True Blood: On the Right Track

Fireworks are nice, but they cannot compete with this season of True Blood. The second episode dazzled me more than any two-bit Roman candle ever could. I had some high expectations after the premiere, but the second episode really delivered.

Well, except, yes: The opening did have me sucking my teeth with frustration that Jason was already out of that freezer. I had hoped we would get an episode with a few cut away shots of the freezer and the sound of him pounding on the lid from the inside. Nope! Instead he’s tied up on a mattress (as usual) with his head getting licked by Timbo, which is a hell of a way for a 19-year-old actor to make a living.

We found Sookie and Eric exactly as we had left them, sparring. I was pretty impressed by their banter. It sizzled, it crackled, it sparkled, like diamonds wrapped in bacon.

I wonder if Stephen Moyer (Bill/married to Anna Paquin in real life) is quietly losing his mind about how much chemistry these two have.

Hoyt and Jessica were just leaving Fangtasia, and were surprised to find a crowd of protesters, but haven’t Jessica and Hoyt been there before? Also, the idea of a guy filming an altercation with a vampire to keep that vampire from killing people is silly. Just tear off the arm holding the camera phone on your way out of there. Hoyt got whupped by the protesters, which was truly in vain considering Jessica would return later in the episode and hook up with the “fang banger” from last week anyway.

First Nude Bosoms went to Sam’s shifter friend Luna. Sam is spending a lot of time naked these days, and of all the people on this show to be naked in every scene, Sam is not the one I would have chosen. I don’t know if it's his Meg Ryan hair or what, but I might start taping little paper pants onto the bottom of my tv screen.

Strangely, Bill being bare-ass naked and in the throes of adult hugs with the witch-spy did not bother me. I wonder if he pulled the writers aside and was like, “Look, if Anna’s going to have this whole romance with Alex Skarsgard, I’m going to need a lot of scenes with naked ladies to keep things even.”

Sookie crossed through the graveyard to Bill’s house, and snipers came out of no where! Oh right, he’s a King now.

This moment gave complete finality to their former relationship. The fact Sookie and Bill essentially lived in each other’s backyards was a huge part of their courtship. Where you or I might send a text on a whim, Sookie could simply lope through the trees and Bill would be waiting. But with Sookie no longer owning her house and Bill having a team of snipers, a lot of the comfort and security has been drained out of Sookie’s living situation.

Less important but very entertaining was Bill dressed up like Sid Vicious, with a British accent, going to a punk club in the early 80s:

I’m grateful the show found an entertaining way to tell us Bill has been in league with AVL all along and double-crossed his Queen on their behalf—as a triple agent, I guess?

I don’t know. Vampire business is so boring, although it did make me laugh that Louis Pasteur was specifically mentioned as a vampire scientist developing synthetic human blood.

Louis Pasteur must have been WHIRLING in his grave at this reference.

Sookie went back to work, and it's about time. What is she using for money these days? Sookie met Arlene's baby and Arlene got really scared. I guess this is Arlene’s scene partner for the season: a baby. Just screaming, staring, and emoting across from a baby. How embarrassing. Though better a baby for a scene partner than this guy:

So tired of Hot Shot. It's dirty, methy, and I don’t believe any of the accents— everyone just does their best Foghorn Leghorn and clenches their jaws.

Crystal became a completely despicable person by holding a knife to Jason’s throat. Stop teasing us and kill him already. She’s holding him hostage so they can turn him into a panther and then she can make a panther baby with him. Do what you have to do, but please stop filming it; I would've much rather seen Jason sum everything up over coffee three episodes from now while talking to someone more interesting.

Sigh. Maybe being a panther will make you more interesting, Jason, but I DOUBT IT.

The most interesting thing going on with Sam is not Luna trying to put on clothes and seduce him, but his brother’s hair.

They cast Rin Tin Tin already as Tommy! He's going to be played by some pixels. Tommy later spied on Sam’s campfire circle and the two brothers argued (naked) about learning to trust each other again. I’m sure both people following that storyline were glad to see a resolution, and I’m sure both people following that storyline were the actors’ moms.

I was relieved that Tara and Sookie were quickly reunited without one of their instant shouting matches. I believed Sookie when she said New Orleans had been good to Tara: Tara looks amazing. But I don’t believe those groceries. White sugar does not cross the lips of anyone on this set.

Tara also met up with Lafayette and immediately called him out on being a Wiccan. He convinced her to tag along with him and Jésus to the Moon Goddess Emporium. The name makes me laugh out loud , but truth: Every town has one of these, my hometown had “Avalon Everlasting”

The Moon Goddess Emporium also came up in conversation, when Bill summoned Eric to the newly redecorated Compton place. Who knew Bill had such specific taste? I liked him better poor.

