LARRY VS. THEM
1. Chat-and-Cut Lady
Causes: A woman attending Jeff and Susie’s self-thrown goodbye party (they are headed to New York to accompany their daughter for a three-month theater summer camp) makes small talk with the man ahead of Larry on the buffet line. Larry calls her out on it, complimenting her skill at “the chat-and-cut” but telling her she won’t get away with it this time.
Resolution: The Chat-and-Cutter is so hardcore, she actually uses Larry’s confrontation as an opportunity to move in right behind him. Larry is so impressed he says nothing. Resolved.
2. The Pinkberry Parker
Causes: Already annoyed over the red Volvo that took up two spots at the farewell party, Larry later explodes at a bearded Pinkberry patron who takes up two spots, saying, “'It’s not an open field. This isn't a farm! Just pull in between the lines!” Things escalate quickly from there.
3. Veterinarian's Wife
Causes: After her husband (Mad Men's Rich Sommer/Harry Crane!) leaves the table at the party, Larry asks the wife of the veterinarian who's treating Jeff and Susie’s dog a string of questions that have long bothered him about the field: “If some moron has a rat for a pet, does he save it?” “Does he deal with any farm animals?” “Do veterinarians make as much as doctors?” This annoys the wife, who calls that last question too "personal." Larry invites her to ask him a personal question, and she inquires about his masturbation habits, which he has no problem discussing. She leaves abruptly.
Resolution: None. In fact Larry exacerbates the matter when he later peppers her husband with questions about whether or not he offended her—and continues asking about his salary—just moments after he announces that Jeff and Susie’s dog will need to be put down.
Causes: Vance is a friend who’s taken an oath of silence, for spiritual purposes, yet insists on communicating anyway by mouthing words. Vance later spots Larry and Jeff eating the Pinkberry meant as Jeff and Susie’s dog’s last meal. When he catches them lying to Susie, Larry confronts him in a threatening manner, saying tattling is bad karma.
Resolution: Vance finally breaks his vow and tattles to Susie after Larry leaves him an angry message on his Volvo telling him to park within the lines. (He didn’t know it was Vance’s car at the time.) So, no resolution.
THE LARRY DAVID FOOD TRACKER:
Unidentified buffet food: Susie puts together quite the spread for her self-thrown goodbye parties.
Pinkberry with coconut: Meant to be Oscar the dog’s last meal, Larry and Jeff devour the whole container on the way back to the animal hospital, leading to an elaborate lie and the eventual severing of one’s man’s vow of silence.
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