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True Blood's Season 5 Premiere: Turn This Mother Out

True Blood S05E01: "Turn! Turn! Turn!"

There are few televised experiences that transport me more thoroughly off my futon than taking in True Blood, and last night I breathed the swamp air, I felt the damp chill of a storage container, and I was hungry like the wolf.

Last year the Season 4 premiere threw the characters and action forward a year; last night the Season 5 opener literally backtracked to a few minutes before the end of last season's finale. Alan Ball, in his last season running HBO's best dramedy clearly does not intend to waste a minute of time unfolding the fates of his characters and dismantling the love triangle that's so long been the heart of the series.

A ton of silver was thrown onto the True Blood love triangle last night, literally and figuratively. We saw Eric and Bill resist Sookie's distress as they cleaned Nan Flanagan off the floor, and when Bill caved he and Eric were netted by the Authority and thrown into the trunk of a car like two hunky bags of sexy potatoes. These two are seriously turning into a pair of buddy cops out of Lethal Weapon 4, bantering suavely no matter how threatened their lives are or how deep the burn waffle pattern is seared into their faces (the supercut of face burns on this show would probably run 15 minutes). When Eric and Bill ingeniously blew up the car, they revealed another vampire was in play both in their plans for escape in and in the emotional landscape of the show: Eric's foxy "sister" Nora (Lucy Griffiths), who'd arranged to Vampire Underground Railroad our favorite nerd king and vanilla stallion out of Louisiana.

And in the moment Eric placed his tongue 24 inches down her gullet, it was clear that those of us who read the Southern Vampire Mysteries are going to have to mentally unmarry ourselves from the source material's interpretation of Eric's undying love for Sookie, and accept that Alan Ball is moving focus away from a lovelorn threesome in the interest of making the most of the phalanx of amazing characters he's built. He wants to give all his favorite characters a proper season before he says goodbye to the series, and it seems he's quite fed up worrying about Sookie's boy troubles.

So while Sookie was picking brains off her linoleum, Eric was banging his sister wildly in a clammy tin box down by the docks. Is there anything sexier than doin' it in a storage container? Maybe foreplay in a dumpster, filled with dirty cheese graters.

Up until now, Sookie really has had very little to do outside of worry about Bill and Eric (except for dalliances with werewolves and the disposal of bodies) Her first day as a single woman certainly didn't seem like a fun one, burying Tara alongside a begrudging Pam (who hilariously went to ground in running shoes and a yellow Wal-Mart sweatsuit with a picture of a kitten on it) in an attempt to resurrect Tara as a vampire. Pam's warning that Tara might rise from the ground "f-cktarded" made me immediately jealous of Tara's situation.

Having Pam as your maker (that's vampire for mom) would seriously be the best life, ever. Tara's storyline went from constantly sucking to being the most promising one in the bunch the moment Pam's blood hit her mouth, even if bath-salts Tara tackled Sookie immediately after the vampire juices fully kicked in (I have no doubt she's furious/partly brain-'sploded and rageful, but also Sookie and Tara fight in EVERY season premiere so really Tara's zombie tackle was just tradition.)

Despite Sookie's terrible, awful, no-good, very bad first day of being single and having to bleach blood off her kitchen floor for what is seriously the seventh or eighth time in the series, her problems still pale in comparison next to Lafayette's.

In every person's life there hides a day of despair, a day that will push you momentarily past hope and to the very limits of your human endurance. And chances are you will spend that day looking hilarious. What True Blood does that no other show about supernatural creatures manages or bothers to do is embed recognizable, authentic life moments in its ludicrous fantasy storyline. Something about Lafayette's dirty-kneed pajama pants, puzzling hoody and Basquiat-inspired hairdo really struck a chord. He was clearly crawling through the worst day of his life, reflecting on the memories of killing Jesus while possessed and confronting life without his partner and BFF cousin. Nelson Ellis got several standalone moments to show us all that he is seriously the best cowboy at the emotional rodeo and also a kind of chillingly authentic moment that proved he wasn't down and out yet—after we saw him despairingly glance at a Bic razor in the tub, he emerged a few scenes later with his ridiculous little toque of a wiglet shaved from his head. Reclaiming control over his appearance is symbolic of him regaining control of his life, and it was well handled.

This authenticity of emotion is even more fun when it comes from a vampire: Steve Newlin's amazing coming-out scene with Jason was one of the better treatises on how people would probably use newly-attained vampire powers. Like a baby vampire using his glamour power to get his crush to hear him out? Yes. That is such an endearingly relatable and yet "noob" move. And Jason certainly got one of the better-penned responses to an unrequited crush I've heard on TV. (Lead with gratitude, close with clarity. Do not ask for a loan. Do not ask for a back rub.)

More authenticity: Jason and Jessica's awkward negotiation of their relationship and Jason's continued march toward maturity. Jessica declared Jason "MINE" to prevent Steve Newlin from coveting Jason's carb-starved body, and the ensuing confusion over their relationship status is feels very real. Jessica is behaving like a tenth-grade dork who suddenly finds herself body-switched with the most popular girl in school, putting streaks in her hair and playing Rock Band.

