The Oscars celebrated the best of film on Sunday, but we've gone one step further to celebrate the best and the worst of television this week. Behold:
The finest rhymes about fancy English people you'll hear all day. Probably.
It was just a really funny image when they were facing one another and talking and Jermaine was, like, three feet taller. Don't hurt your neck there, Seacrest.
Any bad memories of the Oscars were erased as soon as this trailer aired on HBO afterward. Between the Depeche Mode-ish background music and Renly telling Stannis, "No one wants you for their king, Brother," it got us very ready for war.
To impress his wife, who he thought had a crush on the goatee'd George, Fred let his chin fuzz grow out. But what sprouted from his face was as patchy as an inner-city Little League field.
The notoriously cantankerous Hollywood blogger whose catchphrase is "Toldja!" became a hilarious punchline for Jack. She has been immortalized.
The Oscars got one thing right with this bit from Christopher Guest (Waiting for Guffman) about focus-group testing for The Wizard of Oz.
They were all pretty special, but the line, "He's Freddy Krueger-ing us in our dreams with sex!" followed by Dave's appearance in the trademark mass-murderer's getup was the icing on the cake.
Speaking of Happy Endings, there's also this! Sure, it's all about Subaru branding, but it's also pretty good. Yay semi-subliminal advertising! (More installments will be released in the coming weeks.)
For once, a rushed wedding made sense, and didn't just feel like a ratings ploy.
After Neal [SPOILER ALERT] snapped off his ankle bracelet and hopped a plane to Hawaii, his future as an FBI informant got a lot murkier... and so did most of his personal relationships. It was a surprising and gutsy turn of events for an otherwise breezy procedural, and we know one thing is true: Until the series returns this summer, we're really gonna miss that face!
PERIOD HUMOR? Really? We know Modern Family is wearing its flannel pajamas to bed instead of sexy nighties these days, but having a whole plot revolve around the three Dunphy women gettin' crazy because their cycles had synced was like the show had swung by Goodwill to drop off the sexy nighties and stock up on secondhand sweatpants.
An ad for the DVDs contained a major spoiler from an upcoming scene, and several web sites made things worse by posting said spoiler all over the internet. We're not saying what it is because we're trying to keep this thing contained like a zombie virus outbreak!
We used to think of Lisa Lampanelli as a bawdy but cheerful insult comic; now, thanks to The Celebrity Apprentice, she's nothing short of an insecure bully. Watching her tell Miss Universe to shut up and look pretty was bad enough, but seeing her tear up in the board room about always being the butt of (her own) jokes was a season lowpoint, and we're only on Episode 2.
Since it began, The River has been an exercise in the suspension of disbelief, but this week it actually made up a technology: The kidnapped cameraman's footage was transmitted wirelessly to the editing room where the crew was able to somehow triangulate its exact position and go after him. Sorry, WHAT? Cut it out, The River.
Sorry, we're just going to say it: Billy Crystal should not be asked back to host the Oscars next year. His watered-down Catskills schtick might've worked better in another time, but not when so many other incredible comedians were available. Chris Rock (again), Louis C.K., Amy Poehler, Steve Carrell, Danny McBride. Come on, Oscar, get with it.
Matt, why? Just, why? How would you like it if someone asked you about your weekly coke binges in the '90s on national TV?
What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?