TV.com's Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision (March 24)

Well, internet, this is it: the very last installment of Swell-o-Vision vs. Hell-o-Vision. Kind of. We'll still be publishing this "week in review" feature every seven days, but starting next week, it'll don a different name! Dun dun dunnn... the new title finalists are currently being discussed in a secret underground bunker, but when you check back next week, ALL WILL BE REVEALED! Rest in peace, swelly-helly, you sure looked good up there while you lasted.

Okay, that's enough sap for one intro—let's take one last, longing look at the SWELLs and the HELLs of television this week.


SWELL


Arsenio Hall's commentary on The Celebrity Apprentice


His words (in reference to Aubrey O'Day): "She is so self righteous—I can see why Diddy fired her." Ouch! You got burrrrrned, Aubs.



Brianna Brown's guest appearance on Awake


The actress previously known as "Carrie Matheson's whore friend" on Homeland played the same woman in two lives—one a successful investment banker and the other a washed-up junkie—and nailed 'em both. It was a solid performance that really sold the lesson that sometimes we need a little help to get through tough times.



Celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves on Jimmy Kimmel Live


While R.E.M’s “Everybody’s Hurts” played in the background, famous folks like Joel McHale, Will Ferrell, Kristen Bell, and David Cross shared the most hateful tweets about themselves in celebration of Twitter’s birthday. Gotta love Twitter (or not).



The Walking Dead's hooded stranger


We'd waited so patiently to see the katana-wielding zombie-imprisoning comic fave Michonne, and her brief appearance didn't disappoint.



America's Next Top Model's "British Invasion" season


It's kind of amazing in a completely horrifying way? All the typical crazy is still there, but with the bonus of additional competition (and screaming!) between the American girls and the British girls. Turns out trash-talking is even more entertaining when the person doing it has an accent.



Joe Perry serenading Steven Tyler on American Idol


Despite rumors that bad blood among bandmates may be preventing future Aerosmith reunions, Steven Tyler seemed thrilled when his old pal came out and played "Happy Birthday" for him during this week's result show. Add to that a beaming Liv Tyler in the audience, and it was a truly fun and surprising moment for a show increasingly in need of them.



A villain escapes Survivor: One World


[Spoiler alert!] The wretched Colton had to bail on competing because of health issues. The downside is he wasn't technically voted out in the righteous comeuppance he so dearly deserved, but we'll take what we can get.



Favorite TV, back again


Community is once again settling into Thursdays. Fringe ended its hiatus last night. TVD and TSC were both new this week. Even though we usually can't have all our favorite shows on the schedule at once (C U SOON, P&R;!), you can't deny it's awesome to have so many of our old pals back. Plus Mad Men tomorrow! GoT next week! Hooray!



The Secret Circle ramps it up


This week's episode was officially great: A sinister reveal, an epic betrayal, a genuinely emotional climax, a Chris Zylka underwear scene, and a couple hundred dead crows. What more could anybody want from a teen drama?


HELL


The ending of The River's first (and probably last) season


It just stopped so abruptly! That's kind of thoughtless to the viewers, don'tcha think?



The entire premise from this week's episode of Are You There, Chelsea?


First, no super-hot French chef is going to get pleasure out of fattening up an American girl. Second, as soon as she started eating his soup off the floor they'd be finished. And third, gross! We don't really see the humor in watching a character eat cake for 30 minutes. The whole episode was just really weird and un-relatable.



Neal McDonough's ass on Justified


The scene was already disturbing enough—Quarles (McDonough) snorted some Oxy, said some loony-tunes self-confidence-building lines into a mirror like Stuart Smalley, and walked into a bathroom to do who-knows-what with a male prostitute he tied up. But did he really have to strip naked and moon us? Let's hope Natalie Zea returns the favor.



American Idol song selections continue to underwhelm


Each week the contestants have been presented with ostensibly huge catalogs to pick from (including this week's Billy Joel night) yet the contestants routinely pick second- or third-tier songs. No "River of Dreams"? No "We Didn't Start the Fire" or "Uptown Girl"? What's the point of reaching back that far if you're going to pick obscure non-classics?


