Y'all ready for this? [Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh] JOCK JAMZ! Anyway, it's the weekend! Here are some things to watch during it:
What to watch on Friday, June 15...
ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8pm, ABC
Countdown to Niagara: The Greatest Megastunts of All Time
So, if you haven't heard, tonight ABC will be devoting its entire primetime to a live broadcast of some dude walking a tight rope over Niagara Falls. To get you mentally prepared and/or in the mood for such shenanigans, here's a special all about the most daring stunts in history! Will it include the time you drove around town with an expired registration sticker? Or the time you ate sour cream a full four days past its expiration date? Either of those things might be featured tonight. Tune in!
LIVE EVENT, 9pm, ABC
Megastunts: Highwire Over Niagara Falls LIVE!
Let's be real, the whole point of this thing is the potential for professional daredevil Nik Wallenda to fall off the tightrope and wash up on the riverbank two days later. If that was not an option we probably wouldn't be watching, right? So good luck, daredevil Nik Wallenda! We are all SORTA rooting for you!
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, USA
In the aptly titled "Finale," Kate uncovers a bigger scandal after looking into the firing of a lesbian couple. But none of that work stuff will compare to the REAL drama: Kate will also have to make a decision between Justin and Ben! Whew, just a terrible situation to be in.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Investigation Discovery
This here is yet another Investigation Discovery series about real life murders during which you shouldn't eat a sandwich, but the twist is that each episode is told from the vantage point of the killer! Aaaahhhh! I don't want to be in your head, killer! Anyway, TWO new episodes kick off the series; the first follows serial killer Arthur Shawcross aka the Genesee River Killer while the second profiles Gary Heidnik and his assorted atrocities. Feel-good television, basically.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Top 100 Video Games of All Time, FINALE, 8 p.m., G4
Dateline NBC, 9 p.m., NBC
Deadly Seas, 9 p.m., Discovery
The Ricky Gervais Show, 9 p.m., HBO
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Comedy Bang! Bang!, 10 p.m., IFC
Common Law, 10 p.m., USA
Embarrassing Bodies, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Flying Wild Alaska, 10 p.m., Discovery
Insane or Inspired?, 10 p.m., Syfy
Real Time with Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO
Bunk, 10:30 p.m., IFC
Storytellers: Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, 11 p.m., VH1
The Half Hour: David O'Doherty & Jesse Popp, 11 p.m., Comedy Central
What to watch on Saturday, June 16...
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Lifetime
Blue Lagoon: The Awakening
Well, you know, why not? It's not like the original was a masterpiece or anything. So yeah, tonight the old, slightly pervy, underage Brooke Shields vehicle gets a 2012 redo. It'll probably feature less full-frontal nudity seeing as it's on Lifetime, but the plot remains similar: Two youths end up stranded on a deserted island and discover all the thrilling thrills that occur when you look like the people pictured above and have A LOT of spare time.
Celebrity Ghost Stories
The main thing to know about tonight's installment of Celebrity Ghost Stories is that one of the featured guests is Reginald VelJohnson! That's right, Carl Winslow himself will be discussing phantasms. The other celebrities include Erik Estrada, Micah "Paranormal Activity" Sloat, and singer Joan Osborne, who as we all know once met a supernatural gentleman riding the bus.
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 9pm, Syfy
Michael Madsen and Rachel Hunter star in this very good-seeming Syfy Original about an anaconda with a piranha head. Intrigued? Of course you are. Here's the trailer:
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Woolly Mammoth: Secrets From the Ice, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., Discovery
How to Be a Gentleman, 8:30 p.m., CBS
Oddities, 9 p.m., Science
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 10 p.m., A&E;
Real Life: The Musical, 10 p.m., OWN
StandUp in Stilettos, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TV Guide Network
Tanked: Unfiltered, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
The Firm, 10 p.m., NBC
Flipped Off, 11 p.m., A&E;
The Graham Norton Show, 11 p.m., BBC America
The Thick of It, 12 a.m., BBC America
Katy Brand's Big Ass Show, 12:40 a.m., BBC America
What to watch on Sunday, June 17...
