What to watch on Thursday, May 1...
iHeartRadio Music Awards
Continuing its apparently sole function as a sponsor of network TV filler programming, iHeart Radio celebrates the most popular tunes of the past year as determined by “listeners” and “social media fans” and other entities who are totally not record industry execs hashing out a cut-rate payola scheme.
The Big Bang Theory
Prof. Proton (Bob Newhart) dispenses some wisdom to a grieving Sheldon in “The Proton Transmogrification.” Meanwhile, Amy and Bernadette go the extra mile to help the guys ring in “Star Wars Day,” and a relationship marker brings out Leonard’s and Penny’s competitive sides.
The Phi Mu sorority’s 160th anniversary is the occasion for this week’s challenge, in which the 14 remaining chefs must prepare Southern-style fare.
8pm, The CW
The Vampire Diaries
Holed up in a remote cabin in “What Lies Beneath,” Stefan and Elena hide from Markos’s latest scheme while Damon tries to coax a secret out of them by playing a parlor game. (If you’ve never seen the Salvatore house variant of Crazy Eights, it’s truly a sight to behold.) Back in town, Bonnie keeps the truth about the Other Side under wraps, and Matt works to get info from a Traveler.
9pm, The CW
Realizing she’ll need to get her hands dirty to rescue Scotland from the brink, Mary hires a mercenary in “Higher Ground.” In other politics by other means, Francis marshals his nation’s resources for a confrontation with England, while Lola grows both closer to and more suspicious of Lord Julien.
Cristina seeks Meredith’s counsel as she contemplates her future at the hospital, but it's the returning Dr. Burke (Isiah Washington) who may best prepare her for life as an ex-Grey's Anatomite. Meanwhile in “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” Jo’s workload takes its toll, Derek and Amelia team up on a tricky conjoined twins operation, and Stephanie unearths the truth about Bailey’s bubble-boy brouhaha.
Jack signs Rachel up for the wrestling team in “She Drives Me Crazy,” hoping to boost her commitment to school and to her future. But his scheme doesn’t sit too well with the wrestling coach (Neil Flynn).
The bad news: Joan’s been abducted by hoodlums. The good news: That frees up Lucy Liu to try her hand at directing “Paint It Black.” Can the Brothers Holmes set aside their row long enough to recover Ms. Watson safe and sound?
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, Comedy Central
Forrest quits a job and samples the luck of the Irish in the season’s last batch of reviews.
SEASON 4 FINALE, 10pm, IFC
The Portlandians hit the road for New Beavertown, Oregon, in “Getting Away,” where Peter and Nance go exploring, Tony and Candace lead a feminist retreat with an uninvited guest, and Kath and Dave’s attempts to unwind are thwarted by a mishap.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, USA
After Theresa accepts an FBI job in D.C., Johnny resolves to keep her in Chicago by popping the question in “Shotgun Wedding.” But can they make it to the altar without being waylaid by the God of Sitcom Shenanigans?
SEASON 2 FINALE, 10pm, History
In “The Lord’s Prayer,” Ragnar and King Horik’s return to Kattegat is greeted with a colorful banner, an axe-shaped cake, and a climactic battle for supremacy of the Viking community. And also, if there’s still time, karaoke.
– Katt Williams and Hezekiah Walker on The Arsenio Hall Show, Syndicated, check local listings
– Martin Short, Jessica Paré, and Kelis on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Tyler Glenn on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– David Spade on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Saul Williams on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Andrew Garfield, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Chvrches on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, 11:35pm, NBC
– Louis C.K., Amy Sedaris, and a performance from the Broadway show Rocky on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Sandra Oh, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, and Boy George on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Kiefer Sutherland, Rose Byrne, and Richard Ayoade on Late Night with Seth Meyers, 12:35pm, NBC
– Cheryl Hines and mixed marital arts fighter Rampage Jackson on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?