South Park offends, repulses, and disgusts many television viewers. To those people, I quote the great Eric Cartman: "Screw you guys." To celebrate
American Idol's 13 finalists South Park's 13th season (which begins tomorrow night), we've compiled our favorite baker's dozen episodes. Don't agree with the list? Read the above Eric Cartman quote. (give the clips a few seconds to load.)
Hey--any chance to make fun of Jennifer Lopez AND have Cartman give Ben Affleck an HJ is okay with me. Taco-flavored kisses for my Ben!
12. Towelie(season 5)
"Don't forget to bring a towel!" "Wanna get high?" "I'm so high, I don't even know what's going on." Irresponsible? Probably. Hilarious? Absolutely.
Furry little forest creatures who just happen to worship Satan? Adorable!
10. Major Boobage(season 12)
No one looked at their cat the same way after watching this Heavy Metal parody. Kenny uses cat pee to trip away to every kid's dream: a land of fantasy and large breasts.
Jimmy turns to steroids to win the Special Olympics, but beats up his girlfriend in a fit or 'roid rage. Cartman pretends to be "special" to win the $1,000 cash prize. Priceless. Morally bankrupt, offensive on all fronts, and revolting, but priceless.
8. AWESOM-O(season 8)
Cartman pretends to be Butters' robot friend in order to keep a secret safe, but ends up under a cardboard box for much longer than he hoped. In the end, he pitches ideas for Adam Sandler movies and almost gets molested by a Hollywood executive.
7. Casa Bonita(season 7)
Cliff diving! A cave with pirate treasure! A puppet show! Mariachis! Sopapillas! Juvenile Hall! What makes this episode even better is Casa Bonita is real.
Cartman discovers Tourette's syndrome, and sees it as a way to curse whenever he wants. Then the s*** hits the fan.
My PSP is merely a paperweight now, but Kenny's turns out to be a weapon of God. Trey and Matt tackle the Terry Schiavo case in this episode, with Kenny turning into a vegetable and saving the world once the plug is pulled on his life-support machines.
Care Bears versus the orcs from Lord of the Rings! Strawberry Shortcake versus the Woodland Critters! It's good versus evil in this three-episode epic. But the best part? The goofy song one must sing to get to Imaginationland.
When the boys find some martial arts weapons, they turn into anime-style ninjas. But of course Butters takes the brunt of the damage by getting a ninja star in the eye, dog pee on his arms, and puppy poop all over.
Trey and Matt go after online gaming in this episode, which features in-game graphics and leet speak from World of Warcraft, one of the greatest dangers to a functional society.
After purchasing pubic hair from a ninth grader to enter manhood, Cartman's best revenge ever involves a fellating horse, a chili cook-off, and Radiohead. The tears taste soooooooo good.
South Park's 13th season premieres tomorrow night on Comedy Central at 10 p.m.