TV.com's Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision (February 11)

Hey, did you know Valentine's Day is on Tuesday? Because TV does! Love-themed episodes (and terrible jewelry commercials) monopolized our screens this week; here's what made us swoon and scowl.


SWELL


These Portlandia-inspired "Put a Burt on It" stickers



Well, now we know what we're getting Sterling Archer for Valentine's Day.



Happy Endings' happy ending


As Penny would say, the last few minutes of this week's episode were totes adorbs (guest-star James Wolk made us feel a bit faint—go Max!). Also, Penny made a pretty compelling point when she observed, "No one has ever had a friend in town."



Suburgatory's Tess and Dallas workout montage


Working off the fat and working out the relationship issues while "popping it low."



The Bachelor contestant Emily's rappin' skills


We rarely vote "swell" on this show, but Emily finally has her head on straight and is making near-legitimate jokes with Ben. As this week's credits rolled, she dropped another white-girl rap about the animal kingdom that really got us rooting for her. Not to win, that'd be horrible because Ben's a moron and she's too good for him. But for her to at least have a shot at being on Bachelor Pad.



Woody Paige's 400th win on Around the Horn


The ESPN talk show features a wide range of personalities, but none of them are as endearing and creative as Woodrow Paige, who notched his milestone 400th win on the show this week. Keep the chalkboard humor coming, Woody!



The implications of Fringe's "Welcome to Westfield"


The episode turned the crazy dial up about 10 notches, and we really like where the show is headed.



Jeffrey Wright's appearance on House


And as usual, he was mesmerizing. Someone please cast him as a series regular already!



NCIS's choice of music for its 200th episode


We couldn't stop singing Hank Williams' "I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive" (also the theme song for The Life & Times of Tim!) as Gibbs relived his life in a dreamlike state.



Archer's "Drift Problem"


The episode became a Dodge Challenger commercial after Archer received one for his birthday, which the show cleverly acknowledged:

Lana: "How much did Dodge kick in?"
Malory: "Not as much as you'd think."



These incredible Downton Abbey valentines


Comic artist Chad Thomas created these cheeky cards for the upcoming Hallmark holiday, and if you click through to his website you can download, print, and distribute them to the Matthews, Lady Marys, Mr. Bateses, and Thomases in your life.



The almost three-way on New Girl


Nick, Jess, and... Remy the Creepy Landlord? Hilarious.


HELL


The almost three-way on Happy Endings


Dave, Lindsay, and Lindsay's hot friend? The low point in an otherwise strong episode.



This year's Super Bowl ads


As usual, there were a few highlights, but this year's batch was generally underwhelming for commercials that cost around $4 million each.



The American Idol contestant who fell off the stage


Well that was awkward. Better luck next time, Symone!



Kim Kardashian on Last Man Standing


The promos for this week's episode of Last Man Standing had the voice over, "Your prayers have been answered! Another episode of Last Man Standing with an appearance by Kim Kardashian!" Those two things would be the answer to our prayers only if we were praying to Satan.



The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion episodes


After Brandi insinuated that Taylor was in poor taste to write a book about her abuse "a hot minute" after her husband's suicide, Kyle tried to diffuse the tensions by tossing her hoops and saying, "You are Angry Spice." Yowch, that's awkward. Note to self: Spice Girl references will date you like nothing else.


What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?

Comments (31)
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Should I be watching Fringe?
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Only if you like intelligent storylines and a great cast.
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Absofringely :)
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Swell: Asian guy on American Idol talking about the cowboy, No Community.

Hell: American Idol using a girl falling off the stage as the cliffhanger to watch the next episode. Someone else mentioned it and it stuck with me and bothered. me.
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New Girl near three-way was repulsive. I'd be fine if no show ever went there ever again.
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i cant stop laughing at that girl falling off the stage, am i horrible?
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Hell No Community!
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Just got to say NCIS killed it with it's 200th episode; it was great to see Kate Todd again-she died way too early if you ask me, her and Ziva on the same team would have been epic. Gibbs is still the best lawman on t.v. (p.s. shout out to fringe for finally getting mentioned on being swell)
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Loved the New Girl's almost tree way!
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Fringe and New Girl's almost three way were both great!
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Swell: FRINGE!!!!! Epicness x10

that it made the list here - finally!

