What to watch on Wednesday, June 25...
SEASON 16 PREMIERE, 8pm, CBS
This season, you can experience the glorious expanse of human vapidity, witlessness, and most likely outright bigotry in shimmering high-definition. Yay, progress?
SERIES PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC Family
Young & Hungry
This gritty cop drama follows Det. Lance Young and Sgt. Cedric Hungry, two of L.A.’s toughest… wait, what? Strike that, my mistake. This is actually a sitcom about go-getting young chef Gabi, who becomes the personal chef to a tech entrepreneur. Boy, I was way off.
SERIES PREMIERE, 8:30pm, ABC Family
West Beverly Hills High alums Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth reunite in this comedy about two former TV stars from the ‘90s. (Seems a stretch, but let’s run with it.) Twenty years after they portrayed youthful sleuths, the two must apply their fake crime-solving skills to a real-life riddle they stumble upon in “Death Becomes Her.”
Time to dust off the ol’ “Suits-iest Things in This Episode of Suits” Power Rankings. Coming at #4, the episode’s title, “Two in the Knees.” At #3, Louis’ attempt to bond with his new colleague instead leads to new tension. Holding strong this season as the runner-up, the recurring character name “Logan Sanders.” And the week’s #1 “Suits-iest Thing in This Episode of Suits”: Harvey must prove that his relationship with Mike won’t supplant his desire to win the takeover fight.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, NBC
Tough-as-nails cop Cat and slick cabbie Leo join forces to patrol the mean streets of New York—and to get to the bottom of their own mysteries—in this action comedy based on Luc Besson’s 1998 film Taxi.
SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 10pm & 10:30pm, FX
“Amends” presents Ryan with a chance to right a wrong as the final season commences. Then in “Consequences,” Ryan and Wilfred’s camping trip goes awry when an uninvited guest turns up. Are we thinking “bear” or “machete slasher”? Or possibly “machete-slashing bear”? Geez, that would be terrifying.
A grisly crime scene and a vanished bartender are at the center of the case in “Bad Blonde,” which I believe shares a title with one of the lesser known Jagger-Bowie collaborations from circa ‘78. The squad’s primary suspect, according to the Rule of the Most Famous Guest-Star: Jason Dohring (Ringer).
Mike and the team put their heads together to sniff out the contraband-smuggling bus, which is sort of like the Magic School Bus but less “whimsical and educational” and more “brazenly committing federal crimes.” Elsewhere in “Tinker Bell, Tuturro lands in the soup after selling an antique gun to a cartel leader’s son.
“Hands on a Woodchipper” demonstrates the importance of prepositions, because if you change that “on” to an “in,” suddenly we are looking at a very different kind of episode. Here, Willie and Si compete in a contest with the titular equipment as the prize.
Through the Wormhole With Morgan Freeman
“Is a Zombie Apocalypse Possible?” asks this week’s episode, before quickly answering, “Nope,” and then joining Morgan Freeman as he catches up on a stack of old New Yorkers for the next 42 minutes plus commercials.
10pm, TV Land
Hot in Cleveland
“I Just Met the Man I’m Going to Marry,” announces Joy after making the acquaintance of a promising potential paramour. Elsewhere on their L.A. excursion, Elka consults a stats expert and the women join Victoria to watch the Academy Award nominations.
10:30pm, TV Land
In “The Virginity Thief,” Jennifer and Dina team up to take down the man who deflowered them both on the same day. Boy, Afterschool Specials sure have changed since I was a kid.
– Eric Bana and Andy Serkis on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Gabriel Iglesias on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Keira Knightley on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Mark Wahlberg, Ben Falcone, and Hurray for the Riff-Raff on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Gary Oldman, Nathan Fielder, and Bleachers on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Alfred Molina on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS