Good heavens are we already on the 70s? That means we're getting close to the Top 10! Are you prepared for that? Well this is what you'll need: three bathtubs filled with Mountain Dew, a buffalo-sized carton of Red Vines, 500 packets of Taco Bell Fire Border Sauce, a couple pints of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream, a tube of Flab-B-Gone, and probably a defibrillator. Make sure you have those on hand for the big finale, coming your way on New Year's Eve! In the meantime, all you'll need for today's list is a pitcher of strawberry margaritas. Enjoy! And don't forget to check back tomorrow for numbers 70-61!
80. Revenge's Nolan dresses to impress... or something
Revenge's second and third seasons have been uneven to say the least,
but one constant has continuously shined through the the drearier elements to bring light and life to the series: Nolan
Ross's impeccable wardrobe. His penchant for red pants, tear-away
jumpsuits, pastel blazers, and T-shirts featuring his own mugshot make
Nolan the best-dressed wingman in the Hamptons. Even if we no longer cared about Emily's revengenda, we'd still tune in every week just to
see what Nolan's latest crazy ensemble.
79. Nikita embraces its sci-fi(ish) side as the Nikita-Amanda showdown heats up
Science-fiction elements have always been lurking around the fringes of Nikita, but in 2013 they burst through the walls of the main story, and with vengeance. From the nanocell technology in Michael's prosthetic hand and Amanda restoring Owen's real identity/memories to the big reveal that literally anyone—from the President of the United States to Amanda herself—could be a double, the show has injected a glut of fascinating pseudo-science into the story that's raised the stakes without breaking down the reality of the show's world. Nikita is still ultimately about its lead character beating the heck out of everyone and chasing down Amanda, but the latest wrinkle has nicely guided the show into its final episodes.
78. Rob Lowe's plasti-face in Behind the Candelabra
Among all the garish robes and fabulous set pieces, one part of HBO's film stood out from the rest: Rob Lowe's stretched and pulled and molded face. His plastic surgeon character looked like a medical cross-cloning-with-a-lion experiment gone wrong... and it was glorious.
77. Toy Story comes to the small screen
Pixar shrekked the halls of the Toy Story universe with a host of horror-movie homages for its first made-for-TV holiday special, and the result was a delightful half-hour that we'll look forward to watching again in years to come.
76. Saturday Night Live bids farewell to Stefon
Talk about a wedding for the ages! SNL paid tribute to departing cast member Bill Hader with a wholly fitting send-off for everyone's favorite "Weekend Update" city correspondent—Stefon was all set to marry Anderson Cooper in a ceremony attended by scores of distinguished and wacky guests, but Seth Meyers did the right thing and fought for one his true love. It was as weird and as wonderful as we ever could've hoped, and one of the show's best goodbyes ever. Congratulations, you crazy kids!
75. Some of procedural television's finest hang up their badges
It's always sad when a family member leaves the nest, and this year, two great acronyms each said goodbye to a big one. NCIS parted ways with Ziva (Cote de Pablo) in "Past, Present, and Future," and Law & Order: SVU celebrated the retirement of Sergeant John Munch (Richard Belzer) in "Wonderland Story." Thankfully, neither character was killed off, so we're hoping for some return visits in the future.
74. Nathan For You's Claw of Shame
Yes, comedy is subjective, but let's be honest: It usually involves some guy telling "jokes," or sketches with comedians wearing wigs and walking around all goofy-like. Point being is that there aren't a lot of unique laughs going around. Not so when it comes to Comedy Central's Nathan For You, one of 2013's biggest surprises. Host Nathan Fielder combined real-life interviews and stunts in order to give small businesses advice on how to improve their notoriety, and the results were awkward, hilarious, and heartwarming. His biggest feat didn't even fit his own weird mold: It involved an attempt to break out of handcuffs as a robot arm pulled down his pants in front of a group of children, all while a cop looked on, waiting to arrest him as a sex offender. So many layers, guys. Absolute genius.
Give 'Em a Grade: Comedy Central's New Shows
73. And the role of Jon Stewart will be played by John Oliver
The student has become the master. Okay, maybe not the master, but at the very least, a really, really good master's assistant. When Jon Stewart announced that he was taking a couple months off from The Daily Show to direct a feature film, we're guessing that Comedy Central's response was to, as Socrates once said, "shit a brick." Fortunately, The Daily Show had a backup host waiting in the wings in the form of
Professor Duncan John Oliver, who admirably filled one of late-night's most difficult-to-squeeze-into pairs of shoes. As a result, he's deservedly getting his own show on HBO.
72. Glee sings for a fallen friend
Glee tends to fumble every "Very Important Episode" it airs, but "The Quarterback" was an Immaculate Reception of its very own. The series managed
to say farewell to Cory Monteith and Finn Hudson in a heartfelt,
respectful, and meaningful way that's sure to resonate with fans for a
long time. Well played.
PREVIOUSLY: Glee "The Quarterback" Review: Feel the Love
71. Astapor! Astapor! Astapor is on fire! We don't need no water let the motherf*cker burn!
Arguably the most important TV .GIF of the year, sweet little Daenarys Targaryen was transformed into Queen Bitch with just a flick of her tongue in one of Game of Thrones' best moments to date. Appalled by the atrocities of human slavery in the city of Astopor—and armed with an attitude of "F your cultural differences"—Dany ordered her dragons to set the place aflame, along with all those who carried whips within it. Why? Because she's the Mother of Dragons, and that's what dragon moms do. The little lizards aren't even 'tweens yet; just imagine what they'll do to Joffrey when they're older and they finally reach Westeros.