What to Watch Tonight: TVD, HIMYM on Inside the Actors Studio, and Surviving Jack's Series Debut

What to watch on Thursday, March 27...

8pm, Bravo
Inside the Actors Studio
Kids, in the spring of 2014, me, your Aunt Lily, Uncle Marshall, Aunt Robin, and Uncle Barney all met James Lipton. Back then, when I told the story of How I Met Your Mother, it took me less than an hour. Lucky for you, since then I’ve spent plenty of time refining the tale into the version you’ve been enjoying for the last nine years.

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
In “To Catch a Thief,” Flashback Knave hunts Flashback Alice on Flashback Cora’s instructions, and winds up making a flashback deal to win back his heart. Present-Day Knave’s targeting of Present-Day Alice is of a more larcenous persuasion, under the orders of Present-Day Jafar.

8pm, The CW
The Vampire Diaries
Damon and Elena attend a parent-teacher conference for Jeremy, which sounds like either the dullest or the weirdest TVD fanfic ever written. Elsewhere in “Rescue Me,” Enzo shares some backstory with Caroline, Luke rankles Bonnie, the leader of the Travelers arrives, and did someone say “one more doppelgänger”?!

8pm, Fox
Hell’s Kitchen
Pigs and potatoes play prominent parts in this week’s challenge. While the winners unwind aboard a yacht, the losers are stuck with porcine clean-up duty.

9pm, The CW
“Monsters” leads the royal half-brothers on a mission into the woods, where Bash saves Francis' bacon. Back at the castle, Greer gets cozy with a kitchen hand and Henry takes an interest in the servant (SkinsKathryn Prescott) who wins “Queen for the Day” honors in what I imagine is a 16th century church picnic raffle.

9pm, ABC
Grey’s Anatomy
“Do You Know?” positions Cristina at a crossroads, where she contemplates the two possible futures before her. A patient is also deciding between Door #1 and Door #2, though in that case the doors are quite clearly marked “Live” and “Die.”

9pm, Sundance
The Red Road
In “The Great Snake Battle,” new details lead Harold into a discovery, new knowledge sends Kopus to Brooklyn, and a new decision sets Jean on a fateful course. Which of these plotlines will involve the titular battlin’ snakes? With any luck, all three.

9pm, USA
Harvey and Mike are tasked with an especially unpalatable duty, but is any client important enough to justify slogging through the comments section on a True Detective thinkpiece? Meanwhile in “Heartburn,” Louis tackles a daunting challenge of his own.

Surviving Jack
Christopher Meloni stars as the eponymous Jack, the father of two teenagers who assumes a full-time parenting role after his wife begins law school in this ‘90s-set sitcom.

10pm, USA
An “Alcohol Related Injury” afflicts the guys’ latest patients, who had the bright idea to mix heavy liquor consumption with the flinging of pointy lawn darts hither and yon. Off the beat, Johnny and Theresa decide to give friendship with benefits a shot, because that always works out smashingly for TV characters.

10pm, Comedy Central
Like Dick Grayson, Jean-Paul Valley, and some rich dude whose name I forget, Forrest dons the mantle of the Batman. He also assumes the mantle of Vinnie Chase and learns what it’s like to boff a celebrity.

10pm, History
Lagertha and Ragnar join forces to wrest Kattegat out of Jarl Borg’s grasp in “Answers in Blood.” Meanwhile, questions of faith perplex Athelstan, questions of prophecy confront Aslaug, and questions of the way forward roil Bjorn.

10pm, NBC
The culmination of their professional projects boosts Joel’s and Sarah’s morale in “Fraud Alert,” whereas Max sinks into a funk after last week's heartbreaking field trip. As Adam tries to buoy his spirits, Amber does the same for Sydney and Victor.

10pm, IFC
Spyke acquires a new set of wheels in “Spyke Drives,” while Fred and Carrie host a garage sale, Peter hurries Nance to the emergency room, Carrie and Doug begin treating each other like man’s best friend, and an overly loquacious guest regales a dinner party.

10pm, ABC
Grant fils and Grant fille arrive at 1600 Pennsylvania as “Mama Said Knock You Out” promises to serve up an hour of wholesome, WASPy family fun. Away from the White House, Rowan issues a warning to Olivia and Adnan seeks a hand from Harrison.

– The cast of Whose Line is it Anyway?, Hot Chelle Rae, and Penn Jillette on The Arsenio Hall Show, Syndicated, check local listings
– Rick Ross on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Nate Silver on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Darren Aronofsky on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Russell Crowe, Joan Rivers, and The National on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, 11:35pm, NBC
– Jason Bateman and Katie Lowes on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Jennifer Connelly, James Van Der Beek, and Joe Mande on Late Night with Seth Meyers, 12:35pm, NBC 


Comments (154)
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Meagre Thursday:
The blank box on my comment is "Inside The Actor's Studio."
How can there be so many shows and so little to watch??? The blank show in my list is Inside the Actors Studio.
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