characters could stand the most trimming?

2. Eric and Bill seeing Alcide and Sookie: How will our vamps ultimately react?

3. What does it mean for Pam to be renounced by Eric? How does that protect her?

4. Steve Newlin is Russell's progeny, yes?

5. Who do you believe freed Russell?

6. Fairies: look like their steeze or fence that field?

7. What characters would you consider as True Blood's "core" abs?

8. Are the men just as clique-y as the ladies?

9. What is the best exercise for abs and how do I do it?

Comments (141)
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Can I get a link to the review about the girl that played Mac on veronica Mars? The quote about going from high school IT girl to a vampire?
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how flat was the child actor when he delivered the lines before the staking from 1 to 10?? The point of child vampires is that they give the creeps because they should have the gestures and behavior of a being that is around from several centuries and yet they are trapped in the body of a child.

It didn't really work.



But the whole authority is a bit let down (see for example the parallel interrogation of Bill and Eric in the second episode, worthy of the worst procedural ever): it is really hard to believe that this is the BIG VAMPIRIC ASSOCIATION everyone is scared of, they are so amateurish!
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I do agree there could be less attention to side characters and more onthe main cast, But I like the scenes with 'The Authority'. Over the first 4 seasons there were hinted at so seeing them now I think is a natural progression of the story. As to why other Vampires odey their demands, well I think in an episode it was said the Authority has only been around for a few hundred years, I suspect they came together with an eye to the future and now have positioned themselves to be the voice for vampires in general and are able to reign in the minor fringe elements, like young vampires who do not know better or old ones who resent being brought into the light making them vunerable. As for Nora I think Guardian already knows about her and Eric's connection and is playing a much larger game by creating a reason for her to rebel against the Authority and to infiltrate the Sanguinistas.
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I can't figure out Nora in all this,unless she has been really f$#ed up manipulated by someone of a genius in manipulation.She obviously cares for Eric and maybe enough for Bill and she has gone to some trouble to save them, but wait she wanted to save them into the grip of the Eddington fundamentalist faction, whom she knows both men are existentially against, especially Bill.

Unless someone has caught on that both Bill and Eric, having drank extensively from fairy Sookie and hence they are more worth alive then dead to the fundamentalists than the Authority, if they found out. The blood from Eric and Bill have the properties that would make it exclusive to bringing back Lilith, which the corrupted bloodlines could not. The two other pure bloods are The Guardian Roman and his consort and we know where they stand.

Finally, I agreed with those who think the Authority subplot and the treatment of it as weak and boring.But I have since changed my mind. TPTB needed the Authority to look exactly the way it is, so that eventually the takeover by either Eric or Bill , probably both, will seem welcome and natural.

I also think that we must really begin to focus on the fairies more seriously than we have so far.
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Can someone explain Nora's confession to me? I assumed that it was a fake confession that was somehow supposed to protect Eric. (I have no idea how and why. It's just the sort of thing I expect to see). Was the confession real? Why did the authority threaten to kill Eric and Bill? They had no reason to expect that they would be important to her. (I don't think that vampire slut has told Meloni's character that Eric is Nora's "brother").



The authority arc is really boring. It could have been interesting if they had shown us how they authority responds to events in the world, but all we get to see is a bunch of talk about religion in a meeting room.
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I can't believe you put Alcide among the "abs" characters. He was OK as a season guest star, but I don't think they should have made him a regular.
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Umm I happen to think Sam and Tara are having some interesting s/l lately. The only boring s/l I've seen is Sookie's, Eric's and Bill's.
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lol love your article.i agree those boring subplots need to be trimmed fast.sam is in a world of his own.Maybe its time to get rid of him too.That girl he's banging is hot tho(alcide's former packmaster's ex). What is the deal with the fairies. the vamps i'm so sure have better things to do..so ex that boring subplot too.

Eric and bill had their time with super snatch sookie so let alcide have a go too.

No idea who freed russell but i hope he's badass when he finally recovers.

Terry just needs to die.yawn..
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The Terry story is God awful! I always feel like fast forwarding through it on demand because I genuinely do not give a shit about what happens/ happened to him.

Hoyt as well. He's a great character because he brings a genuine kindness to the show, but now that he's not with Jessica, he just needs to go. (Once you have gotten ditched by a vamp and moved back in with your mom, you've basically hit rock bottom)

Also, I'm glad they killed the child actor. There was just something about him that I didn't like, which was sad because when I heard about the casting I was actually kind of excited. But no, it turned out just being weird and he couldn't pull off the anger he was trying to portray.
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I always kind of liked the character, though he was just there on the sidelines without any real plot. He tried to help Lafayette when he recognized he was going through some PSD and other little things like that. (Hugging Bill, helping Andy, etc).



