TV's 10 Most Ineligible Bachelors

The small screen is home to many eligible bachelors—How I Met Your Mother's Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) and The Office's Michael Scott (Steve Carell) come to mind—who yearn to spend Valentine's Day with a special someone. But what about the ineligible bachelors, the men who insist that they'll never give up their one-night stands in favor long-term love? We decided to give them some love... even if they won't commit to it.

10. Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) from Parks and Recreation
Tom might still be pining for his green card-seeking ex-wife, Wendy, but unrequited love didn't stop him from hitting up The Glitter Factory, Pawnee's premier strip club. Tom's a ladies' man at heart.

9. Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen) from Two and a Half Men
Okay, so Charlie is living with his girlfriend. But it took him, like, six seasons to get there. Plus, she's roughly half his age and he still wears those damn bowling shirts. He'll be a bachelor for life.

8. Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) from 30 Rock
Jack has wooed his fair share of beautiful women—Celeste (Edie Falco), Elisa (Salma Hayek), and Nancy (Julianne Moore), to be exact—yet he's still single. Let's hope he's not holding out for Liz Lemon (Tina Fey).

7. Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) from Castle
With two divorces behind him and a #9 ranking on New York's "10 Most Eligible Bachelors" list, proud playboy Castle isn't looking to settle down any time soon. Unless, of course, it's with Beckett (Stana Katic).

6. Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) from Gossip Girl
So what if Chuck is dating Blair (Leighton Meester)? He was born a player, and he'll die a player. Hell, he was hanging out in strip clubs—and enjoying the sights—well before he hit puberty. Good luck keeping Chuck on a leash, B.

5. Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier) from Entourage
His conquests number in the thousands and include Mandy Moore and Carla Gugino. No player I've ever met would quit the game with stats like that.

4. Hank Moody (David Duchovny) from Californication
A long-term girlfriend (Natascha McElhone) and several students on the side? Professor Moody's got it made. If only he could cure that writers' block...

3. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) from Mad Men
Only a true commitment-phobe would cheat on a former model like Betty (January Jones) with a bohemian artist like Midge (Rosemarie DeWitt), an heiress like Rachel (Maggie Siff), a married woman like Bobbie (Melinda McGraw), and a teacher like Miss Farrell (Abigail Spencer).

2. Quagmire (voice of Seth MacFarlane) from Family Guy
He's a registered sex offender, he's got a sex catchphrase ("Giggity giggity goo!"), and he's been known to pick up sexual partners on the side of the road. To say this guy will be single forever is an understatement.

1. Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) from How I Met Your Mother
The man has a closet full of suits, a playbook full of pickup lines, and a pile of sawdust where his many-notched bedpost used to stand. He's a legendary ladies' man—and the most ineligible bachelor on TV.


Follow TV.com writer Stefanie Lee on Twitter: @StefAtTVDotCom

Comments (36)
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Feb 28, 2012
God Barney is the best!!!
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Feb 20, 2010
Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen) from Two and a Half Men
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Feb 16, 2010
I would add Frank from 30 Rock on here. He's next exactly what you would call "a catch". http://iamnoahjames.com/
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Feb 15, 2010
castle and most likely charlie wont be bachelors for long. but it probably wont take long for charlie to screw it up and end up devorced again.
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Feb 15, 2010
lol 2 of the people on the list technically aren't technically bachelors since their interested in men not women.
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Feb 15, 2010
What about Danny Crane? and Allan Shore
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Feb 15, 2010
What about Ryan Kwanten's character from True Blood? He is much more of a manwhore than Barney Stinson, he will never stop being a redneck player.
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Feb 15, 2010
What about Moe from the Simpsons!
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Feb 14, 2010
BARNEY STINSON!!!
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Feb 14, 2010
BARNEY STINSON! hyeah :))
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Feb 13, 2010
ANTHONY DINOZZO from NCIS... I would join the navy and play up just to be handcuffed by him!!!
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Feb 13, 2010
Ill add Magee from NCIS(although he and Abby flirt)Sam from Burn Notice. Fin from Law and Order SVU
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Feb 12, 2010
Quagmire and Barney may be single, but alone?? Nahhhhh
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Feb 12, 2010
what about archer?? ARCHER!!
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Feb 11, 2010
What about House?
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Feb 11, 2010
Barney FTW !!!
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Feb 11, 2010
My first thought was Barney and you nailed it. Perhaps Dexter, Christopher Chance, any of the Big Bang Nerds (sans Leonard), the Buy More Nerds, Larry David, Noah Bennet, and any of the himbos from Jersey Shore (don't kid yourself you know they are characters not people...the Situation...need I say more).
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Feb 11, 2010
i love barney and chuck and castle the rest, ehh they can stay bacholers
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Feb 11, 2010
When I saw the title of this article I immediatley thought of Lester and Jeff from Chuck, they should really have gotten a spot imo.
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Feb 11, 2010
Glad to see Barney topping the list! Perfect week was an amazing episode last week =)
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Feb 11, 2010
The actress that plays Charlie Harper's girlfriend is 7 years younger than Charlie Sheen. Where's the "roughly half his age" thing coming from?
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Feb 11, 2010
You mean Legen-Wait for it-dary!
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Feb 10, 2010
I'll stop watching 30 rock if they pair up Jack and Liz........

that would be more ridiculous than pairing tracy and liz
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Feb 10, 2010
I would not have put Castle on the list at all, and I think Howard from The Big Bang still qualifies. I think Puck qualifies as well from Glee even if he does have a major crush on Quinn.
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Feb 10, 2010
This is a first, I watch half of the shows listed in a TV.com article.
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Feb 10, 2010
i would add Rajesh Koothrappali (acted by Kunal Nayyar) ... the dude from big bang theory ... i would've put Howard first but somehow he has a gf now....
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Feb 10, 2010
thanks, ZakAlami!
--stefanie
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Feb 10, 2010
It's Harper not Parker!
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Feb 10, 2010
Charlie Harper not "Parker"
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Feb 10, 2010
Quagmire...
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Feb 10, 2010
Giggity giggity goo!!!
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Feb 10, 2010
Oh come on, what about the Jeff and Lester double act on Chuck? They must be the two creepiest guys on TV (Jeff's antics alone should place him high on the list).
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Feb 10, 2010
I'd take Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) off this list, he and Blair are awesome together. Also isn't Charlie's last name "Harper" not "Parker"?
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Feb 10, 2010
Not bad of a list.
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Feb 10, 2010
This list isnt that bad.
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