Are you ready for the Oscars!?!? The Academy Awards!?!? The validation that taking a role as a silent-film star was worth it!?!? Well if you like awards shows, you'll love this! It's a weekly awards show where we hand out trophies to everything we liked and didn't like on TV. So Free Tibet, Darfur, and whoever else, and check out this week's Swells and Hells. We promise not to play you off with orchestral music.
Stephen Colbert returns to the Colbert Nation
For those who didn’t know he was gone, he took a brief leave of absence from The Colbert Report to take care of his sick 91-year-old mother (aww, what a guy). But things are better, and he's back.
Adele's M.I.A. moment
She'd barely gotten started when some bloke told her to get off the stage so Blur could play a song at the Brit Awards. You cut her off, she'll flip you off.
Triumph's appearance at a stupid awards show
Apparently there's an awards show for dogs in Hollywood. So Conan's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog showed up and gave it the proper leg-humping it deserved.
The return of Kenny MF'n Powers
Sunday's Season 3 premiere of Eastbound & Down had all the slow-motion, potty-mouthin', and surprisingly emotional moments that we'd forgotten we were missing. We can't believe this is the last season, though!
Schmidt & Cece's Relationship continues to heat up on New Girl
While she still won't let him tell their friends that they're hooking up, his impromptu announcement to a Chinese restaurant full of strangers gave us just enough thrills to keep on rooting for this unlikely pair.
The Observers' virtual hangout room on Fringe
In this week's Fringe, "The End of All Things," Peter stepped into September's mind, a trippy den of psychedelic visuals and Christmas Carol-esque footage of Peter's life. The result was a mind-opening, eye-blowing scene where big secrets were revealed. Pass the bong, man!
Standout pilot casting for future thrillers
ABC's Last Resort, about the crew of a nuclear sub that starts its own independent nation after refusing orders to launch missiles, has cast Andre Braugher, Dichen Lachman, and Autumn Reeser. NBC's Midnight Sun, about a cult that goes missing in the arctic, has booked Michael Raymond-James and Titus Welliver. Them's some good casting there!
Ray isn't really paralyzed on Archer
"Bloody Ferlin" wasn't Archer's best episode ever, but we loved the revelation that Ray's been faking his non-working legs for half a season.
Alcatraz doesn't even know how to spell the city it takes place in
Here's a little bit of advice: If you are going set your TV show in a world-famous city, it might be a good idea to double-check how to spell that city's name. Even if it's something as obvious as S-A-N-F-R-A-N-C-I-S-C-O. But Alcatraz not only misspelled it in three instances, it also spelled it two different ways, both of them wrong. And while we're at it, the Oakland airport has its own airport code (OAK). So much FAIL here, Alkitraz. There! How does it feel?
Is Top Chef: Texas STILL isn't over yet?
Call us antsy, but is a three-episode finale really necessary?
Survivor: One World's Colton
The flamboyantly gay Republican caricature known as Colton—who refuses to talk to his male teammates while also weeping in front of the women's tribe for no reason—has so far provided a chilling suggestion that whoops, maybe it doesn't get better?
Apple's "Rock God" iPhone commercial
It's been airing constantly for the last couple weeks. Not only is the kid intolerable, but it's also a legitimate reason for the machines to rise against us. How about you stop playing Blink 182 songs and hit the books so you don't fail English, guy?
What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?