What to Watch This Weekend: The Season Finales of Helix and The Walking Dead, Louis C.K. on SNL, and The Good Wife

What to watch on Friday, March 28...

8pm, The CW
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
As this week’s fourth chair, Nyima Funk has the solemn responsibility to make sure the other three dial back their Dr. Evil impressions when guest-star Verne Troyer arrives. I do not envy her task.

8:30pm, ABC
The Neighbors
Marty and Debbie are head over heels for their new Friday-night bowling league, but their teammates are somewhat less enamored of Debbie’s performance on the lanes. Meanwhile in “Close Encounters of the Bird Kind,” Larry’s father dispatches an envoy to Earth, fearing that the colonists have gone native.

9pm, The CW
Hart of Dixie
The workers Joel hires for renovations prove less than handy, and one of them even threatens to sue after injuring himself on the job. Elsewhere in “Ring of Fire,” Lavon makes Lemon’s dueling suitors the chief attraction for the Renaissance Faire, possibly by outfitting them with chain mail and halberds.

9pm, Fox
With the announcement that Fox is bumping the winning yet anemically rated sitcom from the lineup after this week, “Paint Cart 5000 vs. the Mondo Spider" may be the last first-run installment of Enlisted we get (barring a summer burn-off of the remaining produced episodes). Through chicanery and bamboozlement, the platoon winds up testing out an experimental car, while in lower-octane business, Sgt. Maj. Cody recruits Derrick for the challenging duty of capturing his portrait.

9:30pm, Fox
Raising Hope
Sabrina persuades Virginia and Burt to adopt a dog to counter their empty nest syndrome in “Man’s Best Friend.” The pound, however, feels quite differently about their suitability to care for a canine. Meanwhile, Jimmy is determined to prove he can still charm the ladies.

10pm, NBC
Fueled by a fresh personal blow, Will’s quest for vengeance against Hannibal kicks into overdrive in “Mukozuke.” With Dr. Gideon returning to confirm his theory about the Chesapeake Ripper, Will enlists unlikely and unsettling allies to execute a ruthless plan.

SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, Syfy
It’s Alan and Walker vs. the Scythe, with the fate of the world on the line in “Dans L’Ombre.” Will a lethal virus wreak havoc and tragically deprive the universe of the species that birthed waffle tacos, collateralized debt obligations, and Sharknadoes?

– Hulk Hogan, Stephen A. Smith, and Terrio on The Arsenio Hall Show, Syndicated, check local listings
– January Jones, Josh Holloway, and Passenger on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, 11:35pm, NBC 


What to watch on Saturday, March 29...

10:30am, The Hub
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
In “Leap of Faith,” Ponyvillians flock to a new panacea being hawked by the Flim Flam Brothers, somehow undeterred by their dubious name and track record. The allegedly magic elixir triggers ever-honest Applejack’s Spidey-sense—at least until it seems to work as promised for Granny Smith.

8pm, Nickelodeon
The 27th Annual Kids’ Choice Awards
Noted youth entertainment mainstay Mark Wahlberg hosts the green-slime-drenched festivities from the Galen Center in Los Angeles. Fun fact: According to Wikipedia, The Smurfs 2 is nominated in four movie categories, yet “Favorite Animated Movie” is not among them. Puzzle over that one for a bit, shan’t you?

9pm, Starz
Da Vinci’s Demons
“The Blood of Brothers” finds Leonardo wrapping his prodigious noodle around the latest problem vexing Florence. Elsewhere, Pope Sixtus gathers his forces and Nico fends off Riario’s enticements.

9pm, BBC America
Ripper Street
With a rash of arson and vandalism striking Whitechapel’s churches and synagogues, Reid must delve into the realm of the occult to investigate in “A Stronger Loving World.” Meanwhile, Sgt. Drake’s domestic bliss is thrown asunder by a rakish figure from Bella’s past.

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Louis C.K. hosts, directs, edits, writes an outré yet humanist sketch about CNN’s Flight 370 coverage, and possibly even covers the musical segments in the guise of singer-songwriter Sam Smith.

12am, Comedy Central
Hannibal Buress Live From Chicago
The comic performs a set at the Vic Theatre in his hometown. Subjects include finagling his way into an Eddie Griffin show and rap songs that reference molly.


What to watch on Sunday, March 30...