And for Jason, whose recurring theme has been the loss of identity after his high school life came to a close, the combination of Jessica's youthful escapades and power to protect him makes her just that much more appealing and yet just that much more inaccessible. It feels real, is what I'm saying about this relationship, and these actors are killing it, even if Ryan Kwanten seriously looks like his body acids are eating through what's left of his .000017% body fat, painfully, in every scene. You are taking "looking fit" to a painful place, Ryan Kwanten.

Do I really have to talk about the werewolves and the shifters? Okay fine. The werewolves: If True Blood's vampires are a thinly veiled metaphor for being gay in America, then the werewolves are an even more blatant metaphor for meth addicts, and they are the worst. Like, they want to honor their fallen pack leader so hard they might KILL HIS ONLY CHILD to do it? That makes sense.

Sam Merlotte was jumping at the chance to get his shirt off and be tortured by them for information, as he clearly spent the off-season in the HBO Gym, the Bowflex machines gathered into a circle-the-wagons formation as he and Hoyt and Eric and Jason and Christopher Meloni mad-dogged each other and pumped iron, the smell of protein-powder farts blanketing the room. Sam, your pecs look great but you still have the most boring storyline ever, spending almost every scene across from a grip of extras we don't care about, threatening to turn into an owl.

And it all led to the lady from Winter's Bone morphing into a wolf to eat her son's dead body (not the same actress, but the exact same character). Do I find that shocking? Frankly no, if anything it seems kind of resourceful? Have fun. Or kill Sam, or whatever, yawn.

Terry: Are you a firestarter? Time will tell I guess. Todd Lowe is one of my favorite actors so please, give him something juicy to do this season.

This premiere re-ignited all my old anxieties over my beloved True Blood characters, characters I have fretted happily about for years. While it appears this will certainly be a hard season for Sookie, almost every other character on the show has been given better things to do. Eric and Bill have a spy novel to star in, Lafayette's life has turned into a gripping Greek tragedy, Tara will get to buddy up with my beloved Pam, the shifters and werewolveszzzzzz. If Alan Ball is excising the love triangle from this season, I have every confidence he'll ensure we don't feel its absence too harshly. But it seems like Sookie will.

QUESTIONS:

1. What is going on with Terry?

2. Is Pam your ideal maker, or Bill, or Eric, or...?

3. Did you find yourself immediately liking Nora/Lucy Griffiths?

4. Are the muscles on this show getting a little embarrassing? Like, does ANYONE in the South actually look like this?!

5. Are you excited for the focus to drift from the Eric-Sookie-Bill love triangle, or do you need the core romance to enjoy the series?

6. What was your favorite part of the premiere?

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You forgot add that whole Andy/Holly scene. WTF was THAT?
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Loved the last screencap about the cats...priceless. 1. Terry...hmm well Rene said that homeboy there(cant remember his name but I mean Terry's Capt or whatever) was trouble, and he seemed pretty off to me...I think he's gunna cause some issues for Terry and Arlene. (BTW I hope they dont go the way with Arlene that they did in the books cuz they totally villanize her character later on in the books n I really like TB Arlene.) 2. I love Pam esp TB Pam but Eric.. I love me some Eric... 3. I liked Nora instantly, however I think their having sex was just a thing because they've been "siblings" for a long time and are close...I don't think it nessacerily negates his feelings for Sook. But maybe I'm just too hopeful, cuz it was hard watching Eric say f*ck sookie and leave her there in distress. In fact I thought that was really lame considering that all she did was say she wouldn't be with either of them right then cuz she didn't want to hurt either of them.... gone a little too far on that one I think Alan...I just have a hard time believing that Eric would let Sookie die just because she rejected him romantically... 4. I think it is a bit unrealistic how chisled all the men on the show are but hey...its tv I guess.. 5. I don't need the show to focus on that all the time but like I've said I'm very Team Eric and Sookie so I hope they go back to that and don't completely kill the love between them...or worse.. have her end up with Bill or Sam...ugh. 6. My favorite part was when they were surrounded by the authority def an OH SH*T moment...
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Godric will always be the top 1 maker to me, but Pam more than earned a strong second place when she put on a sweat suit and allowed herself to be bury HOLDING her progeny-to-be despite she doesn't even like Tara. That's the hallmark of a great maker right there!
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I hope he reappears via flashback-allucination-dream!!!! they realized too late how beloved he was....he shouldn't have died! lafayette was also supposed to die in the books but he didn't on TV (thank god), it's a pity that didn't happen to godric....
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PAM all the way...
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"DON'T FUCKING MOVE."