Hell: I have to wait a week for the next episode
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One does not simply..... Forget Betty Luke.
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So much ridiculousness.
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I love New Girl, especially after this week's episode. When Jess and Nick were playing "chicken" kissing I was actually laughing out loud.

E! plays The Soup and Chelsea Lately but they surround those awesome shows with Kardashians and Sex and the City reruns.. this is EVERY week! Can that be a recurring Hell?
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Why wasn't "The River" in hell. That was the worst thing I've seen on television in a while. Terrible acting, terrible writing and terrible cinematography for show where it really mattered. Why did television executives think this deserved any air time? Because Steven Spielberg produced it and "Terra Nova" was such a huge success?
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Why the heck did American Idol END the episode on that?
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Swell: Smash, Fringe Fringe Fringe, Emma confessing to Mads on Lying Game, crazy sexed up end of the Vampire Diaries episode.

Hell: How I Met Your Mother being pretty lame, 2x 30 rock over 1x community, Fringe not being on every night.
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OMG, Fringe actually got recognition in the Swell list?! Awesome sauce! Honestly, it should have an honorable mention there every week :)
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this: http://www.google.com.pe/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=jean%20dujardin%20funny%20or%20die&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyordie.com%2Fvideos%2F6cddad07b7%2Fjean-dujardin-s-villain-auditions&ei=L_s2T9KINMHBgAe5n-3nBQ&usg=AFQjCNGHo523oWOMz3SqNbWiQItojye6cw&sig2=zA_hZwSQ2EJI2Oqr_V89VA
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Archer was awesome this week. I loved the whole episode. Archer's reaction to first seeing the Challenger was so cute, *sniffles*. Also: "It makes the Mach Five look like a vagina!"



Happy Endings was great this week, but I would agree with this article that Dave's near-threesome was probably the weakest part of the episode.
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Castle and NCIS were the highlights for me this week.
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SWELL

- John Reese's Night-vision pump-action beanbag-busting super-assault shotgun (thanks to Tim Surette for the detailed description)

- Raylan Givens running over Ash with his car on Justified....twice

- Sterling Archer's Birthday!!

- FRINGE!!!



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Great list!
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The ending of Fringe's episode. The beginning of Fringe's episode. Everything in between the ending and beginning of Fringe's episode.
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Swell: The almost three way on New Girl and this wonderful episode of Fringe (and all the new questions that came with it)!
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Swell: The Walking Dead premiers on Sunday and Cougar Town on Tuesday. YEAHHHHHHHHH
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Swell: Fringe was awsome, Happy Endings, Suburgatory (the woman in blue in the background really isn't putting any effort in), Archer, House, Hank Williams on NCIS, New Girl are all great choices. I'd add Allie Grant (Lisa) on Suburgatory - she is one of the best actors on the show, Supernatural, Nikita, Hawaii 5-0 and Skins (UK).



Hell: Last Man Standing, Happy Endings are good choices, I'd add the unbelievable amount of cameras used on The River, the casting on The River, the overly cliched characters on The River (I was really disappointed by The River), the annoying flashback/what might have been setting used on NCIS, no more Lizzy Caplan on New Girl and Alcatraz's failure to improve.
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I totally agree with you on Allie Grant. I love her, uh, style? of acting. She was great on Weeds, and I'm loving her on Suburgatory.
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Hell. Community still isn't back yet. Another week of Alcatraz.



Swell, I actually enjoyed Supernatural through and through. Nikita was also awesome.
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I'm just going to say what everyone will say again and again... and again later on! FRINGEEEEEEEE!!!!!!



PS: POI and Supernatural were pretty darn awesome too! And Alcatraz finally found its footing in this week's episode.
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