What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?

Comments (41)
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Swells: The Kimmel twitter bit was hilarious, Michonne/Prison reveals in TWD!, a return of good tv like community, TSC and TVD
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Oh, I remembered a Swell - Old Navy's new spring commercial. Why an Old Navy ad? Because it stars Mayim Bialik essentially reprising her role as BLOSSOM and Joey Lawrence makes a guest appearance as Joey - WHOA! My sister and I were both utterly flabbergasted at that ad, and it left my 14-year-old niece entirely confused by our reactions which was a bonus piece of entertainment.
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yay Fringe! That was an awesome episode-worth the wait. Of course, The Walking Dead did not disappoint. I had been hearing about Michonne and her katana a lot on Talking Dead this season and she finally showed up! I can see why everyone was drooling in anticipation.
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I loved the 30 Rock two-parter this week.
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Swell: 30 Rock takes a jab at Khloe Kardashian and brings Billy Baldwin to play Jack Donaghy. Also, Weird Al and Jenna's parody-off and the Blocker.



Hell: 30 Rock's Kenneth may forever be a page and the flimsy, off-putting Hazel storyline.

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Swell = Fringe Fringe Fringe, and Fringe!!!!
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Swell: Spartacus.



Hell: No love for Spartacus.
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Never do I ever wish ill on an actual human being so I had to seriously re-evaluate my attempts at being an honest to goodness decent person when Colton left Survivor for medical issues and "Thank God!" slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to clap my hand over it.



Agree that American Idol song selections sucked. On the plus...that episode may have cured my insomnia.



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Swell: Rachel Maddow calling Mitt Romney out on his lying and the casualness of it. This is what the so-called news media should be doing to public officials and candidates for public office instead of stroking them like Blofeld's cat. Statler and Waldorf on The Soup. The opening scene of CSI (Man, that cheshire cat mask was scary). Hell: The HLN morning host undermining her own critic on his review of The Hunger Games: "Did you read the book?" "Would someone who read the book like the movie more than you did?" Her questions were the kind you'd expect from some fanboy on an Internet movie board. Almost every scene on CSI dealing with Hodges' mother.



BTW, when you pick a song that most people aren't familiar with, you're less likely to suffer in comparison, and just because stanecessarily tion managers didn't choose to push a song down the public's collective throat doesn't make it a bad song.
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This is where we talk about shows not SCAMS !
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This is where we talk about shows not SCAMS !
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-walking dead season2 was so-so and the finale didnt pack a punch at all, they are losing their touch.

-I just loved to see Arsenio Hall again! what is this guy doing?
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can't wait for summer
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WALKING DEAD--OMG-- UNBELIEVABLE
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The "hell" of having a classic artists songs on Idol and playing obscure songs ticks me as it does many of us. They should write down all the hits and tell them,, PICK FROM THESE!!!
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Swell: Walking Dead Season Finale & Mad Men Season premiere!



Hell: Having to wait 'till fall for another season of the walking dead...

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I love that JK twitter video so much and Community and TSC were great too
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Wait hold on seriously? did you even actually watch "The River"? The ending did not end abruptly! If anything that show ended really good...that was the best episode of the series! I never agreed with any reviews this website gave to that show, but hey everyone has opinion (even if they clearly don't know what they're talking about!)
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Swell: Fringe (and the "AHA!" moment ending). Cas's return on Supernatural!!

Hell: Cas getting shoved into the corner AGAIN! AND LOSING HIS TRENCH COAT YET AGAIN!!
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Previously known as "Carrie Matheson's whore friend" on Homeland...?



