It's the Fourth of July weekend, everyone! Woo-hoo! I don’t know what you have planned, but I’ll be spending a good chunk of it wandering around sketchy Chinatown back alleys, looking for the kinds of explosives-grade fireworks that really make a patriotic impact (or blow off your forearms). If you’re looking for less hazardous/illegal ways to spend the holiday, how about watching one of the dozens of marathons airing on cable TV? Here’s a smattering of some of the best:
VH1, 2 pm – midnight
Badabing, badaboom! Did you miss the first run of the reality show that makes Real Housewives of New Jersey look like Pride and Prejudice? Good news: VH1 is airing the whole series again.
MTV, 4 pm – Sunday, 12:30 am
The Citizen Kane of reality shows about 15-year-olds getting knocked up will air all day on MTV. Nothing quite says “Happy Birthday, America” quite like Justin Bieber-edition Pampers! Baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhh....
The Twilight Zone
Syfy, 9 am – Monday, 5 am
Every July 4th weekend, Syfy unspools 40 solid hours of Rod Serling’s sci-fi anthology masterpiece. Which one’s your favorite?
Science Channel, 8 am - Tuesday 2 am
Starting with the film Serenity, Science Channel airs the entire run of the cherished sci-fi western from Joss Whedon and gives fans more reason to complain about it getting canceled.
TV Land, 11:21 am – 8 pm
Everybody, now: Bewitched theme song sing-along! “Da da! Da da! Da da da da da da!”
The Golden Girls
Hallmark Channel, 3 pm – Tuesday, 2 am
Okay, fine. So it’s hard to sing-along to a song with no lyrics. Let’s try this again, with Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia on backup.
Have a great long weekend, everyone! God bless America, cheap beer, and BBQ'd hot dogs! What will you be watching this weekend?