Plus he had the best line of the series: "Bullsh**, god has horns"



But I too am not fond his current storyline. I'm not offended or anything, I just don't see anything cool with it yet.
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Seriously there are so many characters and plots that the show is confusing, frustrating and really has lost any sense of purpose. Each character gets about 7 minutes of airtime per episode and i don't care about any of them. Its a real shame that a show with such a strong beginning has slid into the realms of ridiculous.
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I am a fan of all of Trueblood's character but;



The pilled up and drunk soldier back story was shamefully terrible, who was in charge of that unit? how did all those people even get shot? How have Terry and co not gone suicidal. I know Terry was insane for a while but rightly so it seems, their idiotic and unbelievable actions got many people killed apparently.



Most importantly though MORE Andy Bellefleur, him and Jason provide the some of the best comedy scenes of the show.
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My guess, they were just sent out on recon in a blue zone (mostly safe, but not quite green). One of them was probably the ranking member but OBVIOUSLY just wanted to drink and party as well.



As for everyone getting shot, between the soldiers AND the enemy... everyone died. Civilians standing in the middle of a crossfire rarely make out OK.
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Are you seriously trying to claim some realism to that scene?







Fair enough about your assumption of their duties, but what sort of real life army squad drops pills whilst having a bottle of whiskey? (seemingly each, not to mention they couldn't bare to leave out the sentry guard so gave him a little bottle and only one pill!). And if one is in charge, how did such a screw up ever get promoted? The whole thing was stupidly unrealistic from the off.







Then, yea there were plenty of civilians but only one hostile actually shown. Now for a real army squad you'd hope that they could handle this relatively well, these pilled up ravers managed to get like 8-10 people killed.







I think its more likely that the sentry guard shot everyone than the insurgent, which seems like the only way it could happen.







As a result all the squad should probably have been court marshalled and charged with something. Its a shame because I really liked Terry as a character before, and now I think they've made him pretty hate inducing. It was all a bit more light hearted when he was just a traumatised war survivor, rather than a haunted war criminal, they've taken the responsibility away from the war and made him the bad one
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I actually quite like the rubbish episodes 'cos it means your review will even MORE entertaining as you fondly, but firmly rip into it and point out all its gloriously ridculous flaws!
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Again I thought half of the show was good, and the rest was somewhat boring. I don't think a lot needs to be trimmed, but some definitely does. It's less needing to kill them off, and more just needing to make them minor characters.



Was excited for Chris Meloni this season... but they don't seem to be giving him a whole lot to work with. The lack of Denis O'Hare is also not helping.
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I don't like the extra plotlines either. I think they should take a lesson from Gossip Girl; if you are going to be trashy and ridiculous, make sure that you move through each silly plotline quickly, so your audience doesn't get bored. If you do that, your audience won't care that there are lots of them. The show just needs more pace.

Also, I think Steve Newlin could be a fab new character, but they need to give him a varied arc over the season. Instead, it is obvious that they are going to draw out the inevitable for the entire season. Well, at least he should be allowed to have some fun next year. He could grow to be the new star of the show. Could you imagine if him and Pam got some screen time together? I think he has the potential to be hilarious.
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My hubby said it's sad to see Chris Meloni reduced to terrible dialogue. To me he's disposable and is no threat whatsoever. Wrong casting, Jared Harris would have kicked major butt and been the perfect Chancellor. :)
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Trimming yes! From season 4 on, All that Jason Werepanter stuff gave a very heavy drag on the story telling. I like Jason, I like the trashy panterpeople and I love the movie Catpeople, but in True Blood this story just doesn't go deep enough. Actually, the same goes for the werewolfs.
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1. None need real trimming, but all need more tying together and preferably quick !

2. After all those seasons I'm still not convinced either one of them truly loves (and respects) her. First thing coming out of Bill "let's use her" ? So that's what they'll do and that will also be what will get the season on track. After all, Sookie unwillingly getting in the middle of things is what makes True Blood spin...



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if you dont like the show stop watching simple as that but if you want to enjoy something try being less cynical. if you dont put your mental effort in finding whats wrong with the show. you might like what you see. keep in mind simple things can keep humans happy. sometimes being simple is the same thing. Oh and FYI that means keeping your thoughts simple and possibility's open therein helping you enjoy the show.
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Haha "if you dont like the X stop doing/watching/reading X, simple as that" is such a terrible argument.





