What to watch on Thursday, March 6...
MID-SEASON PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
Deciding that one Lewis Carroll creation can only be countered by another, Jafar plans to join forces with the Jabberwocky in “Nothing to Fear.” In other odd alliances, Cyrus and Alice team up with the Red Queen to retrieve the Knave, who’s freed from his bottle by Lizard.
8pm, The CW
The Vampire Diaries
With Katherine’s dastardly body-swap exposed, Stefan, Caroline, and Matt scramble to bring Elena back safely. Meanwhile in “Gone Girl,” Damon crosses swords with both Tyler and Dr. Wes, Bonnie discovers the latest huge threat to everyone’s lives, and Nadia takes a trip down memory lane.
The Big Bang Theory
“The Friendship Turbulence” drives a wedge between Sheldon and Howard, which only Bernadette dares try to remedy. Elsewhere, Raj enlists Amy as his amanuensis of amour, and Penny lands a potentially mortifying movie gig.
In “App Development and Condiments,” a seemingly harmless social activity escalates into campus-wide war and chaos—or as they call it at Greendale, Thursday. In this case, the spark is a new social networking app that leaves Jeff and Shirley vying to be top dog. (Britta remains firmly entrenched as The Worst.)
Parks and Recreation
Leslie hopes to remove an imposing barrier between Pawnee and Eagleton in “The Wall,” while Tom and Ben hope to lure corporate cash for a benefit concert. At the office, Ron discovers a new way to fritter away the time.
MID-SEASON PREMIERE, 9pm, USA
As Mike’s latest case pits him against an old rival, a new threat emerges in the form of Louis’s snooping. Elsewhere in “Buried Secrets,” Harvey lands in hot water with both Jessica and Scottie, because Harvey.
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, FX
George Lopez returns to the sitcom world as a freshly divorced entrepreneur dealing with familiar wackiness on all fronts. “Won’t Get Fooled Again” opens the series with George reentering the dating pool and finding his sea legs anew.
9pm, The CW
Her forced marriage just around the corner in “The Consummation,” Mary must decide whether she wants to be one half of “Mancis” or one half of “Mash.” The futures of France, Scotland, and 16th century Europe’s celebrity tabloids hang in the balance.
The hospital institutes a policy against fraternization in “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” spurring distress in couples and shippers alike. On the medical front, Richard sets the residents to work researching an unusual cancer case.
Tensions emerge at a big presidential to-do, forcing Fitz to muster his courage and face the truth like a mature, well-adjusted adul… haha, I had you going there for a second, didn’t I? Nah, I’m sure he’ll kvetch and dodge and lash out like the scrunch-faced putz we all know and love. Around the Beltway in “We Do Not Touch the First Ladies,” Leo Bergen hooks Sally up with an old accomplice, and Quinn hopes to demonstrate her mettle to B613.
“Invasion” finds Ragnar sitting pretty, as the community is enjoying a long stretch of peace and prosperity. Naturally, that means it’s time to stir some you-know-what—and a raid on England ought to do the trick nicely. But the berserkers are soon beset by stormy seas and a tenacious new enemy.
In “Ears to You,” a man thought to have murdered his wife long ago receives a grisly message from someone claiming to hold her for ransom. At the brownstone, Lestrade proves the wisdom of the old adage about fish and houseguests.
Olivia Wilde and Jay Pharoah lend their talents to “Ecoterrorists,” which features an anti-animal testing demonstration at a makeup company. In other sketches, Toni and Candace hit the car wash, Dave helps Kath with her sleep troubles, and Fred expounds on missing hip-hop.
While Julia and Hank each cling to the past in “The Enchanting Mr. Knight,” Kristina sets off on a new journey and Amber spurs Drew to move forward. Meanwhile, Sarah has a choice to make after Carl serves up a tempting offer.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Comedy Central
Review with Forrest MacNeil
Andy Daly stars as Forrest MacNeil, polymath critic extraordinaire, who applies his analytical eye to everything under the sun. In the premiere, subjects of his professional scrutiny include theft, addition, and the tradition of prom.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm & 10:30pm, USA
Three professionally sharp yet personally scatterbrained Chicago EMTs are at the center of this new half-hour comedy from creators Denis Leary and Bob Fisher. In the pilot, Brian is welcomed aboard the rig while Johnny encounters an ex for the first time since putting their relationship on pause. Then in “A Bitch Named Karma,” the guys tend to a church picnic that was struck by lightning, and later receive choice Bears tickets that conflict with their plans to teach kids CPR.
– Rick Ross, the cast of Total Divas, and Bryan Michael Cox on The Arsenio Hall Show, Syndicated, check local listings
– Kristin Chenoweth, Billy Connolly, and Drive-By Truckers on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Allison Janney and guest host Mary McCormack on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Political scientist Kimberly Marten on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Artist and Rebuild Foundation founder Theaster Gates on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Liam Neeson, Lindsay Lohan, and Bad Things on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, 11:35pm, NBC
– Tom Brokaw, grocery bagging champion Andrew Hadlock, and Bob Mould on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Aaron Paul, Bellamy Young, and Jetta on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Martha Stewart and Lil Jon on Late Night with Seth Meyers, 12:35pm, NBC
– Rosie Perez on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?