Best ending to a premiere ever. Utter perfection.
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OK... That "Not angry... just disappointed" image made me lol...
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I hope this season is better than the last. Alan Ball! You're so brilliant, please make True Blood good again! xo
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I thought this episode was too jumbled. There were so many storylines happening and that werewolf crap just confused things. Just as soon as you get into a scene- BAM! - werewolves in a barn talking about packmasters and eating the guy and all that. I don't like the werewolves in the book series either so I guess it's consistent.
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My favorite part was the female werewolf coming to get sam, wearing nothing but long hair. Yum...
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Would have been better if she had short hair. ;)
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Welcome back True Blood!! I totally enjoyed this premiere. Tare is so lucky. She gets Pam as a maker, but Tara's not gonna see it that way. Sookie and Lafayette are in trouble when Tara has time to gain control. 1. I just think Terry doesn't want to be reminded of what he went through while serving. 2. I love Pam, but Eric would totally be my maker of choice. 3. Nora was fine in her introduction, but I still won't be clamoring for Eric and Nora anytime in the near future or ever. 4.Never get embarrassed of the muscles on this show with the men, never!! 5. I wasn't expecting to see any loving between Eric & Sookie this season since it ended in book 4 anyway. As for Bill, I am happy that they will not focus on Bill & Sookie. I will have a problem with the series if it doesn't end with something more with Eric & Sookie. 6. Seeing Eric and his speed cleaning. Pam in the Wal-Mart jump suit and Tara rising from her grave. I thought I would be happy Tara died, but her becoming a Vamp and Pam's child had possibilities..
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"5. I wasn't expecting to see any loving between Eric & Sookie this season since it ended in book 4 anyway"

**Book Spoilers***Have u read all the books? Cuz book 4 is really only the beginning of Sookie and Eric, they do kind of step back from that relationship for a few books but she ends up with Eric later on in the series....Book 4 is really only the tip of the iceburg for them.. Although I agree wholeheartedly with you that they should focus on Eric and Sookie again in the show in the future...since I'm so shamelessly Team Eric that its retarted lol
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Loved Pam (as always), loved Eric's speed-cleaning and I love Russel being back!

Oh, and of course Eric just calls Nora his 'sister' because Godric made/turned them both - there is no incest in that!



I'm so happy True Blood is back, it'll make the summer even better :)

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Soooooo excited True Blood is baaaaaaack!!!!!! As well as your reviews!!!!! Fantastic premiere, loved every minute - minus the idiot werewolf/shapeshifter scenes, ....as for your questions: 1. I don't think there's anything wrong with Terry. I think the problem is with his navy friend....usually a guest on the show is the bad/wierd person; 2. Ideal maker is of course Eric Eric Eric! He is just soo yummy!!!!! 3. Yeah I kind of liked Norah, she's a badass too....hope to see more of her this season....4. Yeah the muscles are kind of funny sometimes actually.....but that's the way this show rolls :) 5. Yes I'm so tired of the Eric-Sookie- Bill love triangle I want to see something completely new this season...6. I loved the whole entire premiere except for maybe a few scenes with the werewolves.... Can't wait for Sunday!!!!!!
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Great season premiere!! I'm sooo glad Pam is getting back to her beautiful self instead of horribly cursed, diseased & grotesque! She played that part well, but it was too much to bear during her near demise in Season Four. My favorite line in the S5-1 episode was surely the "f*cktarded" comment from Pam regarding Tara's possible outcome. As far as Tara turning, bravo! She's already in need of more anger management, but perhaps her new-found lesbian life (Season 4 folks) may mix well with Pam's "anything pretty goes" sex life ;) If anything it should provide some comic relief with Tara being Pam's progeny. There is so much more to comment on about the episode but Lily nailed it quite well! Here's my thoughts on Lily's questions: "1. What is going on with Terry?" We may never really know. Surely Rene's warning has something to do with it. "2. Is Pam your ideal maker, or Bill, or Eric, or...? " Eric. He's just so yummy. "3. Did you find yourself immediately liking Nora/Lucy Griffiths?" Who? Oh, sister-slut. "4. Are the muscles on this show getting a little embarrassing? Like, does ANYONE in the South actually look like this?! " The muscles and the soft-turning-hardcore porn is getting embarassing (Eric/Nora) "5. Are you excited for the focus to drift from the Eric-Sookie-Bill love triangle, or do you need the core romance to enjoy the series?" Ecstatic over the change! Sorry but I just think Sookie needs to quit being the tease of the show. "6. What was your favorite part of the premiere?" The new Tara/Pam relationship of course!! My question to all: When do we get to see super-sexy Christopher Meloni? I stopped watching "SVU" when he left! A closing thought: Did we really need to see Sheriff Andy's naked body with a screamingly scary, coyote ugly Holly? My lord! PS: Lily-run your spell checker :)
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Lily I love u but im from new Orleans and have lived outside of Shreveport and no one I know or have ever seen acts, speaks, or does anything remotely the way Louisiana is portrayed in true blood. I love the show but the accents are not correct at all. It annoys the hell out of me that the only correct accent was Renee's but you will never find that accent past the swamps outside of new Orleans. A creole would never be anywhere but there as they all work gathering seafood because they live so close to the water. Renee being a fake is proof of that. In the south the accent is mostly just a drawl. We speak slower but not the hard heavy middle of nowhere Mississippi accent they portray on the show. You may be right about the fat thing though. But that's all over the country now and at least the food here is the best in the world. Just wanted u to know that the shows portrayal of Louisiana is mostly bullshit. Lol. Carry on, Lily.
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I was lucky enough to spend about a week in New Orleans and it still literally haunts my dreams. I've heard that complaint from true Southerners before, that they can't listen to True Blood because the accents go from Foghorn Leghorn to genuinely bewildering. All my extended family (literally ALL my extended family, both sides) are from Texas, and when I hear a really bad Texas accent it grates on my nerves, so I can understand if its hard to get past. You'd think it'd be easy enough to get a linguist sit down and go over some basic vowel approximations. And yet, don't abs speak all languages?