Some of us can find problems in things which we still on the whole enjoy, then we can discuss those imperfection with friends (or on websites such as this one) for added comparison and more enjoyment.





So if its all the same to you I'll keep watching things even know I can find issues. And you know what? If you don't like our "cynical" interpretations then stop reading these articles, simple as that.
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Thank you for calling out the lameness of the fairy club scene! It was super dated, like

circa 1995 kind of dated. I was kind of loving the rest of the episode, though.
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One final note- none of what I said above should be taken as a criticism of any of the actors involved- I respect and admire the work each and every one of them has done and continues to do- if I didn't derive some happiness and entertainment from watching them all (even when I don't care for their subplots) I wouldn't be able to enjoy the show.
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I don't think Terry is well-developed enough at this point to anchor a plotline (seemingly) completely removed from any of the 'core characters'- of which, to my mind, there are 3-

Eric/Bill (yes, I count that as '1' because their plotlines have been interdependent for a while now), Pam, and Jason (who replaced Sooki once he became a cop, making him more directly involved with more characters than Sooki, who now seems relegated to LaFayette and whoever she happens to be boning at the moment).

As for the Authority plotline- it's not perfect but it has the potential to flesh out a very large portion of the True Blood world, so I will gladly take it any day over Terry's plot (though I do love the guy), Sooki's plotline, or Sam's plotline. As for the questions:

1: Sookie- I know it won't happen, but: get rid of her- completely- if she's not having sex she's either running around Kermit-flailing or being pushy, judgemental, and pretty much the worst employee ever

2. Bro's before ho's

3: Eric can no longer be used to (directly) manipulate or locate Pam through VPS

4. Yes

5. (see '4')

6. Huh?

7- Eric/Bill; Pam; Jason

8. I don't care

9. Reverse crunches
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They have done this way too often on TB! As opposed to sticking with the core characters and their lives and struggles, they introduce tons of random side story lines that fill space and eventually get dropped like a hot potato (were-panthers anyone?). I mean we are on ep 4 and I feel like we barely even started since we have barely seen any of the good TB I know and love, just all this Authority BS and angsty Tara (cause that isn't getting old). Come on, bring back the sexy heat and GOOD angst.
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1) Terry and the Authority
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sookie is the most annoying person ever. ever. she's the karen cartwright (smash) of true blood. she killed the guy's wife and now he's having sex with her?? tara's right. blondie's just not worth it.
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I've been on TV.com for quite a while but True Blood is the FIRST show where on its review pages I see SO much hate on people criticizing the show. You get the impression that this is a fansite/fanforum and not actually a review cite where critics write and users discuss and share opinion.



Give me a break! If you love this series, you should be able to get over other people criticizing it (which btw is NOT "complaining" as most here write). What's it to you? Seriously, some posts below look like trolling - even if it's supposed to "counter" supposedly trolls/"haters". Please. Can we get back to a more civil conversation? Stop using words like "ruining the show" and "hate" in every second comment? Start living with criticism and don't take it personal like a raging teenager. And don't read these reviews if you can't handle it.
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It's been at least a few months since I've left a negative comment about a review - until this review. Most people complain occasionally, but this reviewer complained almost endlessly.
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Theres a difference between criticism and suggesting that every other subplot of a show is "excessive and needs to be cut (trimmed) from the show" I think the people on here just wonder why it seems like the whole review (and many subsequent comments) are basically a piss all over true blood fest. Its fine for the people on here to comment n complain about a show, its expected, but not from the so-called fan reviewing it... Sorry Lily, but u sound like u hate this show now esp this season. I mean no personal offense to anyone, just making an observation.
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I totally get your message if one says it like that. It's just a matter of tone. Tbh I also didn't like the review a lot (btw: I would leave out 50% of the pictures. They don't rly seem to fit a higher purpose). The review is over the top but on the flip side I prefer this writing style over the old. Anyway, a lot of comments are just "hate on haters" and also other commenters. It feels like so many take it personal when they shouldn't. If people really think she complains too much, they shouldn't do the same but deliver constructive criticism on the review.
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Worst TB episode ever, what a snoozefest.
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"Women get stereotyped as being clique-y and socially cruel but men can be so much worse, BELIEVE it."



