Oh heyyy, good looking! Oh, sorry, I was distracted by my reflection on the computer screen. But it's good to see you, too, I swear. We've got a number of big finales coming up this weekend, so I hope you're READY! Here's this weekend's TV line-up:
What to watch on Friday, August 24...
SEASON 19 PREMIERE, 8pm, The CW
America's Next Top Model
She's baaaack! America's biggest diva, Tyra Banks, is back to host her nineteenth (count 'em) season of the show, but this year the focus will be on higher education. The first episode of this college edition, "The Girl Who Makes the Grade," will introduce us to thirteen college girls all competing for the title of "Top Model"—you know, as a fall back in case their degrees don't work out.
In "Through and Through" Kane will hire an ambitious new member of his staff and nab an aide from his opponent after a suffering through a personal tragedy that he soon realizes could benefit his political agenda. Well, that's one way to look for the silver lining, I guess.
SPECIAL, 10pm, Science
The Secret Life of Chaos
Ah, the advent of life—and the never-ending scientific pursuit to understand what could have happened in those first few moments of the Earth's existence. In tonight's special, Professor Jim Al-Khalili walks us through the process. How could a world covered in nothing but dust eventually become home to not only life, but intelligent life?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
20/20, 9 p.m., ABC
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Bering Sea Gold: Under the Ice, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Discovery
Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, SEASON PREMIERE, 9pm, TLC
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 9 p.m., TBS
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Eden Eats, 10 p.m., Cooking
Fashion Police, 10 p.m., E!
I Found the Gown, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TLC
Lost Girl, 10 p.m., Syfy
Real Time With Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO
The Dead Files Revisited, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Travel
The Secret Life of Chaos, 10 p.m., Science
Yukon Men, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Discovery
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
What to watch on Saturday, August 25...
SPECIAL, 9pm, VH1
Hard Rock Calling 2012
One of the best things about TV is that even when there's a concert half-way around the world that you'd never even dream of being able to attend in real life, you can. It's kind of like TV's not real life, you know? Imagine that. Anyway, Hard Rock Calling 2012 features performances from London's famous Hyde Park. Artists include Paul Simon, John Fogerty, Soundgarden, Tom Morello, and of course Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band. Also making a not-so-surprise appearance? Paul McCartney, himself. If you don't have Pandora programmed into your TV yet, this is the next best thing!
SPECIAL, 9pm, BBC America
The Destinations of Doctor Who
These Doctor Who specials are on a roll! This week the series dives into the many destinations where the TARDIS has landed. Which one was your favorite? Or least favorite, even?
SPECIAL, 10pm, Showtime
Katt Williams: Kattpacalypse
Word to the wise: Katt Williams is actually really short in real life. Not sure what's "wise" about that, really, but it's factual, at least. He's also really funny in real life, but unlike height, that generally comes across on screen. In tonight's Showtime comedy stand-up special, Katt will tackle everything from Doomsday to Obama—though something tells me he doesn't correlate the two.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
My Cat From Hell, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 8 p.m., OWN
Celebrity Ghost Stories, 9 p.m., Biography
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Wicked Attraction, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
WrestleMania 28 -- Rock vs. Cena, 9 p.m., NBC
You Gotta See This!, 9 p.m., Nickelodeon
Dark Matters: Twisted but True, 10 p.m., Science
ER Nights, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit Health
Princess, 10 p.m., CNBC
The uneXplained, 10 p.m., Biography
What to watch on Sunday, August 26...
Drop Dead Diva
Sure, why not? You should watch this. In tonight's "Picks & Pakes" Jane turns into an Internet sensation after mistakenly giving Nancy Grace a black eye on national television. Um, listen, if you don't tune in just for the sake of seeing Nancy Grace with a black eye, you're taking crazy pills. On a less cameo-driven note, Stacy's business may be just short of going under after a customer complains that he owns the patent on the Pake.
SEASON 5 FINALE 9pm, HBO
In the fifth season finale, "Save Yourself," Andy will have to come to terms with the consequences of his broken pact, Eric takes one last shot at foiling the Authority's plans and saving Bill's humanity while Luna and Sam try to escape from the Authority, and Alcide must prepare for a face-off with JD. Let's just hope it doesn't end on a cliffhanger.
Man, that Walt—don't you just want to shake him? Haven't you been sitting through this season just secretly hoping for any sign of redemption out of him at all? Something tells me we won't get any this weekend, either: In "Say My Name" Walt takes hold of his new plans to continue manipulating Jesse and build an empire while Mike attempts to deal with the consequences of his actions—you know, the one where he promised a drug lord one thousand gallons of meth, and the other where he essentially threatened the DEA.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, HBO
Where oh where has this season left this newsroom? In "The Greater Fool," which also happens to be the season finale, Sloan is offered a new job and must decide whether or not to leave her team, Mac is rocked when she learns the rumors that gossip columnist Nina Howard has been spreading around town, Neal will use his Internet alias to prevent a potential disaster, and Leona and Reese get confronted by Mac, Charlie, and Will in the middle of a heated lunch meeting. Glad to hear everybody's feeling peachy.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 10:30pm, Showtime
In the season finale, Merc reacts to the discovery that his wife had an affair with Matt by threatening to leave Jamie for Carol. It's a very rational, adult decision, don't you think? Also, Sean is absolutely devastated when he shows up to the "Man of the Year" awards and notices that Beverly has brought Rob as her date. Ten bucks this season ends on a romantic profession monologue?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
Cupcake Wars, 8 p.m., Food
Jerseylicious, 8 p.m., Style
Leverage, 8 p.m., TNT
Off the Hook: Extreme Catches, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Sunday Best, 8 p.m., BET
Survivorman Ten Days, 8 p.m., Discovery
Women on Death Row, 8 p.m., Bio
Oprah's Next Chapter, 8:30 p.m., OWN
Bar Rescue, 9 p.m., Spike
Big Ang, 9 p.m., VH1
Hell on Wheels, 9 p.m., AMC
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Ice Road Truckers, 9 p.m., History
Keeping Up With the Kardashians, 9 p.m., E!
Nick News With Linda Ellerbee, 9 p.m., Nickelodeon
Nail Files, 9 p.m., TV Guide
One Car Too Far, 9 p.m., Discovery
Sins & Secrets, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
The Great Food Truck Race, 9 p.m., Food
All American Handyman, 10 p.m., HGTV
Army Wives, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Call of the Wildman, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Copper, 10 p.m., BBC America
Flip Men, 10 p.m., Spike
I Survived, 10 p.m., Bio
Iron Chef America, 10 p.m., Food
Lovetown, USA, 10 p.m., OWN
Married to Jonas, 10 p.m., E!
On the Case with Paula Zahn, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Strange Sex, 10 p.m., TLC
Taboo, 10 p.m., NatGeo
The Great Escape, SEASON 1 FINALE, 10 p.m., TNT
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime
Black Dynamite, 11:30 p.m., Adult Swim
Aqua Something You Know Whatever, 12 a.m., Adult Swim
Squidbillies, 12:15 a.m., Adult Swim
What are you watching this weekend?