Bill told Eric to go break up the coven, where Tara was already giving much eye rolling to the dorky moms and illiterate book club attendees sitting around in their Sears separates.

By awakening the parakeet, these witches had acted as necromancers, and if they can control the dead they can control vampires: sounded logical enough for me. Marnie was already suggesting they raise a dead body when Eric arrived, so it felt kind of justified when he assaulted her. And for an actress in her fifties, this embrace had to be electrifying.

One of the witches tried to defend Marnie by joining hands. Lafayette, who was tortured by Eric, did not want to intercede, until Eric turned his fangs on Tara. Lafayette took the “Only Human On The Inside” award for the episode when he grabbed hands and completed the circle in defense of his cousin, overcoming his own PTSD from getting locked up in Eric’s Sex Dungeon in Season 2.

It was a genuinely touching moment, because Tara has been through ENOUGH, and it made me like Lafayette even more, if that's possible, that he overcame his own fear to help her. And it worked! The room filled with wind and Eric kind of spaced out. Like, really spaced out. Like, proceeded to take off his shirt and walk down a highway spaced out, which is where Sookie found him at the end of the episode.

Those of you who are familiar with the Sookie Stackhouse books are probably pumping your fists in the air (and hopefully not giving away any spoilers in the comments). This development is torn from their pages, and while the show usually diverges quite dramatically, I think it's clear we will be seeing a lot more Eric-and-Sookie development. Naked development, hopefully.


QUESTIONS:

… Would you accept a microwave from Eric Northman if it meant he could sleep in your crawlspace?

… Is there a “fairy Sookie” or has she always been uppity?

… Did Bill pull off the punk look?

… Should Jessica tell Hoyt about sucking on another human? Will she anyway?

… What did that witch DO?

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this is a zesty test
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This is a testy test
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I loved when Sookie opened the cabinet and found out that Eric not only put in a cubby hole for himself. And it wasn't one of those shabby ones like Bill or Jessica has, it is pretty high tech. It looks like it goes down to a batcave.
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Imitation is the highest form of flattery.... - I agree with other people that this review looks a lot like if not exactly the same as Price Peterson's reviews for Vampire Diaries. I even thought maybe he was writing this review until I read it more closely and realize the humor didn't quite match up. There's even the phrase 'adult hugs' here that seems to reference Peterson's love to repeatedly use the phrase 'shirtless hugs' for sexual scenes in TVD. HOWEVER I don't hold this against Lily Sparks - I just assume she reads Peterson's regularly herself and became a fan just like the rest of us. So she intimates the style out of respect. I wouldn't mind for her to continue this or even for more reviewers on this site to try it out - it's fun to see screen stills to go with the review - breaks the text up and helps you to remember what part of the episode a reviewer is referring to. And a killer caption doesn't hurt - like others pointed out 'this magick is for you hooker' was inspired - sounds true to something Lafayette would say even. I also like the photo of the sugar in the grocery bag which she comments: "White sugar does not cross the lips of anyone on this set." ha ha that has to be true right? So kudos to a nice recap.
More+
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Lily Sparks. Well done on the excellent blog so far!

This week and last week both had me creasing up!


"And for an actress in her fifties, this embrace had to be electrifying."
Loving your work! Special appreciation goes to the the red titles on the still photographs, the Louis Pasteur one is inspired! I had picked up on Bill's taste in wallpaper and soft furnishings, and Tommy's quiff. You didnt however mention Lafayette's mohican - which some cruel person had cornrowed since the last episode.

Bill's punk flashback didnt seem authentic - I was a bit 'meh' at the Nan Flanagan revelation, but it did neatly demonstrate that Vampires strategy is played out over the long term. Im amused by the new relationship dynamic between Bill and Eric. The tables have turned, but unlike Bill for the first 3 seasons, Eric doesnt seem resentful- merely amused and quietly mocking.