This plus the extremely odd change in writing style to full on teen girl blogget makes me really wonder about these reviews. Perhaps some fat could be trimmed in this article as well :P ?
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Staff
At least I didn't resort to emoticons, cranky-dude blogget! :O
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I LOVE PAM. And I hate Sookie!!! SO much! She deserves to be fat trimmed... all 90 pounds of her... LoL!

gonna vote on twop.com tubey awards for Sookie as worst character probably. anyone else?
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She's run off the rails recently..although the binge drinking did make me like her a little bit more. But basically breaking up with two smokin' fine vampires at once is something there is no recovering from, as a character.
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Recovering from? That's one of the only decent things she's ever done.
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Does anyone think that Russell is in the basement at the Vampire Authority and no one knows it's really him..
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That would be thoroughly delightful

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season 5 is based on dead as a doornail and more from the following books hence why there are more plots, sub plots and a larger cast. a series like this and dexter its not about how they start is how they finish, answering the all the questions and leaving the veiwer with something for the following season like at the end of season1 lafayette gets attacked, in the book he dies however the character is popular with the viewers hence he turns up as a prisoner in erics basement at the start of season1.



the tv viewing figures went from an average of 2m for season1 to just under 5m for seasons 3 and 4 with season 2 getting 4.3m. they do not need to cut the fat some of the cast will only be around for this season and some will be kept on due to the story line.
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lol'z @ smurf monster
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Stop hating on Sam and Tara. They are important characters or "abs" if I must use this silly analogy.
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I like Sam, but let's be realistic. They are supporting characters. Both could have missed an entire season and not been terribly missed in the story... that isn't core.
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Oh please. They are both more important and have more plot lines than other so-called major characters such as Pam, Lafayette, Alcide, Jessica...
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Wow! You REALLY hate this series.
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Wow, you complain a LOT!
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And you complain about complaining.

Where does this all end?
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1. What storylines/characters could stand the most trimming? The Authority and the fairies

2. Eric and Bill seeing Alcide and Sookie: How will our vamps ultimately react? Some noble crap about letting her be happy while secretly hoping she waves her bra at them

3. What does it mean for Pam to be renounced by Eric? How does that protect her? Eric can't control her with his Jeddai mind tricks

4. Steve Newlin is Russell's progeny, yes? Doubtful, he's still healing. he'd have sucked Newlin dry. Besides the Authority (snooze) say he was changed as punishment for the Godric incident and so they must know who did. Though the fact Salome hasn't been staked tells us just how daft this Authority is.

5. Who do you believe freed Russell? Salome

6. Fairies: look like their steeze or fence that field? Steeze

7. What characters would you consider as True Blood's "core" abs? Eric, Pam, Bill, Lafayette, Jason, Jessica, Sookie, Alcide and even Tara

8. Are the men just as clique-y as the ladies? yup, yup, yup!

9. What is the best exercise for abs and how do I do it? A visit to Russell
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1. What storylines/characters could stand the most trimming?

soldier guys

2. Eric and Bill seeing Alcide and Sookie: How will our vamps ultimately react?

sick of him suck on her

3. What does it mean for Pam to be renounced by Eric? How does that protect her?

they can have sex now!

4. Steve Newlin is Russell's progeny, yes?

yep. and if he can charm it means someone taugh him. russel perhaps.

5. Who do you believe freed Russell?

thepanthers

6. Fairies: look like their steeze or fence that field?

steeze

7. What characters would you consider as True Blood's "core" abs?

rdhead. redhaed eveyrthing

8.nope



9. bycicle lying on your back
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Good stuff about this episode:

1. that kid exploded

2. all scenes featuring Andy also involved pants

3. no whiny Hoyt +/or bigoted momma-Hoyt

4. Pam is awesome

5. no (or limited) pointless vampire-torture scenes

6. death of Sam's horsey friends

7. we'll never have to see Tara pathetically self-harm, ever again

8. no Holly

9. no scenes of wolfy cannibalism

10. no Steve Newlin

11. no world's worst-CGI/pupeteering excuse for a desiccated Russell

12. seriously, getting rid of that vampire kid (Henry?)

13. Bill and Eric back home and interacting with someone other than themselves/the authority

14. quickly getting rid of the whole Pelt problem, please don't waste our time bringing it back up

15. unlike last week, minimal screen time wasted on the authority-lair



So, yeah, we all think that slutty-chancellor what's-her-face is a secret sanguinista (whatever that is), but has someone already thrown out the suggestion that a REAL twist would be if Roman was the secret-leader of the sanguinista movement? (Confession I rarely read all of the comments because, well, laziness.)
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1. The authority. That aspect of the show is definately yawn worthy.

