's Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision (January 8)

How cold is it in the country today? Cold enough that iguanas are falling out of the trees in Florida! Thankfully, a few TV moments kept us warm this week, even as lizards fell from the sky...

A healthy, room-temperature iguana:

An awards show without Mad Men and 30 Rock
Kudos to the People's Choice Awards for not letting Tina Fey hog up every single trophy.

Paris Hilton on I Get That A Lot
Her VIP treatment as a gas station attendant was the least-annoying thing she's done since getting her head cut off in Supernatural. Feel free to insert your own "You know what else Paris Hilton gets a lot?" joke here.

The upcoming NFL Playoffs this weekend
I was looking for a reason to stay indoors all weekend, and I got it!

Lem's popcorn-that-pops-in-your-mouth idea
Better Off Ted's wacky scientist came up with the best idea ever: popcorn that pops in your mouth. Throw in some Pop Rocks and that's a mouth party for the ages.

The Food Network's Worst Cooks in America
When Wilhelmina attempted to mask her bastard creation with strategically placed silverware, we witnessed another amazing moment in reality television history.

Iguana-sicle (and not the delicious kind):

Lisa Kudrow on Cougar Town
The idea of a mini Friends reunion was good. The execution was not.

NBC's complete and utter diss of Conan O'Brien
The whole Leno/late-night shakeup needs to happen, but in the end, it's the redhead who gets the beatdown.

Michael Ian Black on Mercy
Great comedic actor, pointless storyline. Black didn't really do anything with the role, but in his defense, there was nothing to do. Can you say, "Paycheck!?"

The desperate men on Conveyor Belt of Love
You clowns all took 10 steps backward for the Men's Rights debate. Way to go. Seriously, magic tricks? And you, Mr. Virgin, just step off the podium and quit your whinin'.

MTV remaking Dawn of the Dead for TV
Ugh. Please. Don't.

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