Anyway, who is the worst offender, in your opinion, in terms of bad accents?
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The moment Eric said "Fu** Sookie!", I yelled Hallelujah so loud my mom came into my room to see what was wrong. I couldn't stop grinning!
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I so would not do that with my sister. Even though I am from Sweden xD
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Neither would I... and I'm from Sweden too.
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I feel like this review needs some proactive criticism. I think with the style in which Lilly writes it would be very natural for her to do deliver "criticism without being critical." She did that slightly with the mention of the Shifters vs. Werewolves, but it did little to prove any point or thesis. For example, in the second paragraph, it is mentioned that Eric and Bill "ingeniously blew up the car," I can't tell if that is sarcasm or she actually thought that was resourceful, because that was probably the silliest in the entire episode! As Tim said, this is "fun garbage," and that should be the direction of each article, not just in the photo-caps but also in the text of article. This almost seems like a puff piece.
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Understand, but Lily's going to write her articles how ever she wants to write them. The "criticism without being critical" approach is exactly why I visit these photorecaps, especially for a show like True Blood.
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I'm sorry, but Pam steals every episode of True Blood. She is the best character and yet she still only gets short scenes. Anyway, I LOVE that she is Tara's maker... the storylines possible with them two... I'm excited. I hope they really explore Pam and Tara's new mother/daughter/maker relationship. PLEASE. Oh, less werewolves please and could we maybe have even more shirtless boys? Looking at you Bill.
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Alan's headed out the door and its pretty clear he's always given Kristen Bauer the best lines so I'm hoping this season is one long love letter to Pam. She's always been my favorite.
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1. Best idea - they whole platoon was cursed while in Afghanistan by someone local, hence the fires

2. Doesn't matter - it can always go the wrong way (Bill and Lorena)

3. "Dat ass" + the accent

4. I guess bodybuilders doesn't care if they are from the south or not

5. Hell yeah. Something new was necessary on that part. Hence more fairies this season

6. "She's my sister" he said - made me burst with laughter



I can honestly say - I don't see the point of Hoyt or Sheriff Bellefleur anymore in the show.

....

I don't understand Tara turning into vampire. What would the show gain?! She should have been killed of after season 2. The character was at its prime back then.

....

I'm a bit disappointed about the uneventfulness considering season 4 finale scenes:

- No threat to Jason whatsoever. Had a good laugh with that scene, but not threat at all after we were let to believe otherwise.

- Tara's half fracking head is blown over the kitchen and suddenly Pam decides to show up 10 minutes (one summer) later?!

- Sam was to be attacked by werewolves. And they decided to turn into humans and ask questions. Even a halfwit shifter would take the opportunity to fly away.



They belittled last season finale way too much.



And yet a good start to the season.
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Is it too much to hope Tara does come back fucktarded and they have to put her down? Don't answer, let me dream.
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Awesome Premiere! I loved the way the story played out while leaving a few things to the imagination. Terry had some great scenes and clearly his PTSD was kicking in. My ideal vampire maker would be Jessica. Nora was phenomenal! Yes down south is where a lot of military live and come from. I am excited to focus on things other than the Eric-Sookie-Bill love triange. I loved how dark Sookie is becoming and Lafayette's scenes were amazing. I liked how Russell Edgington's return was slightly touched upon leaving a lot to be imagined.
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Love Lucy Griffiths!!! Missed her so much!! I hope she lasts the whole season!

Oh, and we've had to "mentally unmarry ourselves from the source material's interpretation" since season 2. Even Charlaine Harris says the show is a completely different story than what she wrote.
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I really loved how last season stayed sort of true to Erik and Sookie's relationship starting, and how almost childishly vulnerable he was, and how that showed us another side of a figure who was until then pretty scary...there are threads of the book they weave in, but it seems like Ball has taken Erik's devotion in the books and transferred it to Bill...Bill is a lot less protective of Sookie in the books.But then, Anna is having a baby with Stephen Moyer currently so perhaps that's leading the writers to go with the organic underpinnings of the actor's emotions to influence the ultimate arc.
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I'd like to think the actors are professional enough to play their parts irregardless of real-life circumstance. And it's true that the producers incorporated a couple of main plot points (the witches, Eric's memory loss, and his time with Sookie) from the novel for season 4. But if I had a dollar, I'd bet you two that they won't come close to the book for season 5.

