As you might be aware, we ALL have a thing for television; specifically when it makes us laugh or cringe in horror. Thankfully, the next three days' programming offers both, plus a splash of strange. So, grab your leopard-print Snuggie (I've already got mine on), and enjoy this weekend's TV lineup.
What to watch on Friday, October 12...
8pm, Animal Planet
Monsters Inside Me
Some of the most feared monsters on the planet can actually be found inside of us. I know, gross. But, I did promise cringe-inducing entertainment. In "Something's Eating My Son Inside Out," a powerful, nasty parasite pushes a pregnant model toward suicide. (!) Elsewhere, a boy on summer vacation contracts a flesh-eating disease. And finally, a "hidden" killer threatens to suffocate a college student. Okay, who's hiding under the couch?
In "2,918 Miles," Mac and Jo find evidence at a crime scene on the Brooklyn Bridge that forces them to travel approximately 2,918 miles in search of a missing teenage girl. Can you guess where they'll be headed? Hint: It's a city with a famous red bridge.
In "The Bottle Imp," Hank and Nick take on a gruesome (when isn't it gruesome?) murder case, leading them to what looks like a bitter custody battle (but of course there's more to it than that). Meanwhile at the spice shop, Monroe tries to help out by filling in for Rosalee, but realizes it isn't as easy as he'd hoped it would be.
Tonight's episode features "people devoted to recording human history," and we're all in favor of all shows that feature "people devoted to recording human history," right? In "The Recordist," Walter, Olivia, Peter, Astrid, and Etta find themselves in a forest populated by a strange group of people who call themselves recordists with the ability to—you guessed it—record human history. Sounds cool! While there, Walter and Olivia somehow get infected with a mysterious disease. Not so cool.
SEASON FINALE 10pm, Cinemax
In "Greatness Is Built on the Fight," Scott questions Bryant about her role in Knox's plan. Meanwhile, Stonebridge is caught up with bad thoughts... like some good ol' fashioned revenge (dun, dun, dun!!!).
Miley Cyrus and Rove McManus on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
John Goodman on Late Night With David Letterman, 11:35 a.m., CBS
Salma Hayek Pinault, Andrew Lincoln, and Peter Gabriel on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Dennis Quaid and Ellie Kemper on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON FRIDAY?
What to watch on Saturday, October 13...
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
For you early birds Star Wars nerds, may I suggest a cartoon? I stopped watching cartoons when I hit 18, but The Clone Wars isn't "just a kids show." Or, at least that's what most of my geek-friends tell me. Here's the official word on this weekend's episode, "Front Runners": "Supervised by Ahsoka, the Onderon rebels carry out a series of strikes throughout the city, and the Separatist-aligned king must deal with the growing rebellion." .
SEASON 2 PREMIERE 8pm, Animal Planet
Have you been watching Animal Planet's Too Cute series? If so, who do you think will be the cutest in tonight's episode, "Fluffy Puppies & Baby Goats?" I vote fluffy goats! Plus we also meet a young German shepherd and a pair of twin French bulldog pups. Too cute!
9pm, BBC America
If there's one thing we've learned about Bedlam Heights, it's that no one escapes the ghosties. In tonight's "Pool of Tears," Ellie and Max try to save a young woman who's been thrown in the pool. Meanwhile, Dan gets closer to finding "mystery blogger." May I suggest tracking down his IP address? That's how I would find him.
Saturday Night Live
Up All Night's Christina Applegate is this weekend's host—for the first time since the early '90s—and I'm hoping she'll bring with her some old-school flavor. Indie-pop band Passion Pit, a band that's best-known for their sultry-electronic grooves, is the musical guest.
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON SATURDAY?
What to watch on Sunday, October 14...
Once Upon a Time
In "Lady of the Lake," Emma and Mary Margaret attempt to find a portal that would bring them back to Storybrooke, but a dark force threatens their safety. Meanwhile on the eve of meeting Prince Charming's mother, King George poisons Snow White, and the only remedy lies within the waters of... the Lady of the Lake! Episode titles can be so helpful sometimes.
SEASON 3 PREMIERE 9pm, AMC
The Walking Dead
The zombie apocalypse starts up again with The Walking Dead's Season 3 premiere, "Seed," in which the world grows more dangerous for Rick and the others as they continue to wander in circles looking for some shelter. Also, Lori's pregnancy becomes a concern. My concern is, will they find a safe place to hide out that's less boring than that dang farm? Like, say, the prison we saw at the end of last season?
In tonight's "Buck The System" Dexter tries to bring Deb on board with his new target and we'll get to meet Hannah McKay, played by Chuck's Yvonne Strahovski.
Here comes another hour of intense, nail-biting drama, but it's so worth it. In tonight's "State of Independence," Carrie still has some major challenges after she returns home from Beirut. Meanwhile, Brody is assigned a desperate mission from Nazir.
666 Park Avenue
In "The Dead Don't Stay Dead" Gavin begins to groom Henry for a possible career change. Meanwhile, a journalist discovers that whatever she writes becomes the truth and Olivia shares a painful secret with Jane about her daughter.
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON SUNDAY?