TV.com Top 10 13: The Best South Park episodes

South Park offends, repulses, and disgusts many television viewers. To those people, I quote the great Eric Cartman: "Screw you guys." To celebrate American Idol's 13 finalists South Park's 13th season (which begins tomorrow night), we've compiled our favorite baker's dozen episodes. Don't agree with the list? Read the above Eric Cartman quote. (give the clips a few seconds to load.)

13. Fatt Butt and Pancake Head

(season 7)
Hey--any chance to make fun of Jennifer Lopez AND have Cartman give Ben Affleck an HJ is okay with me. Taco-flavored kisses for my Ben!

12. Towelie

(season 5)

"Don't forget to bring a towel!" "Wanna get high?" "I'm so high, I don't even know what's going on." Irresponsible? Probably. Hilarious? Absolutely.

11. Woodland Critter Christmas

(season 8)
Furry little forest creatures who just happen to worship Satan? Adorable!

10. Major Boobage

(season 12)

No one looked at their cat the same way after watching this Heavy Metal parody. Kenny uses cat pee to trip away to every kid's dream: a land of fantasy and large breasts.

9. Up the Down Steroid

(season 8)
Jimmy turns to steroids to win the Special Olympics, but beats up his girlfriend in a fit or 'roid rage. Cartman pretends to be "special" to win the $1,000 cash prize. Priceless. Morally bankrupt, offensive on all fronts, and revolting, but priceless.

Let's move on to numbers 8 through 5!

  • IanBates1

    Seen every SOUTH PARK ever made and the top 5 and 10 & 11 are all good but the rest of the list is just okay and ASSPEN deserves to be in the top 3

    Jul 10, 2011
  • GeorgeDa

    Tsst, Kenny Dies, Scott Tennorman must die!!!

    Jun 14, 2011
  • TayLawAbrahamse

    demoninabottle is ***ed.

    May 28, 2009
  • kratosgod69

    "6. Le Petit Tourette"WUT :|

    Mar 20, 2009
  • demoninabottle

    I would like to start by saying "AWESOME-O" wasn't a funny episode. And Scott Tenorman must die isn't particularly funny either, everybody just loves the ending. The best episode of South Park ever is either "Chicken Lover," season two, or "Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants," season five.

    Mar 17, 2009
  • demoninabottle

    I would like to start by saying "AWESOME-O" wasn't a funny episode. And Scott Tenorman must die isn't particularly funny either, everybody just loves the ending. The best episode of South Park ever is either "Chicken Lover," season two, or "Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants," season five.

    Mar 17, 2009
  • DjSlut

    Where is Freak Strike?! Whatever, I do what I want!

    Mar 16, 2009
  • techie775

    Wow. "Spooky Fish" is one of my favorites. I can't believe that's not on there but most of their picks are from the later seasons.

    Mar 16, 2009
  • simpsonian100

    I haven't even seen "Scott Tenorman Must Die" but I really want to soon. I also think the episode about the Chicken Lover with Cartman as a cop should be there.

    Mar 14, 2009
  • anubisjudgeyou

    Imaginationland

    Mar 14, 2009
  • Hoeech

    The problem is that there are so many awesome South Park episodes that it would be impossible to pick just 13. For me, the #1 episode was "Make Love, Not Warcraft".

    Mar 14, 2009
  • LinaLoN

    I can't believe the first episode with the aliens wasn't mentioned as well as; the one with the Lord of the Rings parody, when Cartman organizes a Christan Rock Band, when Cartman owns his own amusement park and Hanky the Christmas Poo's first episode. I also liked the episode where Lice take place in a disaster movie. I have to agree Chipokomon should have been listed somewhere.

    Mar 13, 2009
  • grindhouseninja

    I can't believe the scientology episode didn't make it in the top 13. I laughed harder in that episode than any other. The whole season was amazing.

    Mar 13, 2009
  • Danner95

    I am so happy that Scott Tenorman Must Die made it to number one, in my personal opinion, i find that Scott Tenorman Must Die to be the funniest episode ever made, in any show, ever.

