True Blood Season 6 in Pictures: Let's Analyze All 22 of These First-Look Photos!

A year ago, we were different people. Literally, all the cells in our body have been replaced since then. (I think. 40 percent sure that's a fact. Stopped taking science after high school, basically.) And still, our passion for True Blood remains undimmed, unchanged, as unquenchable and immortal as the vampires we've so long revered. Well sort of as passionate as ever. I'm kind of worried about Alan Ball not being in charge. I'm kind of not thrilled Bill is suddenly a naked guy covered in Hershey's syrup and food coloring. I'm a bit worried we'll spend another season in the Authority's underground parking structure of an HQ. We need to analyze these first-look pictures from Season 6 and get some answers. Won't you join me?!

Clearly this photo was taken moments after Bill and Pam emerged from the Authority's subterranean garage into the organization'sr... department of water and power generator field? There are a lot of lights. Hmmm.

Twin pregnancy weight be damned! Anna Paquin, a.k.a. Sookie Stackhouse, is still the skinniest bitch on set, thanks to her insane workout routines, take THAT Lucy Griffiths! And she's looking quite damp. Love Tara's pants. Do they have those at my local Forever 21?

BILL NOT COVERED IN BLOOD OMG WTF So can they cure him? Or is this a flashback? Even if they cure him of being Bilith, can they cure him of being a world-class asshole?

Oh my beloved Lafayette, how have I lasted without you? This is clearly Merlotte's, possibly before opening hours (at least before the lunch rush, I think we can all agree). 

The Stackhouses, looking wary of the second story of their house, and they should ALWAYS be wary. Warlo is on the loose and Sookie intentionally blasted off a lot of her powers like a real idiot last season.

Not a lot of new information with this picture. Still, appreciate the plum denim.

Hey, fresh meat! This is Rob Kazinsky playing "Ben Flynn," a "charismatic fairy" according to my Google search, although he looks gently chewed in this shot, possibly by a werewolf. 

Another fresh face! This is Jurnee Smollett-Bell as "Nicole Wright," a character coyly described as a "do-gooder," so I'm going to assume she's either a vegan masseuse or an accessories buyer at Anthropologie.

PAM you beautiful woman, how I've missed you. Chug that milk, it will give you the strength you need to do Tara's body some GOOD. Wait, vampires only drink blood. CAN WE ASSUME SHE IS PREPARING COFFEE OR TEA FOR A VISITOR?! Spoilers abound with my analysis, watch out.

This saucy minx with the throwback bangs is Willa Burrell, daughter of Governor Burrell, who "clashes with her father on vampire rights"—and judging by the cross I'm going to guess she's anti-vampire (really should be silver, tho. IS THAT A CLUE THAT IT'S NOT OMG?!) I read the Stackhouse novels a long time ago and a lot of  the pages were chewed off by my parakeet before I could read them, but I think she might be a big deal.

This is Arliss Howard as Governer Burrell, clearly speaking very slowly and carefully so "Taste of India" doesn't give him too many samosas AGAIN. Don't get me wrong, the guy who takes the orders is English First Language, he's just extremely high.

Tara's hair looking extremely great as she sits at the bar looking fierce and annoyed. Pam is possibly under the counter. WINK AMIRITE LADIES WHO LIKE LADIES?!

Alcide!! Dude has let his beard GO and he is mad-mugging either Sam or a small woman with a mullet.

Ugh, these two. Despite my feverish letter-writing campaign neither of these characters committed suicide by barreling over Niagara Falls during the break. Is Andy Bellefleur a busy single dad?! I will continue not to care.

Jessica, echewing make up and blue hair streaks and possibly IN MOURNING FOR SLAIN BILL?! Or just wearing black? Or Bill has made her become like a fundamentalist nun kind of  thing? And she's at Sookie's house?! Or the Spaghetti Factory? DISCUSS!

Spicy werebitch Rikki Naylor (a.k.a. Kelly Overton)  glaring into the middle distance, possibly right after someone has told her she'd look better in a nude lip with that dramatic eyeliner.

Academy Award-winner Glenn Close in another masterful gender-bending turn as Niall Brigant (stop SQUEALING people who've read the book, you'll spoil things!)—oh wait no this is RUTGER FREAKING HAUER?!?!?! I totally didn't recognize him!!! AAARGH I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS SEASON NOW!

Steve Newlin tried to get raspberry ketones on his lower eye area the old fashioned away. I really hope this character isn't killed off and is featured more heavily than a few torture scenes. I sort of want a spinoff about him and his wacky nerdy-sexy ways.

Sam Merlotte, looking furious, presumably after someone told him he'd look better in a nude lip with those strong brows.

Arlene and my favorite person in the world, Todd Lowe. Todd Lowe, my offer of an all-expenses-paid fishing trip—just you, me, and some brews—still stands. We'll talk about life and acting and just spend some time in quiet solitude on the lake. Hit me up buddy. DM me. Google link me. Bing it. Let's ping. I'm waiting.

Why do I suddenly want to watch Princess Bride again?

OMG article over I need to retreat to the other room and sob. The lighting here. The short hair. The clean-shaven, perfect cheekbones. This is a screengrab from my dreams and its also Eric looking truly exceptionally fine.

Okay guys. We've had some images to process. What do you glean from them? People who've read the books, feel free to chime in as we've gone so, so, so far off course I don't think it'll hurt.




... Bill is okay now or flashback?

... Why is Eric glowing like that?

..."Do-gooder" means...?

... Has Jessica put aside her wild ways/hair streaks? What does Bill's transformation mean for her?


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