I suppose they can still use the sniper-shooting-shifters storyline, the vampire pirate bartender, and they can still set Sookie's kitchen on fire; but they'll have to drop Calvin, Dawson, Claudine, and Jackson, and probably the Packmaster contest, which means no Quinn (boo!)

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1. I just think Terry's PTSD is flaring back up again (hardcore). 2). Oh, such a hard decision. Pam has some of the best one liners, but then again isn't half the reason we love her is because Eric is her maker. Bill, well half the reason I like him is because his interaction with Jessica is just so sweet. Final answer Pam, no Eric. Wait . . . Pam. 3). Uh, I think I only liked her because she got with Eric. So I guess maybe it was just envy. FYI people I'm pretty sure Eric said Godric was their maker so their not biological related plus wasn't Eric actual family killed by vampires. 4). No of course not, as long as Alcide has no shirt on I don't care what story line they give him. 5). Yeah, I guess. I don't know I've always been the type that enjoyed side character romances more. 6). I really like Jason's coming on age story line especially in the car. Loved the Eric/Bill bromance. Oh, and Pam. Obviously. Also, excited for Stabler, vampire Tara (hopefully she'll be more like S1 Tara though.)
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From the moment Jason was glamored I was worried Jason was going to be raped again. I know some found Newlin's coming out and confessing his crush to Jason sweet, but I feel he might have over looked some things. First of all, when confessing your clearly unrquited love don't force your way into your crush's home when he's expecting his girlfriend and/or in an advanced state of undress. Infact don't do that period. Forcing your way in with mind tricks does not seem that much different to drugging your crush at the very least. That combined with the lack of clothing means that the object of your offection is very likely not going to respond in an honest fashion, especially if they are aware that they've been druged/ mind

f--ed. I know if someone drugged me and forced their way into my home while I was wearing little if no clothing and then started to go on about how much they wanted me, espcially if I had already recently spent time being repeatedly raped, I would be as calm and understanding as I could be until I could figure out how to get the That isn't even taking into account that Newlin had at one point attempted to kill Jason and Sookie and assorted other vampires and humans using one of Jason's friends as a suicide bomber, which kind of screams terrorist. Also Newlin never really struck me as totally stable. As nicely as Jason gave his rejection it's still possible that Newlin would have reacted badly in a variety of ways, from trashing the place to making Jason change his answer whether he liked it or not.
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I was SO happy when Eric cleaned up at super vamp speed. So many times in TV shows with characters with super speed they do things at normal speed-- always! So glad that they showed him speed-cleaning... It's the little things in life... :)
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It was an okay episode. Pam has some awesome quotes, as always. I think Nora is Eric's 'sister' in a sense they were both sired (made) by Godric. I can't wait to see Christopher Meloni. Stabler as a vampire, pretty damn cool
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I was so damn excited for Trueblood to finally come back and I was not disappointed. I love that all the characters get storylines unlike the books, i find it insane and entertaining as hell. I was laughing crazily over the whole Reverend Newlin coming out to Jason that was the best scene. I'm glad they are getting away from the threesome that is Sookie/Eric/Bill which was getting a little grating. I like Jessica but the Jason/Jessica thing is not really doing it for me. Bring on the Tara/Pam scenes, that will be interesting. Can't wait for each new episode, should be a fun ride...
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lol I love Pam "I'm wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for ya'll. If that's not a demonstration of team spirit I don't know what is." & "How do I know she's not gonna rise up from the ground all fucktarded?"



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I gotta say: I wasn't looking forward for that premiere. Last season's "True Blood" was hardly great, and, except to figure out how they would un-kill Tara, I wasn't expecting much from it... thank God I was dead wrong!



This was fun: Bill & Eric's Excellent Adventures'; Sookie worrying about something else than who she must choose to sleep with; the coming-of-age of Jason Stackhouse; Rev. Steve Fucking Newlin's coming-out speech; Eric being hot for his hot sister; the return of The Big Bad (hey Russell! How was that meal?); Sam Merlotte: shifter-saint (seriously, give it up for that dude and all the nonsense he has to deal with, even though most of them ain't even his damn fault!); and even Andy Belfour's one-night-stand... this was fun!