Agreed about Jason and Hot Shot, I was hoping the show would diverge from the books- as that storyline is ridiculous.
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i have not missed an ep since day 1 but am not getting hbo till i move. so i am going to have a marathon later...glad to hear everyone is really happy with the series still...
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I would accept WHATEVER Eric wanted to offer me and he can sleep in my crawlspace anytime!! - I wish she would stop being the weak little thing she is when she's with Bill and be more feisty like she is with Eric. So if it's uppity they have to give us, I'll take it. - That punk look Bill sported had me cracking up!!!!! - Jess should be able to suck on whomever she wants to. She won't be telling Hoyt. - Don't really know what the witch did, but she did some seriously weird mojo.
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Eric gave Sookie the microwave so she could heat up his True Blood before serving it to him. I love Lafayette! He was actually killed off in the first book of the series by the author. Alan Ball has chosen to keep him in the story. Never have liked Crystal and Hot Shot but they were in the books a lot. I like Jason, he's cute and dumb. Get used to the witches, this story line was in the whole book I forget which one, 6 or 7 I think. I love Jessica and Hoyt, I nearly wet myself laughing when she made him those eggs!!!
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1. I would accept anything from Eric, and I hav to say Alex's acting ability is simply inspired.
2. I much prefer the uppity Sookie to the doormat sjhe was Witt Bill.
3. Bill's punk look creeped me out, funny but he looked stupid. And what an incredible coward he couldnt win in a fair fight.
4. Jessica need not kiss and tell
5. Not sure about the witch, she also creeps me out.
As for all the criticism about the review, I enjoyed it to a certain extent but not the best. As for some guy's review of Vampire Diaries being plagiarized, I have zero interest in that show or any review of it so don't know what they are talking about.
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@Nate Dog The Great, i am not jealous. I was merely stating that such a blatant rip off of TVD reviews is retarded, and has, in this case fallen completely on its face. Im not sure if this same woman was reviewing True Blood in previous seasons, but whoever it was, it'd be better if they went back to that format, because they were at least in a format that was entertaining to read and actually added to the viewing experience, whereas this drivel just makes me annoyed at true blood. And @lancerino, its not about whether price peterson was the first to use pictures, but if you actually looked at his reciews you can clearly see that she has completely copied the format of his reviews, right down to the funny captions on each photo, and the quirky questions at the end. its blatant copying, theres no getting around it. Just sayin'
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@Arch_Angel88 @fan1983 @ quowned
So you mean to say that the guy doing TVD reviews is the first guy on the internet to implement Funny words into Pictures durin a review? Please go troll somewhere else....
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Gotta say, I have a new found appreciation for Sam's shifter club. I don't usually make a big deal out of the T n' A in the show, but damn Luna looks good naked. Also, I actually loved the 80's flashback scene, I thought Stephen Moyer pulled it off quite well. Looking forward to more black magic action, and more Jessica and Hoyt, i still find them stupidly adorable even when they are fighting and being all cutesy dramatic.
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I smell the jealousy in AndreaMcCooeys voice all the way over here! Lily, you had me at taping little paper pants on the bottom of your TV. Haters gonna hate. Plus, its sort of a TV website, no Biblical references here, people should calm it before they vomit. Youre great, True Blood is great and hate is great when its coming from people who only wish they were you or at least doing what youre doing. They thought that they were ill, found out that they in fact were. It makes sense if you say it like a gangster and recognize ills double meaning, again, like a gangster. Where are the gangsters in True Blood? Im pissed!
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The internet is quite a big place. I am sure this format of reviewing a television program has been used before. Geesh people...
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Pulling. It. Off. If somebody had asked me a week ago if Bill could be a british 1980's punk i would have laughed and went on. Truth is, i did chuckle when i saw him the first time, but after a while i thought he looked great. I really don't Know what everybodys deal with Jason is. I kind of like his storylines. He's the comic relief in a messed up Bon Temps. What's wrong with that and it's exactly what i need after another sookie-Tara screaming Match or Vampires exploding everywhere. Sookie and Eric where just great. I really enjoyed their back and forth and when sookie discovered Erics cubby. I loved this Episode and am very excited about the next one.
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@fan1983 - First of all it's TVD, not VPD, in case you didn't know vampire is one word so it doesn't require two letters in the acronym. Second, if you had read any of Price's reviews, you would know that the format she used is nearly identical to his, therefore she's not really doing something on her own. All that being said I did enjoy her review, however, I completely understand the criticism directed towards her, and her stolen format DOES inevitably open herself up to comparison.
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Bill as a punk looked great. Eric was gorgeous as always. I still couldn't care less about Sam and his new friends and that bunch of people who kidnapped Jason. Too many story lines, they should give up at least one turning-into-an-animal part.
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The TVD reviews on this site are fun to read because it's TVD, that show takes itself seriously, so poking fun at it is something that can be done well.
The same kind of reviews would be less fun for True Blood, because the show already makes fun of it's absurdity.
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FOLLOW THE BOOKS
FOLLOW THE BOOKS FOLLOW THE BOOKS it would make for a great season if they did ever since the show came on i have been waiting for them to get to the later novels pleeeeeezzzzz stick somewhat to the basic story cuz its already fan-bloody-tastic
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Bill punk rock look, didnt rock at all. The dude is too boring, made me laugh out loud, and I watched this episode 5am. And dude, who wouldn't accept Eric's gifts? Sookie, she will get to it, hopefully :D & that witch *Angry look* Poor Eric, now he is like a lost baby. Loved the review, and "this magick is for you, hooker!" LOL, awesome.
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Whoa, I don't see the question, "and how does my writing compare to the VPD reviewer?" on there. Give the girl a break, she's doing something on her own.