I beg to differ. Brianna Brown is more known as Dr Lisa Niles from General Hospital. Though we actually referred to her as "Crazy Lisa", cause she was, well, crazy!
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Daytime TV doesn't count. It's like the Dinner Theater of acting...without the dinner.
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LOL!Awesome!
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Happy with the return of fav TV but TSC really needs to kill that Adam character... It is the weakest link in this show that seems to be getting their act together... Kind of....
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You can't kill someone off who was John Fucking Connor, I mean unless you want killer robots taking over the world, Hmmm?
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Actually, if Adam turns out to be the cool kind of guy who he was at the end of the latest episode, then I would like that! Thomas Dekker is a very good actor, so as much as I love, love TSC, it would be their loss if they killed of his character. He just needed fixing, and I think that elixir that made him fall out of love with Cassie is him heading in that direction.



Can't wait for next week's episode!
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Seconded.
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Swell: FRINGE!!!!!!!!

Hell: as someone else said - having to wait six days for the next one.

Hunger Games and Basketball interfering with its ratings.
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Ha, ha...I love it when you hate something (Chelsea), and I love it. I think I'll just check here more often to find out what you despise and then go and watch it because I know I'll love it. Thank you! What is way more bizarre than shows like Chelsea are your very strange tastes.
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Swell: Seacrest Hulk!
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Swell: Michonne on The Walking Dead! Also, Ken Jeong as everybody on Mary Shelly's Frankenhole. Hiralious, indeed!
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PREACH IT MY BRUTHA!!!!!! The Secret Circle was f***ing awesome this week. Blackwell isn't the big cuddly nice guy they tried to make him out to be, the parents were interesting(sans crystals) and, for the first time ever, I actually believed Cadam. They actually had some chemistry. Te only bad thing is that they didn't build the relationship up enough in previous eps to make their scenes as gut-wrenching as they could have been. Britt Robertson and Thomas Dekker are amazing actors.



F***ING AWESOME!!!!! Everyone please watch this show. I will be so heartbroken if it's cancelled.
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Swell: Community was great. Colton getting appendicitis, I know you shouldn't wish ill on anyone, but he and Alicia are just terrible human beings and he got what was coming to him.

Hell: I am a huge Billy Joel fan so I watched the my first and probably only episode of American Idol. I too was disappointed. I have over 80 of his songs and some chick sang "Everybody Has a Dream", like I have never even heard of that song. In fact you listed all the songs I wish they had sung with the addition of "Tell Her About It" or "The Downeaster Alexa".

Also no Parks. I know it is on hiatus and will return soon, but I really miss it.
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Ugh, what is it about Jimmy Kimmel where he has funny ideas and then entirely botches the execution? That drives me crazy, and his faux-Leno "honest everyman comedian" presentation makes it all the more frustrating.



Oh man, really, a screencap of Quarles' ass? Making me relive the hell of sitting through the promise of "TV-MA N" for nudity only to find out it's a middle-aged white guy's ass as he's about to rape and/or murder a rent boy. Damn you misleading TV ratings system!
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Haha, I agree with you about Kimmel. I always felt like the ideas and premises of his skits and jokes and etc. were all better than the final product.



Anyways... David Cross and Kristen Bell got me to chuckle. The rest were bleh.
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Unless you're watching "Archer," which will still show some female nudity (albeit animated), pretty much ALL nudity warnings these days mean Male Caucasian Butt. It makes me long for the equal opportunity nudity that "NYPD Blue" gave us. Every actor, male or female, could be expected to have to do that at least once.



Come on, fair is fair.

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Swell: The second half of the season finale of "Archer," not just for a nearly naked Lana (and Cheryl/Carol, of course) but also for the numerous mentions of Pod Six, a wink to the fans of Adam Reed's much earlier show, "Sealab 2021," which often referred to the "jerks in Pod Six"...or the outright destruction of said pod.



Oh, and for finally giving Bionic Barry some much needed justice. Way to go, Cyril.

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Swell: FRINGE, FRINGE, FRINGE, FRINGE, Community, FRINGE, FRINGE, season finale of Archer, FRINGE, FRINGE, The Secret Circle, FRINGE, Michonne, FRINGE, FRINGE, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand FRINGE!



Hell: Waiting six more days until the next episode of Fringe.
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Fringe was awesome!!!
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Right!
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hahaha Neal McDonough's ass
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Staff
hahaha your amazing user name! So good.
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