The thing is, though, "True Blood" always start up its seasons strong; it's its ending that are usually hit-and-misses. So wait and see if Ball can sustain the great momentum he got going right now - hopefully, this time around, he can.
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That's exactly how I feel, start strong end but end with a limp. That's been going on since season 2. After looking around the web and looking at reviews not just for this episode but for the next three, most have been pretty favorable with a few mixed reviews. The only really negative review I've seen was from Dan Fienberg, which was expected. Let's hope they can make a good season, and not end with a limp like usual.
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lol no one cares about terry.i'm really liking the jason and jessica part tho.
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Let me start by saying I thought the opening episode of S05 was better than anything S04 had to offer mainly due to Eric getting his bad-ass groove back (I just seriously missed Alex's perfect delivery of dry wit). That said why-oh-why did you not kill Tara?!?!? Seeing her brains being blown off was probably my favourite bit of S04 and I can only hope this was a metaphor to the 'blowing off' of her entire character arc/ personality and by pairing her with Pam making her scenes bearable to watch (love Pam!). Thank god the Sookie/Bill/Eric love triangle is abandoned for now, not sure I could sit through another season of Sookie playing house with her vampire of the of the month. One major disappointment was the writer's decision to yet again split the story line amongst minor characters no one really cares about (I mean if you can't come up with interesting plot lines to fill 45 minutes then I'd rather sit through 30 min of TB instead of having to skip Andy/Sam/Terry scenes all season long). One can only hope Alcide's character is going somewhere this season. Loved Nora, it's about time the writers allow for another female character to steal some of Sookie's thunder and finally, can't wait for Christopher Meloni to make his first appearance!
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And also, don't give Andy and Holly a storyline for this season..Keep them in the background..Not everyone needs a story on here..Becoming cluttered..
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I like Andy.
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Related question: do you own a bull dog?
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Actually laughed out loud at this one. Fantastic.
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I also think the season premieres can be a bit on the boring side, but this one wasn't completely D.O.A. I don't see how things couldn't get better from the looks of what's to come..I'm excited..But, like last season, here is my biggest complaint: Spend a little less time giving everyone a storyline. For example, Terry..Come on..Really? Are viewers attached enough to this character to even care about a backstory? Keep him in the kitchen, and him and Arlene can say some funny stuff from time to time..Same for Hoyt: Don't care. Stupid. Wasting valuable story lines and taking away from the central characters..Let's keep the focus on Sookie, Eric, Bill, Tara, Lafayette, Sam, Pam, Alcide, and sometimes Jason and Jessica..Still think Jason should have became a werepanther..
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They should leave Tara dead because honestly I think the writers hate her anyways. Taras character is always being mistreated and used while at the same time killing her lovers and giving her the WORST plot-lines possible. Shes like the Bonnie of True Blood in a since.
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Honestly, I thought it was terrible and a horrible start for the season. It was such a mess, everything felt so boring, uninteresting and predictable. This was a huge problem for me because even at its worst, True Blood has always managed to be entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I mean I'm still excited and looking forward to: Christopher Meloni, the return and revenge of Russell and the Pam- Tara dynamic.

- As for Tara, much like everyone I totally saw coming her being turned into a vampire by Pam. I still don't know how I feel exactly about this storyline. I mean I wish she would of just stayed dead. For a moment, I thought maybe she is going to stay dead... but then I quickly realized they don`t have the balls to do that. Frankly, it was a total copout.

At first I really liked Tara, but by S3-4 I seriously just wanted her to die or leave forever. She turned into this annoying and whinny character. I was actually kind of glad when they killed her off as I felt she had served her purpose. Hopefully now that she's a vampire, she will grow and evolve as a character. I really hope they make her into this badass yet sassy Tara, a new and better Tara. No more whining and complaining!

- Nora = Meh

- What's up with HBO's obsession- trend with incest? Just look at Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones.

- Oh Alcide... they seriously have to give you a storyline and a decent one.

- Another thing that really bugged me: the missing body. I mean I liked Jesus, but what was the point of killing him off? I have a feeling they're going to bring him back somehow and that would defeat the whole purpose of his death. He needs to stay dead!
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I did not like Jesus. I found him somehow both boring and silly. I hate when supporting characters have supporting characters.
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Trending incest is cool :P
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I think those were soe of my thoughts too, but that seems to be the trend with these True Blood openers. The following episode(s) are always so much better.



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1. Terry - Maybe a firestarter? Maybe the Military made him take drugs/pills to boost performance and he began to start fire with his thoughts.



2. Eric all the way



3. Kind of still iffy on Nora.



4. Not everyone in the south looks like this. I mean 3/4 of americans are over weight! Get over it, some people eat too much.