2. Not care for a while, then somehow get drawn back into the phenomenon that is Sookie.

3. She will concentrate on Tara but will also try to keep tabs on what is going on with Eric.

4. Likely

5. One of the authority members........ for a laugh.

6. Fairies....zzzzzzz ..........yawn...........zzzzzzzz

7. Eric, Sookie, Lafayette, Bill, Jess, Pam, Tara

8. Irritatingly so.

9. Eating six Big mac while lying on the couch......... Works like a charm.
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Wow,you sound like so many of the hack critics that have ruined so many good television shows .And because of those critics good shows went off the air.

i think the story is finally going in a good direction and if they try to stay some what cose to the books then this can go a long ways.
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Sorry but that makes no sense. 95% of such decisions are based on ratings.

Even you were right (which you are not), are you seriously implying that all reviewers around the world should praise every series so never anything gets canceled? Because that's what I get from your thinking there....
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Staff
What are you talking about? Critics have about 0 effect on a show getting renewed or picked up. Ratings are all it takes to stay on the air.
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You and I see eye to eye on most things, as usual. This season is not only boring as fuck, it's also eye-rollingly predictable, and the blatant attempts to shock us are just not even fun or campy in the ways of seasons past. Even after the terrible last few eps of season 4, I was still a true believer, and devoted as ever. And now the only thing keeping me around is the fact that Russell will be back soon, bringing with him all the fun and games I miss. Dennis O'Hare will single-handedly save us all from the edge of "FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M OUT!" Anyway, to answer your questions, just cuz I'm in the mood:



1. All humans, save Jason, Laffayette, and Sookie. All werewolves. All shifters. Vampires and the interesting humans are the only place to be. Period.

2. Meh. As a huge E/S shipper, I honestly don't even care anymore. It's like WHATEVER. I've always found Alcide to be cardboard-like, and chemistry-less. I actually like him more now than I ever have before, but as I said before, this season sucks my balls, so that's not saying much. If they wanna write Eric as totally erasing all Sookie love, and Bill as" totally over it, even though I still care", then ok. Whatever you say, writers.

3. Eric is protecting Pam from being used as bait and/or collateral damage. But, yeah, in theory it's like, does that REALLY matter? I don't see their relationship changing once they kill all their enemies inevitably.

4. This is where I disagree. I don't think Russell turned Steve at all. I think it was either Nan Flanagan, or perhaps Salome, or Nora. Definitely someone authority/sangunista related.

5. I'm actually starting to but into a little theory that Bill released Russell. It would be the best twist ever, and renew my enthusiasm for this train wreck a thousand fold. If they go a more boring route, I'd say Salome ends up being Russell's progeny and it was her who released him.

6. Fairies are the worst. THE WORST. Moulin Douche made me LOL big time. Totally accurate. Blech.

7. All the ones you mention, but replace Alcide with Tara (even though she's not a fave). I know he's attractive and all, but since when has Alcide been essential to the show? Excuse me while I fall asleep until they show his bare ass again.

8. Totes. Season of the bromance, remember?

9. I have no idea. My metabolism has kept me from exercising for over 10 years.



Hey, at least this show isn't Weeds. Now that's a show that truly can never be saved from the terrible, shitty mess it became. Bright side!
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I do miss the campiness as well...they used to inject so much humor, but because Eric and Bill are constantly about to killed, its really harshing them out once again. Wish we could spend a season with them keeping things a little more local, a little less Steven Segal. But I agree with you that Dennis O'Hare popping up could truly turn things around.
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"Because this is not a corny lame show."



I don't know if we're still watching the same show! But thank you for referring to Lafayette as Goldar. Perfect.
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I knew I had seen that blue face somewhere else!
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I have to admit that this episode did surprise me. The last few episodes i seemed to have mastered time travel and managed to watch the hour of blah in about 5 minutes.

But in saying that, i was only surprised because it actually started to clean up its act ( and by that i mean removing the USELESS SHIT!)

Am i seriously the only one that cannot stand Sam??? I hate him, he bores me to the true death. Him, and the werewolves, the "fairies", Lafayette, and pretty much everyone else that isn't Sookie, Bill, Eric, Pam, Jessica, and strangley Tara ( who i have disliked since the beginning of the show, but have new-found interest)....but mostly Sam.

