Hopefully the sugar high from all the chocolates we got you has worn off and the bleeding holes in your hands from all those roses we bought for you are no longer infected, because our Hell/Swell for Valentine's week requires your complete attention! Let's see what was champagne and oysters and what was eating straight out of a can of chili on TV this week:
Dave Navarro on Talking Dead
Not only was the ROCK GOD super thoughtful and eloquent in his opinions, but he didn't pull punches and expertly explained the complaints of many of the show's passionate, albeit critical fans—wanting the survivors to get off the farm and encounter more zombies—right to showrunner Glenn Mazzara.
A.J.'s Curse-a-thon on The River
We'd be [bleep]ing swearing our [bleep]ing faces off too if we had to [bleep]ing burrow into a bunch of [bleep]ing dirt like a [bleep]ing badger while pasty jungle [bleep] folk were trying to [bleep]ing gouge our [bleep]ing eyes out. [BLEEP]!
Ricky Gervais Promotes His New Series By Talking About Panda Sex
This may go down as one of the most important interviews in the history of The Daily Show.
New Girl's Schmidt's Desert-Island Reading List
Includes "any script from Season 1 of The Vampire Diaries." We applaud his good taste, but we truly hope he meant from the latter half of the season.
Face Off's Old-Age Makeup Competition
Not only was the old-age makeup competition legitimately difficult, the twist involving making up triplets as the same person at different stages of life was especially clever. It's no wonder Syfy has a genuine hit on its hands.
Madeleine Stowe Continues to Amaze on Revenge
One of the things that separates Revenge from other primetime soap drudgery is Stowe, who continues to act like she's on HBO or something. Her reaction when she thought Daniel was dead is just another scene to add to her Give Me An Emmy portfolio.
Louis CK Talking on Parks and Recreation
That accent! That stammering! That way he said, "Fro-zenn Boo-ree-toe!"
This Kayak Ad
Kayak ads are hit and miss, but this gem would have been the best Super Bowl ad. Someone give the patient an Emmy or whatever awards go to acting in commercials.
Media Outlets Referring to Giancarlo Esposito as a Guy From Once Upon a Time
While the news that Giancarlo will make a guest appearance on Community is as Swell as can be, HELLO!?!? Giancarlo was is and always will be Gus Fring from Breaking Bad! Not some chump in a mirror in a fairy-tale show.
Why Do Reality Shows Always Take the Good Ones!?!?!?
Ben sent adorable rapper Emily packing on The Bachelor, and sweet and talented Heather rolled away her make-up bag on Face Off. It was a bad week for people who deserve victories in the reality realm.
Lori's Thought Process in The Walking Dead
Your constant stream of stupidity is shocking, and this week's drive (and crash) into town to get Hershel when you already sent Rick to do the exact same thing and made a big deal about him going because it was dangerous yet you go BY YOURSELF was idiotic even by your standards. Girl, how are you still alive!? Wait... if zombies eat brains... oh now I get it.
This Jenny McCarthy Comeback
Getting her own VH1 talk show? Hosting NBC's Love in the Wild? How many goats were harmed as a result of this black magic? Come to think of it, we'd rather watch a goat get its own talk show.
What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?