TV's 10 Most Ineligible Bachelors

  • 36comments

The small screen is home to many eligible bachelors—How I Met Your Mother's Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) and The Office's Michael Scott (Steve Carell) come to mind—who yearn to spend Valentine's Day with a special someone. But what about the ineligible bachelors, the men who insist that they'll never give up their one-night stands in favor long-term love? We decided to give them some love... even if they won't commit to it.

10. Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) from Parks and Recreation
Tom might still be pining for his green card-seeking ex-wife, Wendy, but unrequited love didn't stop him from hitting up The Glitter Factory, Pawnee's premier strip club. Tom's a ladies' man at heart.

9. Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen) from Two and a Half Men
Okay, so Charlie is living with his girlfriend. But it took him, like, six seasons to get there. Plus, she's roughly half his age and he still wears those damn bowling shirts. He'll be a bachelor for life.

8. Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) from 30 Rock
Jack has wooed his fair share of beautiful women—Celeste (Edie Falco), Elisa (Salma Hayek), and Nancy (Julianne Moore), to be exact—yet he's still single. Let's hope he's not holding out for Liz Lemon (Tina Fey).

7. Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) from Castle
With two divorces behind him and a #9 ranking on New York's "10 Most Eligible Bachelors" list, proud playboy Castle isn't looking to settle down any time soon. Unless, of course, it's with Beckett (Stana Katic).

6. Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) from Gossip Girl
So what if Chuck is dating Blair (Leighton Meester)? He was born a player, and he'll die a player. Hell, he was hanging out in strip clubs—and enjoying the sights—well before he hit puberty. Good luck keeping Chuck on a leash, B.

5. Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier) from Entourage
His conquests number in the thousands and include Mandy Moore and Carla Gugino. No player I've ever met would quit the game with stats like that.

4. Hank Moody (David Duchovny) from Californication
A long-term girlfriend (Natascha McElhone) and several students on the side? Professor Moody's got it made. If only he could cure that writers' block...

3. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) from Mad Men
Only a true commitment-phobe would cheat on a former model like Betty (January Jones) with a bohemian artist like Midge (Rosemarie DeWitt), an heiress like Rachel (Maggie Siff), a married woman like Bobbie (Melinda McGraw), and a teacher like Miss Farrell (Abigail Spencer).

2. Quagmire (voice of Seth MacFarlane) from Family Guy
He's a registered sex offender, he's got a sex catchphrase ("Giggity giggity goo!"), and he's been known to pick up sexual partners on the side of the road. To say this guy will be single forever is an understatement.

1. Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) from How I Met Your Mother
The man has a closet full of suits, a playbook full of pickup lines, and a pile of sawdust where his many-notched bedpost used to stand. He's a legendary ladies' man—and the most ineligible bachelor on TV.

Follow writer Stefanie Lee on Twitter: @StefAtTVDotCom

Like on Facebook