7pm, Fox
Bob’s Burgers
The adults and the children wind up in separate cars while traveling the rails, so naturally, “The Kids Rob a Train.” While they’re plotting to purloin the restaurant car’s chocolate, Bob and Linda are roped into competitive wine tasting.

Call the Midwife
It’s 1959 at Nonnatus House, and as new addition Sister Winifred settles in, Jenny and Dr. Turner investigate two young siblings’ recurring ailments. Meanwhile, Chummy copes with life as a housewife and works to spread the word about the new clinics.

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
Back in Storybrooke, Neal hopes to forge new bonds with Henry and to locate the missing Rumplestiltskin. In the Fairy-Tale Land that was, Neal carries out a different type of mission to reconnect with dear old dad—working with Belle and Lumiere to bring him back from the grave.

8:30pm, Fox
Family Guy
Perhaps hoping to summon the combined powers of both Game of Thrones and Mad Men a few weeks before their returns, “Secondhand Spoke” casts Peter Dinklage as an ad exec. He recruits Peter for an anti-smoking campaign, while Chris turns to Stewie for help repelling bullies.

The Walking Dead
“A” pits Rick against a harsh and violent reality, possibly in the form of a diabolically manipulative yet always unseen teenage girl.

Mr. Selfridge
At the dawn of its fifth anniversary, Selfridge & Co. is the toniest emporium in Londontown. But even with Harry sitting high on the hog, could a clash with the libertine proprietress of a new nightclub—who’s also a new friend of Rose’s—be in the offing?

9pm, CBS
The Good Wife
Ohgodohgodohgod okay you can get through this Daglas you can get through this just breathe… that’s it, you’re fine, you’re telling the good people about “The Last Call,” in which Alicia grapples with Will’s d…*sniff*—hold it together, man! you’re a professional!—with Will’s d-death, while Diane is the bearer of the tragic news at Lockhart G-g-g… oh hell, I need a minute. Go ask Noel what happens this week!

9pm, NBC
Okay, I’m back. All better now. Let’s talk Believe. Even as their pursuers close in, Tate and Bo track down the author of a long-lost love letter in “Defection.” Elsewhere, Winter gets ready to quit the Big Apple while Skouras and Ferrell intensify their search.

9pm, Fox
Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey
“A Sky Full of Ghosts” traverses space—all the way to a black hole’s event horizon—and time—all the way back to 1809, when astronomer William Herschel observed the interplay of light, time, and gravity.

9pm, ABC
In “Us Against the World,” Bellamy and Sheriff Fred team up warily to pursue a fleeing Caleb and to get to the bottom of Dale’s murder. Meanwhile, Maggie makes a surprising discovery after Jacob suffers a seizure, and Paster Tom deals with the return of his former flame Rachael.

9pm, Lifetime
Drop Dead Diva
With Stacy’s help, Jane prepares to hit the town with Grayson in “First Date.” At the office, Jane and Belinda represent a reckless rock star while Grayson aids a lower-income woman facing eviction by a rapacious landlord.

9pm, Showtime
Fiona lands in the joint once more in “Emily,” while Frank slips into postoperative delirium and Ian sneaks into the christening of the newest Milkovich. At U of C, Amanda’s disapproving parents try to buy off Lip.

10pm, Showtime
House of Lies
Marty and Jeannie cope in the wake of tragedy, and Marty reexamines his friendship with Dre in “Together.” In less weighty business, Doug hopes to patch things up with Sarah and Marissa makes a business decision with personal ramifications.

10pm, ABC
A now untethered Emily puts on her detective’s cap in “Addiction” as she probes a long-dormant mystery. Elsewhere, Pascal seeks to bond with Victoria.

10pm, CBS
The Mentalist
Jane concocts a cunning plan to nab a ring of art thieves in “Violets,” but their targets are deadlier than your average connoisseur. The op also introduces Lisbon to a charming FBI art squad agent.

10pm, NBC
A confab with the president leads Finley and Dunn to discover the next desperate parent on a wackjob mission: the chief of staff. Meanwhile in “What Was Done to You,” the mastermind is forced to teach one of the hostages a lesson—hopefully one branded in a familiar NBC style.


And now, let’s all vote to crown the What to Watch Tonight Episode Title of the Week!

Comments (341)
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TWD + Believe
Crisis is pretty damn good actually. Glad I stuck with it.
and Believe.
and Believe...
Ripper Street
Nothing yet again on Saturday night
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