Remember 2013? What a year! There was that thing that happened, and someone had a milestone something or other, and as Rick Grimes would say, "stuff." So many good moments. What? You don't remember? Hello? The end of Breaking Bad? That Game of Thrones wedding? Nick and Jess totally doin' it? Still doesn't ring a bell, eh? Well fine. Just for you, we're going to revisit 100 things about television that were great this year in a comprehensive list. We'll call it the Top 100 Everything of 2013, and we'll post it in 10 installments of 10 between now and December 31. Ready? Let's go!
100. Siberia thaws out summer television
Summer television is also known as bummer television, particularly on the broadcast networks. While all eyes were on the higher-profile Under the Dome, NBC bought Siberia at a garage sale like the night before it debuted, and underdog proved to be the better of the two. Siberia's idea of a fake reality show filmed in reality show style—right down to the "They had a camera where!?!?" goofiness—was a fun trick, and while yes, the ending may have been incomplete *ahem understatement* it beat nearly famous people jumping into a swimming pool.
99. Barry Goldberg has to call home
ABC kicked everyone's butt in comedy development this fall season, and the '80s-set family comedy The Goldbergs is a big reason why. The show's seventh and best episode to date, "Call Me When You Get There," was owned by Barry Goldberg (Troy Gentile), who followed his sister's lead to exploit the family rule and sneak out to a party in the woods. But his scheme backfired when he ended up in the middle of nowhere without a telephone in sight, forcing him to run through the wilderness screaming for his mommy. The Goldbergs defies generational gaps with its relatability, and this episode was a reminder that your parents weren't the dummies you thought they were.
98. AT&T says "It's Not Complicated"
If we have to watch commercials before getting back to our moving-pictures stories, they'd better at least be as fun and adorable as this extensive campaign by the phone monolith. The kids may be the stars, but it's new Saturday Night Live cast member Beck Bennett who really made these spots work.
97. Wilfred has a clone
While we wait for FX's trippy comedy to give us the answers to who Wilfred is (deity in dog form? A figment of Ryan's psychosis? A dog?) we'll gladly scratch the belly of whatever weird twists the odd show throws at us. It may seem simple to improve a series by doubling its best part, but the Season 3 premiere did just that in the best way possible when Wilfred met his clone, a spoiled-rotten pooch named Stinky with one of the silliest accents we've ever heard from a man in a dog costume. Yes, they synchronize-humped a couch.
96. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, Golden Globes hostesses with the mostesses
The Golden Globes are already one of the most fun-to-watch awards shows out there, if for no other reason than the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press have been known to make weird choices and there's alcohol involved. But you can't go wrong with the ever-charming and hilarious duo of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as hosts—and as the 2013 emcees, they were the perfect combination of edgy and fun. Naturally, we're thrilled that they'll be back to do it again in 2014 and 2015, too.
95. The year in bisection
For whatever reason—and we're not complaining—it wasn't enough to simply kill things on television in 2013. To really make a point, unfortunate victims had to be cut in half. One of Sharknado's toothy airborne terrors was sliced from nose to tail, American Horror Story: Coven took a chainsaw to a zombie right down the middle, and even supposed comedy Eagleheart hacked a dude in two (in true Eagleheart fashion, he lived for a while as gravity kept him together). But the iconic image of bisection came from CBS's summer disaster drama Under the Dome, when a magic impenetrable bubble landed on Chester's Mill and cut anything in its perimeter in half, including the poor cow pictured above. Udder destruction.
94. Arrested Development's "Getaway" song
Netflix's resurrection of the beloved cult comedy drew raves some and rants from others, but one thing that's been stuck in our brains since we finished our Season 4 binge is the genius of "Getaway," the earworm of a tune that pop star Mark Cherry wrote about G.O.B. after the disillusioned illusionist joined and immediately alienated the young singer's entourage in "Colony Collapse." Even though it was just a cutaway joke, it perfect encapsulated G.O.B.'s "hopelessly hopeless" nature... and we've been singing it ever since.
93. FX's The Bridge leads to weirdness
We expected the bordertown drama to be the next great thing from the hit factory that is FX. Instead, The Bridge hopped back and forth between Crazytown and Loonyville throughout most of its freshman season, giving it an odd sense of charm. The insanity boiled over in "Destino," an hour of weirdness that included a cop getting his braces removed and then having his face blown off by a sniper, a bro forced to perform cunnilingus on a mob boss, a killer who thought Mexicans were literally aliens, and aside with 2013's best new weirdo Stephen Linder, and a man high on bath salts making dubstep tracks in a trailer park while wearing a sock on his dong. The series eventually settled down into a weak serial-killer thriller, but for a brief moment, it was fascinating.
92. Community plays body swap
God bless you, Community superfans, for sticking by the comedy through its darkest and unfunniest timelines. Many of the rest of us watched Season 4 in horror as it faceplanted through episode after episode as a shell of its former self. But a glimmer of the glory days broke through in "Basic Human Anatomy," a body-swap episode written by Dean Pelton (Jim Rash). Danny Pudi and Donald Glover put on their acting hats and were phenomenal in a story that involved the two BFFs faking (?) a body switcheroo so Troy could break up with Britta. And it had all the hallmarks of the Community of old: funny gags, a well-played concept, and a surprise emotional sledgehammer.
91. Black Mirror finally brings its technophobia to the U.S.
This one probably belongs higher on the list, but since Charlie Brooker's mad genius anthology premiered in 2011 in his native U.K. and only has six episodes to its name, we had to knock it down about 90 spots. Fortunately for American viewers, satellite provider DirecTV finally imported the show for Yanks to enjoy the brilliant madness. A modern-day Twilight Zone that cautions us idiots to be careful about our relationship with technology, Brooker's insane techno-doomsday prophecies are a must-watch for any sci-fi fan with a dark sense of humor.
TV.COM'S TOP 100 EVERYTHING OF 2013