TV.com's Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision (January 14)

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We hope all your new exercise regimens haven't prevented you from watching as much TV as we have! Cause that would just make us feel lazy... or superior. Either way, here's what we loved and hated on TV this week.


Swell:



Newscasters getting tongue-tied by weird names

Jimmy Kimmel compiled local newscasts to recount this ridiculous story. Someone make a techno remix of this, please.



Once Upon a Time's flashback to Rumpelstiltskin's alternate fairytale life

The original "dark one" was revealed yielding a wand/dagger that radiated blue light and a sound effect we haven't heard since listening to the 1938 radio adaptation of War of the Worlds.



Anything that comes out of Violet's mouth on Downton Abbey

The funniest character on TV is arguably not on a sitcom at all: It's Maggie Smith's Violet Crawley.



Revenge's stunning reveal

Emily and Charlotte are half sisters! We'll drink to that! The pace of this show is phenomenal; it rewards its audience every week with new developments but never feels like its running out storylines.



Alex's racist, homophobic parrot on Happy Endings

"Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!" That'll teach her to adopt a pet on Craigslist from someone whose email address is ARyan420@yahoo.com



Charles Barkley's Joanne sketch on SNL

While casting Charles Barkley as a woman seems like a too-easy premise for a sketch, this one, in which "Joanne" came out to her friends (and boyfriend) as a lesbian was so low-key and devoid of easy punchlines that it was truly surprising. Refreshing even. Take that, Work It.



Lifetime's 24 Hour Catwalk

Just when the Project Runway format seemed like it couldn't get staler, Lifetime unveiled this newer, spunkier sister show. Sure, it's a frillier concoction, but it's high energy and has a terrific host in Alexa Chung. So far, so good.


Hell:



The most ludicrous CNN segment ever: Morning prank calls

THIS is what CNN has become. Holy Christ in a handbasket.



The ladies' meanness on Top Chef Texas

During this week's Restaurant Wars challenge (inevitably an unpleasant slog for each season's competitors), the teams were divided by gender and the aggressive animosity of Heather and Sarah toward Beverly made the challenge almost too unpleasant to stomach. Fortunately Bev won top honors, so she'll probably be okay.



The return of Dance Moms' Abby Lee Miller

Who is the worse monster, Abby or the moms who let her speak to their children? However, whether she's berating the kiddies or accusing their mothers of negligence, one thing is for certain: We can't keep our eyes off of the rotund tyrant.



Work It's whale tail fail

This.


What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?

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