What to watch on Wednesday, March 12...
8pm, ABC Family
Melissa & Joey
After befriending a married couple in “To Tell the Truth,” Mel and Joe promptly make a hash of things by spreading a secret around. In their defense, they were merely complying with Sitcom Law #27, re: the impermanence of guest-star friends, and Sitcom Law #35, re: the receipt and dissemination of secrets.
Orson’s parade of guest-stars pastors continues in “Stormy Moon” with Rev. Tammy (Casey Wilson), whose role as Rev. TimTom’s new partner—both on and off the pulpit—rankles Sue. Elsewhere, Brick’s negligence with a library book lands Frankie in the hoosegow, while Axl and Cassidy celebrate spring break with smoochies.
At a college party with Malik and Lisa in tow, Tessa falls for a guy who’s her mirror image… y’know, except for the Y chromosome part. Meanwhile in “I’m Just Not That Into Me,” a professional matchmaker inspires Dallas to see herself in a different light.
“Other People’s Children” mixes up the families for some cross-generational bonding. Gloria, Claire, and Lily do some dress shopping, Mitch and Cam take Alex and Manny to the museum, Phil helps Andy prepare a gift for his girlfriend, and Jay instructs Luke in the handyman arts, hopefully using his full set of Binford Tools.
Through the Wormhole With Morgan Freeman
“Is Luck Real” asks this week’s episode, which ventures into casinos, sporting arenas, and genetics laboratories in search of a real-world counterpart to the mutant X gene that powers third-tier X-Man Longshot.
A convention for paranormal investigators soon becomes a crime scene when the keynote speaker is silenced—permanently. With plenty of outre crime-solvers on the case in “A Touch of Sweevil,” Shawn will have plenty of competition to uncover the truth first and most eccentrically.
Law & Order: SVU
In “Gambler’s Fallacy,” Rollins proves that she neither knows when to hold ‘em nor knows when to fold ‘em, and dastardly gambling club impresarios Donal Logue and Sherri Saum are none too pleased. Will desperate times compel her to take desperate measures?
ten x ten
Writer/director/producer Neil LaBute unveils his second set of short films for DirecTV’s Audience Network. Stars Adam Brody, Maggie Grace, Jason Patric, Amy Madigan, and Bill Pullman each take a turn at the center of the 10-minute narratives.
Philip fears that Elizabeth’s head may not be in the game in “The Walk In,” while Paige investigates her family tree. At the FBI, Stan’s work ferreting out the Rezidentura’s recent visitor strengthens his bond with Nina.
Gene Simmons guest-stars as himself in “Long Road Home,” an episode about a slain rock and roll groupie. If that strikes you more as a reason to skip this episode than a reason to set the DVR, I for one could scarcely blame you.
Juliette bristles at having her thunder stolen by the new acts on Rayna’s label, while Will extends offers to both Deacon and Layla. Elsewhere in “We’ve Got Things to Do,” Maddie’s focus on her music troubles Teddy, and Megan’s behavior disturbs Deacon.
Voight deals with an old partner and a new Internal Affairs watchdog in “Different Mistakes.” Meanwhile, Halsted seeks Jin’s help digging into Lonnie Rodiger, and Olinksy aims to puncture Ruzek’s growing self-regard.
In “Racist,” Jim is torn when he learns his dream girl is actually pretty racist. But when you think about it, aren’t the people who are intolerant of racists the real racists? (No. No, they’re not.)
SEASON 3 FINALE, 10pm & 10:30pm, TBS
Men at Work
Tyler and Jude strike up a courtship in the two-part “Jude Awakening” and “Odd Milo Out.” In less romantic shenanigans, Milo worries about Gibbs’ stoic streak, and Neal sets his sights on a new residence.
10:30pm, Comedy Central
Friendships from Abbi’s past weigh heavily on Ilana’s mind when the girls and Lincoln head to a tying of the knot in “Destination: Wedding.”
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 11pm, Fuse
Funny or Die’s Billy on the Street
Comedian Billy Eichner hits the road once more to quiz random passersby about pop culture, offering the potential for both cash prizes and minor embarrassment on cable television.
– Macy Gray, Sam Jaegar, and Jordan Burroughs on The Arsenio Hall Show, Syndicated, check local listings
– Aaron Paul, Maggie Q, and Ian Karmel on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Adam Levine on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Jason Bateman on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Maria Shriver on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Shailene Woodley, Artie Lange, Beck, and Judith Hill on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, 11:35pm, NBC
– Sylvester Stallone, Theo James, and Ledisi on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– From South by Southwest, Robert Duvall, Rachael Ray, Damon Albarn, and Johnny Winter on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Dr. Oz, Norman Reedus, and American Authors on Late Night with Seth Meyers, 12:35pm, NBC
– Ricky Gervais and Krysten Ritter on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?