What to Watch This Weekend: Fringe, a Doctor Who Special, and a Family Guy Christmas

What to watch on Friday, December 21...

9pm, Fox
According to the episode description for “Anomaly XB–6783746,” actions have terrifying consequences, which if I’m not mistaken is Newton’s Third Law of TV Drama. With time running out for the Fringe team to save the world, can Nina Sharp help them realize their plan to defeat the dastardly Observers?

Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids
Two new episodes of whatever the hell this is air tonight, in case you’d like to spend your Friday evening in the company of indecisive brides, frustrated bridesmaids, and a woman pitting her daughter and future stepdaughter against one another for the trophy of her maternal love.

10pm, BBCA
The Brit List: The Doctor Who Ultimate List of Lists
Now, in my experience, TV fans aren’t the type of people who like to rank things, especially not genre TV fans, and especially not genre TV fans on the internet. Yet somehow, BBC America got enough people to vote on its website for the Top 5 Doctor Who Companions, the Top 5 Scariest Doctor Who Moments, the Top 5 Things You’ll Only See on Doctor Who, and more. Tune in for the chance to yell about how everyone on the internet is now wrong on two screens simultaneously.

10pm, IFC
Whisker Wars
The last stop on the 2012 American Bearding Circuit is the East Coast Beard and Mustache Championships in Philadelphia. If you can’t believe you just read those words in a sentence, just imagine how baffled I am to have been paid to write them. Anyway, IFC.com says that this week, Jack Passion “desperately” needs a win, so send some positive hirsute vibes toward the City of Brotherly Love, shan’t you?

– Terry Bradshaw, Elle Fanning, and Chris Mann on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Jay Thomas and Darlene Love on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 am, CBS
– Paul Rudd, Mario Batali, and Rod Stewart on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Jamie Foxx and Bianca Kajlich on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS


What to watch on Saturday, December 22...

8pm, Fox
It’s a very COPS Christmas! The officers of Portland, Ore.; Las Vegas; and Alameda County, Calif. are making their lists and checking them twice, which seems like overkill because every name on said lists probably falls into the one column.

8pm & 9pm, CBS
Made in Jersey
Holy... CBS STILL has episodes of Made in Jersey in the can? At least two of ‘em, apparently, which will be burned off tonight. “Wingman” is about a jewelry store heist, and “Ancient History” is about a nightclub owner accused of murder. God speed, Made in Jersey. At least you’re getting a fonder send-off than Partners. Sort of.

9pm, Animal Planet
The Year in Pup Culture
It’s an hour of puppies. Oh, sure, the show will try to tie in their assorted adorable capering with allusions to 2012’s big news stories and blockbuster movies. A schnauzer will probably hold a bow and arrow in its mouth at some point. But mostly, it’s just 60 minutes of puppies, puppy-ing around for your “awwwwwing” pleasure. Suck it, BuzzFeed.

9pm, Science
Aaaand on the opposite end of the adorableness spectrum, Oddities gives us “Holiday Bizarre 2.” This year’s collection of seasonally themed eccentricities includes a surprise Solstice party twist involving a wax artist, a Secret Santa gift for a tattoo enthusiast, and an encounter with an Evil Santa, because it just isn’t Ironic Christmas without Evil Santa.


What to watch on Sunday, December 23... What to watch on Sunday, December 23…

9pm, History
Ax Men
An episode called “Sabotage” features “a plot to remove DJ.” So, to sum up: Sabotage, a plot to remove someone, and men with axes. I think we all see where this is going.

SEASON 5 FINALE, 9pm, Food Network
The Next Iron Chef: Redemption
Three chefs remain as the two-part finale opens with a challenge involving ingredients the judges are most passionate about. Two of them will move on to the big showdown in Kitchen Stadium, where the final test requires them to curry the favor of Iron Chefs Bobby Flay, Michael Symon, and Masaharu Morimoto by paying tribute to their respective culinary heritages. Only then can a winner be crowned (I’m assuming they get an actual crown except it’s shaped like a chef’s hat).

9pm, Fox
Family Guy
Get ready for some Family Guy Bible stories in “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Peter relays the tale of the Nativity, no doubt with all the beatific reverence and humble piety we’ve come to expect from the Seth MacFarlane canon.

9:30pm, Fox
American Dad
Francine’s secret past as an infant who was trapped in a well is relived in the present when she falls down the same well, only to make a shocking discovery; Will Forte guest-stars as a heroic fireman in National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She’s Doing Well: The Hole Story. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger go into business selling male stripper shoes.


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