Nine times out of ten, webisodes based on television series are awful. Remember the Lost ones? We endlessly scoured those things for clues and all we could mine from them was the revelation that they were a waste of time. Like Lost, The Walking Dead is generating a lot of buzz, and to prep viewers for the Season 2 premiere, which airs October 16, AMC has released six Walking Dead webisodes.
It appears that the trend of "AMC does everything better" also applies to webisodes, because these aren't that bad! And the best part? They tell the origin story of Bicycle Zombie girl, the torn-in-half zombie that Rick Grimes saw in the series pilot. Check these out, read my commentary, and please accept my apologies for all the ads in advance.
I'm a sucker for anything that starts off with a car crash. We've all been there, am I right or am I right? I'm also a sucker for moms who lose track of their kids. That's some seriously bad momming! And I'm also a sucker for birthday parties that get interrupted by zombies showing up and eatint all the guests. Talk about a surprise party! All in all, I can't think of any better way to spend three minutes.
If there's one thing that takes the thrill out of a zombie apocalypse, it's a divorced mom and dad talking about custody rights. How did this actually make it into a series of webisodes!? What's the next one going to be about, the couple's taxes? Or perhaps what they're going to eat for dinner? Also, it appears the man who was originally slated to play the dad was sick that day and they grabbed one of the caterers to do the acting. Stick to making scrambled eggs, dude!
Rule number three of a zombie apocalypse: Never give a zombie mouth-to-mouth, even if she's hot. Seriously, just don't do it. Okay, maybe if she's REALLY hot. Like if Alison Brie was lying on the ground after a zombie attack, I'd do it. And then I'd brag. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. After the mouth-to-mouth, this one goes downhill... until the dad from the last webisode shoots his new wife. Isn't it crazy how everyone makes a big deal out of shooting your wife, but once she turns into a zombie it's okay? Laws are crazy! Also, what happened to shooting zombies in the head? Has this guy ever seen an episode of The Walking Dead? I already hate him and hope he dies. It doesn't even have to be from zombies. Maybe a piano will fall on his head. A zombie piano!
If you've been waiting and waiting for a webisode where people talk a lot, then you'll love this one! This is like the My Dinner With Andre of zombie webisodes, but you know what? It's pretty good! I love how this guy had the worst fiftieth birthday party ever, yet is so cool about it. Shot my wife. Oh well. The zombie kids upstairs are nagging me. Oh well. Got bit by a zombie. Oh well. Buckshot to the brain? Best present ever! I like this guy because he hates the guy I hate. And because he looks like Michael Chiklis' and Dean Norris' long lost brother.
You think YOUR stepmom is bad? Get a load of this pretend mother! I don't want to be too critical or anything, but I think this lady is kind of overacting with her exaggerated zombie walk. How hard is it to act like a zombie? This is a gig that actors call a "gimme," and she blew it! This webisode offers proof that kids never ever make the right decisions. Hiding in a closet never works. Also, umbrellas are pretty low on the list of effective zombie-apocalypse weapons, just ahead of empty chili can. Kids are so stupid. But, things end with an axe to the head, so I have to bump its grade up higher than it deserves.
Yes! Those neighbor kids got Stupid Dad back for shooting their dad! Serves you right, Stupid Dad, for not shooting them like your neighbor asked you to. Also, I love how Mom couldn't wait to leave her horrible ex-husband behind and take the kids. That guy was a jerk, even by stepdad standards! But just when I was starting to like her, she broke horror movie rule number two: Always leave your kids behind! They're deadweight! But she also broke horror movie rule number one: CHECK THE BACKSEAT! Still, this webisode was pretty sad, and I love tragedies. And nothing is more tragic than a mom watching her kids run away while she gets ripped in half by zombies. I think that was also the plot to Macbeth.
Grade: A (would have been an A+ but AMC tricked us with a few minutes of credits)
Overall, I have to give AMC credit. I'm now more excited for The Walking Dead's return than I was twenty minutes ago. You win, AMC!