TV.com's Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision (September 2)

Swell: Three-day weekend! Unless you have to hurry back from fishing trip to write about Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy story on Monday (poor Tim, but he does it all for you)—then it's just a normal weekend. And for those of you in the Hurricane Beltway, it could be a wet one, which means lots of opportunities to curl up with your favorite television and make ga-ga eyes at it. Just make sure it's unplugged before you try for second base, because electrocution is no laughing matter! Anyway, here's what we liked and didn't like about TV this week.

Swell:

... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's family photo
Mac (Rob McElhenney) is already killing it this season, and we've yet to see a single episode. (click the image for a larger version of the shot, with a cat in Kitten Mittens and Danny DeVito)



... Gidget and Jackie on TLC's Livin' For the Apocalypse
The story of how one older woman and one older transgendered woman met and became best friends or possibly more (at one point they discovered they were both dating the same man) is even better than watching them farm guinea pigs, can bacon, and shop for gigantic guns. When 2012 rolls around and chaos rules, we'll be begging them to protect us from each other.



... Tobias Funke meets the Dunphys
David Cross (Arrested Development's analrapist and Blue Man fan) has landed a recurring role on the new season of ABC's Modern Family, where he'll play a councilman who battles against Claire. This could not have gone better!

... Hot chicks fighting and getting wet
ABC's upcoming Charlie's Angels remake is utterly ridiculous, but if you're going to be utterly ridiculous, you may as well go all out. Also: Why don't Minka's teeth move?



... Don Cheadle as Captain Planet
The star of Showtime's upcoming House of Lies plays the eco-friendly superhero whose newfound crankiness makes the world a greener place. And oh look! It's Community's Gillian Jacobs cowering in fear!

Hell:

... Controversy over Heather Morris' black-eyed photoshoot
The Glee star donned a shiner for photographer Tyler Shields, and a few stick-up-their-asses are complaining that it glorifies domestic violence. We think it glorifies hockey.

Glee Heather Morris Black Eye

... Matthew Fox (allegedly) gets drunk, punchy
The Lost star is being charged with punching a female party-bus driver in the crotch in Cleveland. We're so disappointed! What was he doing in Cleveland!?!?


... Brenda's Education Connection commercials
Talk about a new low for Shannen Doherty. This is the same sham that airs this horrible jingle and this annoying "go to college in your pajamas" crap. Lies, she's feeding us lies!



... Jake getting voted off Bachelor Pad
Along with Vienna, he was the show's money maker with his desperate (and completely idiotic) attempts to repair things with his ex. Now that he's gone all we have to look forward to is ABC's inventive ways of humiliating these vapid individuals.


... TLC's Big Sexy
The cable sideshow thought plus-sized models would make for compelling television, but these five nice, normal chicks without any sense of crazy are people I'd want to hang out with. Who wants to watch a reality show about people they'd be friends with? Seriously, these are normal people. Nothing to see here.

TLC Big Sexy

What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?

Comments (31)
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Sep 08, 2011
SNL did a TV fun house like ten years ago that was exactly like the captain planet sketch.
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Sep 07, 2011
Minka's trying to portray anger with her teeth. I never watched FNL's. Can she act??
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Sep 06, 2011
Is it wrong to assume that alot of people will be watching the Charlie Angel's on mute? I hear lots of grunting too. Weird
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Sep 05, 2011
Now Don C. just made me love Captain Planet again. Hilarious!!!!!!
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Sep 05, 2011
Didn't get a chance to see the Don Cheadle CM before, but it's hilarious. I'm so happy to see big name celebrities doing TV and silly commercials.
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Sep 05, 2011
Swell: To see Fringe back in the Top 20. So cannot wait for Sep 23rd.
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Sep 04, 2011
That Sunny promo picture is hilarious.



As for the domestic violence picture, I must say after looking at it I was briefly misled into thinking domestic violence was glamorous... so maybe the Negative Nancys have a point after all. (sarcasm)
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Sep 04, 2011
How on earth do they get domestic violence out of that? Maybe she initiated a bar fight, or was overly eager to look through a kaleidoscope for Pete's sake! Anyone who automatically assumes that it relates to domestic violence has some issues, and likely baggage.
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Sep 05, 2011
The iron, ironing board, and '50s-esque attire were a dead giveaway.



