Rejoice! For it is the weekend, a two-day vacation during which you can run errands, perform manual labor, organize your paperwork... you know, relax. And keeping you company through this time of "relaxation" will be your ever-loving television. Here's proof!
What to watch on Friday, December 2...
A Gifted Man
Pretty Kate and dreamy Michael team up to save a clinic patient who may have a deadly virus. Meanwhile, at the rich people's hospital, Michael treats an anxious bride with a potentially ill mother. No telling what that soggy ghost wife will be up to, but probably emoting beatifically?
Tonight Bobby decides to solve one of his own personal cold cases and revisits the past in order to do so. Sam and Dean, for there part, will be racing against the clock for some reason because that's just how they roll.
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, NBC
Game of Your Life
In tonight's feature-length Proctor & Gamble ad, an overachieving high school video gamer must make a tough decision when he earns a scholarship from a billionaire gaming legend. (I'm confused about this premise also.)
SEASON 25 PREMIERE, 9pm, Lifetime
America's Most Wanted
You just can't keep a good John Walsh down! The surprise return of America's Most Wanted finds it 25 years young and also airing on Lifetime Television for Women. In addition to the usual crime re-enactments, expect LOTS of purple chyrons and also plenty of edgy tampon ads.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 8 p.m., ABC
Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas, ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8 p.m., Disney Channel
Nikita, 8 p.m., CW
Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 8 p.m., Cartoon Network
CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS
Fatal Attractions, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Blue Bloods, 10 p.m., CBS
Boss, 10 p.m., Starz
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
My Extreme Animal Phobia, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Onion News Network, 10 p.m., IFC
Starving Secrets with Tracey Gold, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 P.M., Lifetime
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 10 p.m., TBS
Marvel Anime: X-Men, 11 p.m., G4
Ana Gasteyer on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Hilary Swank on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Maya Rudolph & Damian Lewis on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Mekhi Phifer on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
What to watch on Saturday, December 3...
Saturday Night Live
There are no hard and fast rules about life, but if you want a hard-ish, fast-ish rule, it's that character actors tend to make the best SNL hosts. For one thing, they can act. Okay, maybe it's just that one reason. Anyway! Tonight it's Steve Buscemi walking the boards, and providing the jammy jams will be musical guests The Black Keys.
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Hallmark
A Princess for Christmas
This is just a gritty, realistic tale about a woman who spends Christmas with a wealthy duke and falls in love with his son. Expect profundity and anguished tears.
HOLIDAY CLASSIC, 8pm, NBC
It's a Wonderful Life
Tonight NBC brings us another one of its HD presentations of an old holiday gem. In this case it's Frank Capra's the-grass-is-not-necessarily-greener classic about a man who fantasizes about the mass ruination he'd cause by not existing. It's a nice lesson and all, but don't flatter yourself?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Ultimate Fighter, 8 p.m., Spike
48 Hours Mystery, 9 p.m., CBS
Primeval, 9 p.m., BBC America
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Bizarre E.R., 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Graham Norton Show, 10 p.m., BBC America
Would You Rather? With Graham Norton, 11 p.m., BBC America
What to watch on Sunday, December 4...
Once Upon a Time
Tonight many characters find themselves at crossroads, particularly David, who must choose between Mary Margaret and Kathryn. Meanwhile something happens to Prince Charming that'll change his life forever. Could be anything! Sorry, I'm not going to spoil it for you. Relax.
It seems like everyone I know (including myself, which is technically 12 percent of the people I know) got caught up on Homeland during Thanksgiving weekend. Isn't is so good?? But only three episodes remain in the season, and tonight's sees Carrie and Saul attempting to pursue the shady diplomat despite his legal immunity. Plus Brody must decide whether or not to run for office.
Last week's shocking heartbreaker will be followed up tonight as Nucky and Margaret try to make the best of a bad situation. In a presumably happier plotline, Jimmy will recall his time at college.
I'm on the record calling this season a disaster, but I'll allow that Dexter still may have at least a few thrills up its sleeve before it's over. Tonight our hero races to stop DDK before another victim is smited, plus Deb's psychological struggles continue.
ORIGINAL MINISERIES, 9pm, Syfy
In this expensive-looking two-part miniseries with a rad cast, Rhys Ifans, Anna Friel, Bob Hoskins, and Keira Knightley trundle around a Neverland in a time before Peter Pan ever met Wendy and before Hook donned his fancy new hand. What's weird is that Bob Hoskins plays Smee in both this AND Hook? Very creative casting director!
ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9pm, TLC
In this week's most internet-anticipated-for-ironic-reasons TV special, TLC profiles several adults who have heretofore avoided sexual conduct, which for some of them even includes kissing. Be careful though, highly rated TLC specials tend to become TLC series faster than teens can get pregnant from sharing hot tubs.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m., ABC
Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS
Ned Bruha: Skunk Whisperer, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox
2011 Britannia Awards, AWARDS SPECIAL, 8:30 p.m., TV Guide Channel
Allen Gregory, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m., ABC
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Leverage, 9 p.m., TNT
Next Iron Chef: Super Chefs, 9 p.m., Food Network
The Real Housewives of Atlanta, 9 p.m., Bravo
The Good Wife, 9 p.m., CBS
The Cleveland Show, 9:30 p.m., Fox
All-American Muslim, 10 p.m., TLC
Carlos Mencia: New Territory, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Chef Roblé & Co., SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Bravo
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS
Hell on Wheels, 10 p.m., AMC
Hung, 10 p.m., HBO
Kourtney and Kim Take New York, 10 p.m., E!
Pan Am, 10 p.m., ABC
Robot Chicken, 11:30 p.m., Cartoon Network
What are you watching this weekend?