They invade your television screen and make your skin crawl--they're characters that you just can't stand. We asked members of the TV.com staff which characters they'd love to see killed off and why. The answers will shock and surprise some of you, while others will nod their head in hateful agreement.
And just to be clear, this isn't an attack on the actors themselves (except for one rant on the number-one slot), it's solely on their characters--and the rants are from individual TV.com employees (hey, I love Steve Carrell).
10. Dr. Raymond Langston, CSI
Portrayed by: Laurence Fishburne
Says our anonymous critic: "Sorry, but Laurence Fishburne on CSI has just ruined it for me. I feel like he’s mentally texting while he’s supposed to be solving crimes."
Portrayed by: Hank Azaria (voice)
Says our anonymous critic: "The most useless Simpsons character ever. Seriously, what is his point? To wear '70s clothes and talk in the third person? In fact it can be argued that Disco Stu began the downfall of the show; adding extraneous characters like Stu did nothing but take away from the heart of the show. It's time for a Disco Stu inferno. Light that sucker on fire!"
Portrayed by: Paul Johansson
Says our anonymous critic: "Dan Scott is possibly the most evil villain of all dramas, almost as bad as Benjamin Linus. He murdered his own brother, Keith, in cold blood by shooting him in the chest. He abandoned one of his sons, hit his other son, and called his daughter-in-law a slut. He’s a liar, a blackmailer, and an overall selfish son-of-a-bitch. For six seasons we have been waiting to see this bastard killed off, and now he wants it too. Let's do him a favor and buy him a toaster for his bathtub." (editor's note: "I don't know, this guy sounds kind of cool.")
Portrayed by: Steve Carrell
Says our anonymous critic: "Steve Carrell's an annoying actor who always tries too hard and just isn't funny. Like Will Ferrell. Michael should visit a papermill and accidentally fall into something, like a chopper or pulper or whatever you call it."
Portrayed by: Jake Weber, Anna Gunn
Says our anonymous critic: "The husband on Medium, the wife on Breaking Bad. They’re personality-free characters who adore their spouses and suffer quietly while they’re ignored, until there’s a plot point about how they can’t take being ignored. The wives on The Shield and The Wire were like that, too, but those shows are off the air. They should all just go missing and see if anybody notices."
On to the top five!
Portrayed by: Jerry Ferrera
Says our anonymous critic: "The most annoying character on the most annoying show. Is there anything worse than a misogynist tool with an over-bloated ego? Yeah, we get that you are from New York, but that still doesn't make you a 'playa.' Every time he opens his mouth, I want to punch him in the face. Maybe Ari can rip his still-beating heart out."
Portrayed by: Mila Kunis (voice)
Says our anonymous critic: "Meg's story lines are boring, her voice is annoying, and do you remember the episode with the shower scene that involved, 'flossing'? Yuck. Meg is by far the least funny character on Family Guy and ought to start a support group for similar, un-funny characters like Lisa Simpson, Jonathan Bower (Who’s the Boss?) and Tim Meadows. I suppose every surreal comedy show needs a somewhat 'normal' character to offset the craziness, but then again, she’s still not funny, so I vote she be fed to giant Iranian goat-eating cockroaches."
3. Tracy Strauss, Heroes
Portrayed by: Ali Larter
Says our anonymous critic: "Well, she's already died like 50 times already (counting her twin sisters), so this wouldn’t be too big of a surprise--what would be a surprise is if she stayed dead. This is simply a poorly thought out character(s)--it's almost as if they had this hot actress and they just made something up to get her killer body in the show. Her one shining moment was grinding on a politician in her underwear--whoopdeedoo. Time to kill her off for good--Larter doesn't want to be on the show anyway. Hey, while we're at it, let's kill off Claire, Mohinder, and everyone else except for Sylar and Mr. Muggles. They rule."
2. Hurley "Hugo" Reyes, Lost
Portrayed by: Jorge Garcia
Says our anonymous critic: "Wait! Hear me out! We love Hurley, we really do. But given that this is Lost's final season, we know we're going to lose some of our favorites for good. Charlie Pace died a hero, and as painful as it was to see him go, it propelled the story forward and delivered one of Lost's most moving moments. We see the same fate for lovable Hugo Hurley--a hero's demise. And we have to admit: we'd love to see old Smokey try and lift him and up."
1. John "J.D." Dorian, Scrubs
Note: The only character to receive multiple unsolicited votes.
Portrayed by: Zach Braff
Says our anonymous critic: "I think most of us would be more than happy to chip in a few bucks to buy J.D. a chin so we can take turns punching him in the face. Don’t get me wrong--I’m glad effeminate, stupid haired, sissies have a role model, I’d just like to see him fall into a well is all. He is a disgrace to the great state of New Jersey and he likes the Shins. THE SHINS!!?? I vote for a long trip down a deep well or he get shot to the moon in a cheap rocket." And a second, less hatred-filled response: "J.D. needs to go so new actors can take centerstage on Scrubs, as long as they're going to continue that series."
Feel free to direct all hate mail in the comments section below.