With the whole "we're gonna make Sookie do what we want" from Eric, intrigued but still...meh. I can see how its gonna go, she's gonna help (albeit reluctantly) until one of them finally breaks down and declares their never ending love for her all over again, but i guess i'm just happy the original gang is slowly getting their act together.

And don't even get me started on The Authority. I want them gone. I want Russel to burn them all and their snarky, smirky faces, and then we can work out the Russel problem after that.

And totaly agree that if Lilith makes an appearance, it will HAVE to be Bebe Neuwirth. I will watch this show until the end ( no matter how stupid it gets), if the writer's do that for me. To top it off, the should probably bring in Frasier as the jilted ex-lover/vampire leader of a faction against the Lilith supporters :-) that would make me lol.
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I was with you until you wanted to drag Kelsey Grammer on the show.
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Totally agree. I feel like some of the storylines they've set up are okay, but they are being taken over by minor characters we don't care about.

It annoys me that Sam has been separated so thoroughly from every other character. I remember in season one I loved him, they have ruined his character.

I miss Hoyt, and Hoyt and Jess. Jess and Jason are dull.
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Thank GOD they killed off that annoying kid!
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What happened to the True Blood that was all sexy and focused on the main characters love triangles? This crap is boring. Totally agree with about evrything that was written here. And please fire Christopher Meloni, I love the guy as an actor but this is a sad waste of his talent he needs to go back to L&O SVU.
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Christopher Meloni has been on SVU for over 12 years. Playing the same role for so long is the true waste of his talents. Bring on this new role.
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He wasn't on SVU for over 12 yrs, it was just plain 12 yrs. It didnt' waste his talent being on the show for too long, he liked what he was doing at the time.



I think he's doing a fine job since this is his third episode.
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This was one looooooong bitching about a pretty great episode of a pretty decent season.
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what he said!



though i missed Steve Newlin and his preppy outfit
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I agree with the glamour part. Some of the storylines goes nowhere . The best part of the season so far is Eric and Pam relationship. I think they are stretching the Authority part too long .( they could use more creepy Bible dude and Onameous and less the hysterical lady and Salome ) I think the counsel member must standand walk sometime, they always appear sitted around the same table?!.

Terry could keep his PSTD to himself or at least elaborate it in a breve epifany.

About the core of true blood I think the world of supes itself and not sookie is the core of the tv show(not the books).

I would like to see more of Sookie and any of their suitors( to name a few : ALCIDE; ERIC ;BILL, etc), Sam ( in a good storyline ),Pam and Laffayette.
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Strongly disagree!

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with what?
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I have to believe that there were more talented kids available to play the part of that vampire child. I refuse to believe that that kid was the best option. What I'm trying to say is I'm glad he's dead.



Aside from that, I agree, this show has a lot of fat to trim. At this point I think every character who has a name has their own storyline. Last season, several of the stories went nowhere (I'm talking about you, Demon Baby) and I'm really not interested in watching that happen again. Eric, Bill and Sookie are "the" core, some others are indispensable and then there is everyone else.



Instead of answering all of the questions, I'm going ask a couple: Are Sookie and Jason both fairies, or just her? If Jason was bit would he taste like a fairy even though he can't read minds or shoot light? And why has Jessica never reacted to Sookie like she did the other fairy in the clothing store?
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I too am glad that child actor is off the show forever. Talk about some network guy calling in a favor. And what has happened to Demon Baby, speaking of that? Remember when Terry was ALL about being a dad? Sigh.
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It wasn't just that the character was completely miscast, it was also poorly written. His dialogue made me think he was thirteen year old, and was turned three years ago. They could have made it so much more.
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1. Terry's and Sam's. Ooh, and Andy's!

2. I think this is going in the direction the show started off this season: Bill and Eric bromancing, and Sookie doing crazy shit by herself (obviously dragging other people along).

3. It protects her in that she won't be compelled (by her tie to him) to tag along in whatever crazy mission he embarks on. It doesn't mean that she won't do it anyway out of her freewill.

4. I believe so.

5. Steve Newlin is a probable candidate. I just hope it is someone we already know and not yet ANOTHER new character who I won't care anything about. Although, if we are thinking Simone is a sanguinista, then she certainly had a motive to release Russell, but how did she find out about it? Mmmm. Now you made me think!

6. I hope they fence it, because if their style is tacky early 2000s like in their club, then we are all better off.

7. Sookie, Eric, Lafayette, Tara, Jessica, Pam, Bill, Jason.

8. Cliquier :D

9. If you find out, do share the secret!!
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