We Made a Special Bingo Card for Your Oscars Viewing Party

Oscar night is fast approaching—it's this Sunday!—and if you're throwing an Oscar party you're going to have a lot of time to fill. Let's face it, this award ceremony goes on and on forever and snarking on clothes and eating cupcakes can only last so many hours. So why not dazzle your guests with TV.Com's Oscar Bingo? Or at least distract them from wondering out loud whether they should get a Rooney Mara colonic/Rooney Mara's haircut.

The rules are so simple that even a wide-eyed first-time awards presenter could explain them to you: Put a penny or button over each square after the action or object described within it appears in the telecast (or take a refreshing sip or shot of a favorite beverage—in my case, peppermint schnapps, it tastes clean!). The first person to notice a whole row WINS! Or puts on a lampshade on their head and jumps around the room screaming, "Body like Arnold and a Denzel face!!!" depending on whether or not I'm at your party.

"But if our cards are all the same, won't we all get bingo?" It's all about being the most eagle-eyed, guys! The more creatively you interpret each square, the better the chances! So enjoy Oscar night!!! And be glad you don't have to hold your breath for four hours trussed up in a gown three sizes too small like those poor millionaires attending in person. (Don't feel too bad, they all get, like, ambassadorships in their swag bags.)

The 85th Annual Academy Awards air LIVE on Sunday, February 24 at 8pm Eastern on ABC.

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