I thought this review was entertaining. I WOULD accept a microwave from Eric Northman! Sookie HAS always been uppity and I laughed out loud when Bill tried the punk look.
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I literally just registered to reiterate what a ton of people have already pointed out, your not funny... Whether it is pathetic that Vampire Diaries is so interesting or not. The guy that does those reviews writes the best column on this entire website. Hands down. While interesting and informative, not another thing on this site gives me as much pleasure as reading that guys reviews. He is simply hilarious. Even if you don't like the show you should watch it just to read the reviews. On the Blue Ray they should package them as a special feature. For you to simply be so short minded as to straight up copy his formula and hope it works is simply absurd.

Get a life. Get creative. You get to write about True Blood. Its actually a fantastic TV show. Don't get me wrong I'd love it if that guy did this formula for this show, but, you, it just doesn't work. Give up.

As Ari would say to you: "It's like the Holocaust. Never again..."
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... Is it just me or those recaps used to be much better? Or maybe I'm confusing this with the recaps of VD...all I know is: it's not funny.
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First of all "this magick is for you, hooker!" is brilliant. II laughed so hard. And when i really looked at the picture and looked at lafayettes face i laughed even harder. But seriously i love lafayette. I hope he gets alot of screentime this season. And maybe even a lafa-centric episode.
1. YES I would
2. I would think so. I have never seen a Punk in real life though!
3.I know she is too young but jessica needs to take on some of that Vampire apathy that Eric and Pam have. It makes for great conversations.
4. She showed him 2 girls 1 cup. Best reactionvideo EVER!
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I really have to disagree with you on the Sam storyline. In fact it is one of my favorite story lines. Is this the same person who reviews Vampire Diaries? The style is the same but the humor/sarcasm is way different. Oh, I'm glad the Queen storyline is done. It's way over due. ERW was awesome now lets move on.
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LOVE TRUE BLOOD!!! But are you sure that was the first boob shot of the season? I was so sure there was I boob shot in the premiere in the sex scene between Tara ("Toni") and whatever her name is... But maybe I'm mistaken..?
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i think...hmm.. Eric is no longer a vampire.. looks like a college boy
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is no one else annoyed that this moron has srolen her whole review template from the guy who reviews the vampire diaries? its quite pathetic cos (a) you're supposed to be a journalist, get your own writing style, and (b) youre not even remotely funny, in fact its quite painful to read these reviews, i actually wince at your attempts at humour.
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I loved: This magick is for you, hooker!! Hilarious.. Answers No1 Yes, No2 there is, No3 He could be one of the Sex Pistols, No4 She should & No5 Tooki his memories and his super-sized ... ego...
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Excellent episode! ANSWERS 1) Noup. 2) Yes there is. 3) Definitely mate \m/!. 4) Sure. He'll find out anyway. 5) Probably a True Blood's version of Harry Potter's Obliviate LOL.
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I learned a hell lot of historical facts in this episode; first Louis Pasteur was a vampire!(?!?..what the what?) and second, we know now who had been actually turned into the pink panther!
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i thought it was an interesting episode, the whole necromancer thing seemed interesting and Eric losing his memory adds something also interesting. is it me or did he look a lot younger when he was walking the streets when Sookie found him? also, was neat to hear Bill speak with his British accent, because that's his real speaking voice since Stephen Moyer is actually British.. and having seen Luna and the witch spy in other TV shows and movies, it was weird to see them so openly naked, especially because i had just seen the witch spy less than 4 hours earlier on ABC's airing of She's The Man lol
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http://tvrot.com/2011/07/true-blood-you-smell-like-dinner/

This reviewer also seemed to really like this episode. Interesting insights, too.
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1) I think the microwave thing is too funny. Seriously, of all the gifts to get a girl. Maybe I've been on the wrong track, and you all just really want microwaves. And I thought the front door was a good gift. 2) I like uppity Sookie. I would like to see her more reconcile herself, though, with what she truly is and not be as naive about her place in the "modern" world. 3) Good enough for me. 4) She should, maybe she will, regardless, I think we can be assured of more Hoyt-Jessica fights in the future. Also, stupid Hoyt. Idiot, saying that about your gf's blood. 5) I've read the books, don't care to hypothesize at this point. I loved this episode, too, and if things continue this way, I think we've got a great season on our hands.
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true blood never fails to entertain!! such a good show!
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Looking forward to the reveal about what has happened to Eric! The only thing I didn't really get was why Sookie wasn't more inquisitive about why, when and how Bill became king.
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Loved the flashback scenes!
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finally!! Sookie and Eric development, I've been waiting ages for thar, hate Bill and I hate that he's king now
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I'm not sure about the whole Bill/King story... I'm reading the 5th book and there is no mention of that, we will see how it works out, anyways I love True Blood!!!
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love the start. we will see about the rest
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