5. Thankfully it drifted away, but I heard she may have a fling with McWolfy!



6. Steve Newland coming out to Jason! Loved it, knew he was gay!
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Glad that Tara is still on the show. She is amazing. Would have prefer her as a witch though.
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Thank you for giving some love to Tara!! I'm tired of everybody complaining about her. Yea, she's a bitch...but wouldn't you be with everything she's had to go through?? Although I've been saying for a while she needs to get the hell out of Bon Temps and stay out, but yea it'll be interesting to see how even more tough as nails she will be as a vamp. I do agree, I was hoping her to become a witch or ghost or something other than a vampire.
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I found this episode to be a crazy, almost completely nonsensical mess. With that being said, I enjoyed most of it, and actually loved a few parts. Pam was my highlight for this episode, and has been getting universal acclaim for this episode. I enjoy the Eric/Bill bromance, and I found Nora to be quite sexy, so I'm looking forward to seeing what she does. Sookie and Lafayette were fun, and like the Alcide/Lala confrontation. Even the Sam stuff was kind of fun, better than the bullshit drama last season with his brother. And Kelly Overton, the nude wolf, was HOT! I like that Jessica is on her way to being a potential badass, but I hope that the writers didn't bring the ANTI-FACE of vampires Steve Newlin back just to fall in love with Jason. I'd like to see what effect he will have on the public, so I hope his return isn't a waste. I DO NOT CARE about anything with the Bellefleurs, they are the epitome of support characters and don't deserve any screentime by themselves. Tara back as a vampire seems to be split, I wish she would of just stayed dead, but I'm open to seeing how she acts as a vampire. Interesting how Steve Newlin and Tara Thornton, two people who loathed vampires, are vampires themselves. Of course, the BIG SELL of this season is The Authority and Russell's return, and I look forward to both of those. Not the best episode, but a breath of fresh air after last season, and I'm looking forward to what comes next!
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Oh and another thing, GREAT REVIEW LILY!
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1. What is going on with Terry? I really really really really don't care, he's a nive characater, but his story bores me.



2. Is Pam your ideal maker, or Bill, or Eric, or...? ERICCCCCCCCCCCC



3. Did you find yourself immediately liking Nora/Lucy Griffiths? NOt really, in fact I felt the sex scene was too fast, if we're suposse to buy this new relation ship between Eric and her I think they made a mistake, they already kissed and have sex, what else can we wait? Although I really enjoy the scene where they fight over the cell phone, I like the brother-sister interaction.



4. Are the muscles on this show getting a little embarrassing? Like, does ANYONE in the South actually look like this?! That's funny, one of the reason I don't feel atracted to Alcide it's that, too much muscles!



5. Are you excited for the focus to drift from the Eric-Sookie-Bill love triangle, or do you need the core romance to enjoy the series? I'm on my twenties so I should grow up, but I can't help but want Sookie & Eric to be together, I know it's no gonna happen any time soon (may be never), but I just cant help it, besides that, as I said, it was everything so fast! I wasn't expecting to see Eric or Bill crying for Sookie, but they, specially Eric moved so fast! Only hours ago he was looking at Sookie with puppies dog



6. What was your favorite part of the premiere? All the Pam's scenes! She my heroine!



PS: Sorry for my english!
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Best line of the episode: "We fight like siblings. But we fuck like champions." Eric Northman, ladies and gentlemen. I laughed so hard at that.



I have to say my least favorite part of the episode was when Tara woke up. I've never particularly liked her character, but beyond that I felt it was a cop-out. The more mature writing would be to let her die-to truly kill off a major character.



Favorite part was probably Rev. Noolan coming out to Jason. So awkdorable.
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yeah I had a problem with the Tara turning into a vamp thing. Surely you can't turn someone into a vamp if they are already dead. they are supposed to die with the blood in their system. The woman was clearly dead!
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I don't get how people call Season 2 the best season. The Maynad storyline is probably the worst storyline in all of True Blood. I never thought I'd say this, but there's such a thing as too many orgies.

The first half of season 2 was AMAZING! Godrick is the greatest single character to ever grace True Blood with his presence, but once he died holy crap did the season go to shit.
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The maenad arc was pretty bad, but the rest of the season focused on the most interesting story we've seen so far: the conflict between vampires and religious nut humans. The stuff about Jason at the religious camp was fantastic.



I totally agree about Godric. Easily the best character we've seen on the show. Great performance by the actor. It was like he was born to play that part, and then he only got to do it for what, ten minutes total? I wish they had kept him around longer.



So I think you answered it yourself. Season 2 was the best because the rest of the season was so good that the maenad arc couldn't bring it down to the level of seasons 3 or 4. The only season that can compete with 2 is 1, but it was a bit too slow.
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Okay, Godric was cool. Why is he so great though? Eric's maker, nice tattoos, definitely a good actor and character...but the "greateast single character to ever grace True Blood with his presence"? Dunno about that. To each his own though.
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It must be summer as we are back to the madness, nakedness and chiselled abs that is True Blood. I thought it was a pretty strong crazy premiere and hope S05 recovers the edge after a very irregular S04 Everyone had enough of the love triangle so glad it's gone (for now I guess)



It was pretty awesome that within the first minutes we had Eric high-speed cleaning, the reverend newly vampire and newly self-declared gay declaring his feelings to an ever fitter Jason and Pam (yeah Pam!!!) in a Wal Mart yellow pyjamas with little kittens, buried next to Tara.... Give it a few more minutes for Eric naked (praise....) and shagging his vamp-sister



Can't wait to see what's next...
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I think my favourite maker is pam, she is awesome, and I want Tara dead, come on not even pam can save that. And totally agree pam wearing sweatpants was the best!!
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1 - I think Terry was part of something back in Iraq but I don't necessarily think he's the one starting those fires. Maybe there's a possesion going on, I definitely have a feeling.

