Mid-March can only mean one thing: March Madness! To be followed shortly by March Anger, March Despair, and March Depression as your NCAA College Basketball Championship bracket fills up with red. Here's our first round of winners and losers for this week in TV.
The Walking Dead says "Kill 'em all!"
It's a zombie kind of world, so yes, people are expected to die. And lately they've been dropping like flies. Two big deaths in two weeks means this show ain't playing around. Plus, there are rumors that more fatalities are coming in this Sunday's Season 2 finale. Obvious metaphor alert: The Walking Dead is most certainly back from the dead.
My Strange Addiction hits a new low
This show is going places no show has gone before. Someone needs to sit this woman down and say, "You're in trouble." To which she'll probably reply, "What are you talking about? I don't have any urine trouble!"
Dallas Royce's crystal bust of Joy Behar on Suburgatory
Dallas's one-on-one with her crystal bust of Joy Behar was one of the most enchanting openings Suburgatory has given us yet. Somebody crack open a window!
Idol's Joshua Ledet tears the roof down in a nice way
For a couple minutes we forgot the karaoke-ness of American Idol, as Ledet had his star moment with a searing performance of "When A Man Loves A Woman." He even casually slipped off his jacket halfway through and added some quick James Brown "ha!"s at the end to seal the deal.
Alex's Miracle speech on Happy Endings
Combining Kurt Russel's speech with one from The Goonies was as adorable as it was out of context. "She's having a tiny stroke!"
EW's Game of Thrones cast portraits
Not to mention Dany and her dragon on one of the magazine's four covers. HBO's excellent fantasy epic has gone mainstream, and we're not complaining.
30 Rock's Settlers of Catan sendup
This show has really started to challenge The Big Bang Theory's monopoly on nerd references.
Archer heads to space, forces Cyril to eat vomit
Well of course Sterling Archer would ride Cyril like a dolphin and force his mouth open so Lana's barf would float into his pie hole in zero-G! Great start to the two-part season finale, which features Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston as a guest voice.
The Bachelor's finale
We all knew Ben would pick Courtney, but did ABC have to drag it out as if he might not for as long as it did with an endless assault of "I'm on a balcony thinking about stuff" shots? Also, the fact that Ben and Courtney couldn't even keep it together during Chris Harrison's "After the Final Rose" special destroyed any possible sprig of hope that the "love" expressed on this series holds any validity.
American Idol's public execution
Mothball-scented American Idol producers Nigel Lythgoe and Ken Warwick made the nauseating decision to confront contestant Jermaine Jones on camera about the outstanding warrants and criminal record he failed to disclose, then disqualified the gentle giant on the air. Awkward, cruel, and completely unnecessary. Welcome to Hollywood, dude!
So many Missing promos!
Watching all of ABC's Missing promos has been exhausting. Ashley Judd is doing all the running, screaming, crying, and plane-chasing, but we're the ones getting worn out.
The Celebrity Apprentice goes hunting (and deservedly loses a sponsor)
We were uber skeeved-out after photos of Trump's creepy son holding up the tail of an elephant as a hunting trophy were released to the public. And so was Camping World, one of The Celebrity Apprentice's sponsors for this season. It rightfully pulled its funding from the series, declaring (hopefully), "Trump, you're FIRED."
Kirk Cameron's hate rally
In light of the former Growing Pains star's recent anti-gay comments, we are forced to come to this conclusion: This guy is looney tunes! We see a run at the Republican presidential nomination in his future.
Luck's odd cancellation
There was nothing swell about this situation at all. Luck was a great show cut short by horrific, unfortunate tragedies. Just an odd ending to a potentially awesome long-running series.
What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?