    Mar 12, 2009
  • GuineaPirate

    Other great South Park episodes not listed:The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two TowersChinpokomonCartman's Silly Hate Crime

    Mar 12, 2009
  • XxILUVITVxX

    I also agree with the number 1 pick. That episode is pretty funny

    Mar 12, 2009
  • agt41

    i realy think trapped in the closet should have made it. also gotta love the ginger kids, hilarious!

    Mar 12, 2009
  • MrThunderfield

    Well, Scott Tenorman Must Die was funny in the beginning, but in the end I was disgusted. It just went over the top.Now don't take me wrong, I love South Park and I have a pretty high tolerance for the stuff they throw in there, and I think all of it is funny. But having someone eat his own parents is not. It's just despicable.

    Mar 12, 2009
  • thebiggame23

    Scott Tenorman Must Die is the most evil plan Cartman planned ever. ever...

    Mar 12, 2009
  • teron678

    I agree with the #1 Pick ... don't really agree with the rest ...anyways eps tonite ... was good ...

    Mar 11, 2009
  • gothceltgirl

    I'm surprised the Scientology ep & the Mormon ep didn't make it into the final 13. They were funny as Hell. I told my best friend to watch them. Oh & the NAMBLA one as well. Can't forget about that one.

    Mar 11, 2009
  • Lostrules1

    In their defense the scientology episode is more of a classic because of it's impact rather than because it was funny. It's not a laugh out loud episode, more a "lets kick a religion in the balls," episode.

    Mar 11, 2009
  • Lostrules1

    Succubus should always be number one in any list. PERIOD!!! :)

    Mar 11, 2009
  • VenomRitual

    ok so where is trapped in the closet and the wheel of fortune one? why is best friends forever on here.

    Mar 11, 2009
  • Lutten79

    How come there are no episodes from the early seasons? Some of the best stuff was in the first 4. Rainforest Schmainforest, Cartman joins NAMBLA, Summer Sucks, Chickenlover, Death, Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000? I think as a comparison, if the first 4 seasons averaged a 9, the last two have been at about a 6.5

    Mar 11, 2009
  • saber134

    the scientology episode is called "trapped in the closet". Here's a cool page with every episode: http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Episodes

    Mar 11, 2009
  • Tombackman_5

    This list is bogus. Don't get me wrong these eps are good, but the show was at its best from seasons 3-6. Have you all forgotten about Mr. Adler and Teetle the timid Taxidermist? Look back...

    Mar 11, 2009
  • patty_h

    Scott Tenorman Must Die is THE best South Park episode.

    Mar 11, 2009
  • Mattconno

    YAY, Scott Tenorman #1, Best Episode Ever.

    Mar 11, 2009
  • ali_tv_fan

    where is the scientology episode with Tom Cruise in the closet??

    Mar 11, 2009
  • hrgaffney

    It was probably impossible to pick 13 never mind 10!

    Mar 11, 2009
  • oceanic6

    I couldn't agree more, my man.

    Mar 10, 2009
  • SonicRenegade84

    No love for "Elementary School Musical"? that episode was awesome. But I actually don't agree with "Scott Tenermen must die" being #1. It was good, but not Trey and Matt's greatest.

    Mar 10, 2009
  • cra2ywolf

    Lots of crazy episodes. The LotR ep is one of my favorites.

    Mar 10, 2009
  • Anderz_72

    definitely not an easy list to put together

    Mar 10, 2009
  • Evil_saint

    I would have loved to see D-Yikes. That episode was one of the best.

    Mar 10, 2009
  • FriendlyCrono

    Where is the LOTR episode? Definitely top five.

    Mar 10, 2009
  • rarticalsista

    also, the lord of the rings vs harry potter ep where they go on a epic quest to return the video is priceless. Best part, Butters playing his version of lod of the rings lol

    Mar 10, 2009
  • TimSpot

    Honorable mention: Goobacks, Kenny Dies, Cripple Fight, Chinpokomon. Boy oh boy there are some gooooood South Park episode out there that didn't make the list...

    Mar 10, 2009