2 - Pam is the perfect Maker! I think we're all on the same side here. It's exciting that Tara is her 'child' because their characters are both very bold and verbal. I'd love seeing them in a fight.

3 - Strangely enough, I IMMEDIATELY loved Nora! I'm a total Sookie/Eric-shipper (due to the books) but Nora is just perfect. When I first found out about about bringing in a character that's not in the books I was very sceptical but what a great choice!

4 - That's just TV, I can't complain at all ;)

5 - It feels like Season 5 is a fresh start and if the love triangle has to back down a little, so be it. I didn't totally agree with the way they did it anyway. As I mentioned before, I'm all for Sookie and Eric but right now the story wouldn't work anywhere near that.

6 - My favorite part had to be Pam in those hilarious sweatpants. But she just managed so well and really pulled it off gracefully. Another scene I absolutely loved was Rev Newlin declaring his love to Jason. Steve Newlin is gonna be awesome this season!
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i actually did not care for it that much. they jumped into way too much stuff at once.
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Your photo recaps blow next to Price's... I've given you a shot twice and you suck. Too bad Price isn't doing True Blood, because you're bad...
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Go away and don't read her reviews then....
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You say 'Ive given you a shot twice' as if she is begging for your approval. Get over yourself.



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@ Meba, ludoTV, and every1 who replied to this:



DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!
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Lily doesn't do "photorecaps", she does recaps with significant photos. And I like her style, and her point of view. If you don't, it's a free world, go read something else!
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I do not always agree with Lily's reviews but in how does this type of comment help anything in any way....
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While I do not always agree with Lily's reviews, I do find her photo recaps hilarious. I loved her Once Upon A Time photo recaps and I loved the ones here (especially the Kirsten Stewart? one in the werewolf pic). So basically, Michael Bomer, I feel like you are just being a troll. You don't like her photo recaps, fine. But don't attack her for it. Just avoid looking at them. I'm sure you can't do better, sir, so shut it and move along.



Lily, keep up the good work!
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I wish there was a thumbs down button. FUCK OFF!!!
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Go away you troll.
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Ugh will you please go away.
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1) Terry is probably cursed or something with his fellow buddies after something they did in Iraq I'd guess and the fire is linked to it.

2) Any, all are just as good :)

3) If they can make her part of Bill and Eric's badassery then hopefully she could be a good addition to newly formed trio.

4) Everyone has to be ripped in Bon Temps, just as everyone must be linked to some supernatural power. It's how the show rolls.

5) Definitely, the show needs a refresher and this could do the trick. I reckon moving away will do the show some justice or it might feel stale.

6) Lafayette standing up to Alcide was pretty sweet, but many awesome moments overall.
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I think that the absence of the love triangle gave me restored faith in True Blood. This season looks like it will be just as good as the second, maybe better.



I think Pam is the perfect maker for Tara, its actually kinda poetic.



I was drawn to Nora, but a little irritated that they automatically had her boning Eric in a freaking storage container.
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True Blood following Game of Thrones should be dessert after a great meal. Instead it feels disjointed and tired. The only story line I found that might be interesting is Edgington.
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I was a big fan of True Blood during the first two seasons, but this show has been falling part ever since. This premier has branched out to include multiple story lines for which this season's plot can develop, but none of them seem very captivating. We have Bill and Eric's excellent revolution against the order, even more Shifters vs Werewolves, the it-wasn't-that-it's-this-now Terry and the ghost fire, and just-to-give-her-something-new-to-bitch-about Tara as a vampire. Besides this there are a plethora of side stories. We got more awkward, taboo sex stuff (I honestly see Ball thinking to himself "Well Jason was raped by some were-panther underage girls last season, so lets have him get raped by a gay vampire this time" and, "Lets have some vampire sex in the season opener, but lets have them call each other brother-sister, just be edgy!), and the return of the never-say-die vampire King. What we have is WAY to much plot and no substance (and some B roll lameo flashbacks-- no one picks you for kick ball, Sookie, really?). I feel this season will be a convoluted mess. Lets get back to basics-- one main story arch, and side-stories for character development. That's it.
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Let's just hope that most of these stories intertwind with each other. Most of them just seem to go in their own direction, but I have a feeling most of them will glue together. Then again, I could be wrong, we'll see.
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1. Who really cares what's happening with Terry? Just like last year with the demon baby story that went nowhere, the supporting characters are great in their supporting roles but who wants to see whole storylines devoted to Arlene and Terry and Andy? Keep it simple and cut down on the extra characters and their boringness.



2. Eric seems like the ideal maker because he is loyal. But Pam seems like she could be a good maker if she likes you, and it wouldn't suck having Eric as a grand-maker.



5. My favorite part of the premiere was Rev. Newlin, Jason and Jessica. They are underrated in terms of acting skills and, like you mentioned, their story is being portrayed in a realistic manner. But I am very interested in Eric and Bill's story with the authority, and what Russel Eddington will bring to the table as long as it doesn't simply revolve around Sookie being in danger all season long.
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