And it kind of does glorify it. The photoshoot says "Oh, look, she's been beaten, and she's happy and 'sexy'!" Not exactly the most progressive, or for that matter, intelligent of messages.
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Sep 06, 2011
Go have this argument with Chris Brown fans and every media outlet that now plays his music. If your reaction from seeing this picture is "OMG this picture promotes domestic violence" then your next thought is "OMG this is bad because if someone sees this they'll think DV is good". Then you need to take a step back and assume we're not all that stupid. Get a grip.
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Sep 05, 2011
You could just as easily counter-argue that someone who sees an iron and thinks 'woman' and 'domestic' needs to get with the times. My point is anyone can look at this and see into it what they want, that does not at all mean it is glorifying one thing or another. I didn't get what you saw at all -- perhaps because domestic violence is one of the furthest things in my mind (in terms of it being part of my life or of those around me, not in terms of awareness).



Even if it were making a point about domestic violence, in my mind it would look to be not glorifying it in the least -- it would be poking fun at said Nancies as a form of in-your-face satire.
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Sep 04, 2011
I don't understand why people point fingers at HeMo just because she did the shoot while being on Glee. Several of the cast members have appeared in controversial photoshoots before. Tyler Shields is to blame for his sick, sick mind. And also there's no way that it glorifies domestic violence. Just a horrible sense of artistic vision.
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Sep 04, 2011
That photoshoot doesn't glorify domestic violence, it glorifies awful photography and terrible makeup effects.
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Sep 03, 2011
Shame on you shannon doherty. I expected more from someone who used to possess "the power of three.."
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Sep 03, 2011
I just love how a guy with an rpg shooting directly at three people, can't hit....any of them. TV, it's a special place.....// That Funny or Die video is lmao funny. I watched that show when I was a kid, and somehow I don't remember that....// That black eye thing is weird, as in I don't get why the photog put it there? It's like that iron is a yo-yo, and it hit her in the face?
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Sep 06, 2011
you do realize a rpg is a rocket launcher, that shot bullets
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Sep 07, 2011
Lol, at the moment, I did not....you are correct it was a machine gun of some sort. Yet my point remains the same.
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Sep 03, 2011
Omg that Captain Planet was one of the funniest things ever. LMAO.
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Sep 03, 2011
Any show that doesn't treat plus-sized women as freaks deserves a "Swell" in my book. Hopefully, the show won't venture into the "OMG, We so crazy!" territory. If I was more into reality shows, I'd watch Big Sexy.
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Sep 03, 2011
That Funny or Die video proves beyond doubt that a Captain Planet live action movie is a good idea, if not even completely necessary for the cultural development of society.
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Sep 03, 2011
swell: preview for next week's Project Runway where Josh M is on a team with Burt.
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Sep 03, 2011
Danny DeVito looks really creepy in that portrait.
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Sep 03, 2011
So basically, you encourage people intentionally making fools of themselves to get attention and bemoan images of normal, well-adjusted people as hell. If that's your attitude, maybe you deserve some of the blame for things Bravo exploiting the Real Housewives suicide.
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Sep 03, 2011
Big is obviously not sexy.
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Sep 05, 2011
Well I guess I'm an asshole, too, because I see obesity, not HEALTHY or desirable on any level.
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Sep 03, 2011
And you're obviously an asshole.
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Sep 03, 2011
and you are obviously big...sorry too easy.
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Sep 03, 2011
Big can be sexy. Soulless jerks with bad attitudes are not.
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Sep 06, 2011
big can be sexy if mcdonalds wants to advertise

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Sep 03, 2011
Shakespeare said it best in Love's Labours Lost - "Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean, Needs not the painted flourish of your praise: Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye, Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues". I knew there was a reason to read Shakespeare.
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Sep 03, 2011
"Big can be sexy. Soulless jerks with bad attitudes are not." I agree on both counts, iFerrets.
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