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, TNT
Some shows go on hiatus and you're like, "Oh my heck, the wait is killlllling me! What will happen next???" And then there's Falling Skies, where it's like, "Hey, remember that? Huh. Okay, well, I guess I'll watch." In other words, it wasn't terrible but it certainly wasn't good enough to think about even once since Season 1 concluded. Let's hope Season 2 is more must-watch? Anyway, tonight enjoy a double dose of new episodes beginning with "Worlds Apart" in which Pope takes a big leadership position within the 2nd Mass and Tom returns from his hangout session with the skitters and finds that nobody trusts him anymore. Then in "Shall We Gather at the River," Tom continues to be haunted by his alien experience and Ben grapples with an increasing rage toward the skitters.
AWARDS SPECIAL, 9pm, Fuse
MuchMusic Video Awards
You U.S. readers might be curious about what Canada's answer to the MTV Video Music Awards might be like—Surely it's a more polite and tasteful affair than our homegrown trainwreck, right? Well look at the lineup of performers and YOU TELL ME: Justin Bieber, Flo Rida, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, and LMFAO. Exactly.
SEASON 4 FINALE, 9pm, Showtime
In its Season 4 finale entitled "Handle Your Scandal," Jackie is pushed to her breaking point and it may or may not get her fired! Meanwhile Grace gets enrolled in public school, Dr. O'Hara goes into labor, and Jackie is pulled away by a more pressing ER case. (So she doesn't get fired then? You're confusing me, Showtime blurb!)
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, AMC
AMC's most notorious frustrator wraps up its second season tonight with "What I Know," in which Sarah and Holder's investigation comes to a close; Richmond has a change of plans; and the Larsens get a measure of closure from a surprising source! Is it Huggy Bear? (It is probably not Huggy Bear.)
In "Authority Always Wins," Eric and Bill are interrogated at the Authority headquarters. Elsewhere, Pam reveals how she and Eric first met; Alcide strikes out on his own; Steve Newlin continues going after what he wants; and Jason faces the repercussions of a lifetime of womanizing. All that, plus probably a lot of nudity. Always the nudity.
SEASON 3 FINALE, 9:30pm, Showtime
The Big C
Season 3 closes out with "Fly Away," in which Cathy has an important encounter with a mysterious stranger. Plus Paul has a thing with an American tourist and Sean panics after Cathy fails to return to the dive boat.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10:30pm, HBO
Tonight Girls closes out its super solid first season with "She Did," in which Jessa throws a mystery party; Hannah has an incident with Adam; Marnie attempts to be free-spirited for once; and Shoshanna goes on a date. Big things, basically! No, really. This show makes mundane events seem so riveting. Gonna miss u, Girls.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Game Night, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 7 p.m., ABC
2012 U.S. Open Golf Championship, SPORTS EVENT, 8 p.m., NBC
Mob Wives Chicago, 9 p.m., VH1
NBA Finals: Game 3, SPORTS EVENT, 8 p.m., NBC
American Ninja Warrior, 9 p.m., G4
Drop Dead Diva, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Food Network Star, 9 p.m., Food Network
Ice Road Truckers, 9 p.m., History
Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 9 p.m., E!
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Nightmare Next Door, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Oprah's Next Chapter: Paris Jackson, 9 p.m., OWN
Sister Wives, 9 p.m., TLC
The Glades, 9 p.m., A&E;
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Head Games, 10 p.m., Discovery
Longmire, 10 p.m., A&E;
Mrs. Eastwood & Company, 10 p.m., E!
The Borgias, SEASON 2 FINALE, 10 p.m., Showtime
The Client List, SEASON 1 FINALE, 10 p.m., Lifetime
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Metalocalypse!, 12:15 a.m., Cartoon Network
The Eric Andre Show, 12:30 a.m., Cartoon Network
What are you watching this weekend?