What to watch on Friday, December 7…
8pm, The CW
Ladies, could your man smell like an arms dealer who traffics in “weapons-jamming devices,” whatever the hell those are? He could if he tunes in and learns from tonight’s episode, “Double Cross,” guest-starring Isaiah “Old Spice Guy” Mustafa as said arms dealer.
Who observes the Observers? In “The Human Kind,” that would be Peter, determined to take down the whole bald lot of ‘em. Meanwhile, Olivia meets a woman named Simone (guest-star Jill Scott) who has “oracle-like” powers. I’m going to assume that means she can see the future and not that she can manage an entire CRM database in her head.
9pm, Disney Channel
Phineas and Ferb
If you were waiting for a former NHL All-Star to make a guest appearance before checking out this endearingly zany show, tonight is your night as Luc Robitaille drops by in “For Your Ice Only.”
Don’t you hate it when you wake up from a refreshing cat-nap only to find that your entire town is either vanished or unconscious, except for one cryptic dude? That’s what happens to Audrey in “Last Goodbye.” I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical and spooky explanation for everything.
– Leslie Mann, Jim Rome, and Garbage on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Dustin Hoffman and One Direction on Late Night with David Letterman, 11:35 am, CBS
– Elijah Wood, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Big Boi on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Julie Delpy, Lamorne Morris, and Richie Sambora on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON FRIDAY?
What to watch on Saturday, December 8…
Frosty the Snowman / Frosty Returns
The 1969 animated classic gets its annual holiday airing at 8pm, followed at 8:30pm by the 1995 sequel which sees John Goodman stepping into Jimmy Durante’s corncob pipe and button nose. In another few years we’ll be due for a third entry in the franchise starring Al Gore as the jolly, happy soul, thumpetty-thump-thump-thumping impassioned warnings about climate change into your head.
The American Giving Awards
I have never heard of these awards and neither have you, but this ceremony is hosted by Joel McHale, in case you want to flip over to NBC tonight and pretend like you have Community back in your life for a couple of fleeting, glorious hours.
Saturday Night Live
Jamie Foxx hosts; Ne-Yo performs.
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON SATURDAY?
What to watch on What to watch on Sunday, December 9…
SEASON 21 FINALE, 8pm, CBS
The Amazing Race
The season crosses the finish line (get it, because the show is about a— never mind) in “Take Down That Million,” the two-hour finale. To claim the $1 million purse, the final four teams must race through France, skip across the Atlantic, and then overcome a “Houdini-inspired” obstacle in New York. So if you’ve been wondering why there’s a humongous milk can in the middle of 5th Avenue, there’s your answer.
Portlandia comes to Springfield in “The Day The Earth Stood Cool,” as Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein play new neighbors transplanted from the trendy Oregon burg. Also in tow: Patton Oswalt as their hellion son T-Rex, who terrorizes Marge and Bart and who probably does not bust out a ripping version of “Get It On.”
May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be righteously drenched in the blood of the man who murdered your mother and warped you into a homicidal monster. That’s the gist of “Do You See What I See?” It’s A Very Dexter Christmastime, everyone!
As Carrie continues to track Abu Nazir, Saul faces an unexpected threat inside the Agency in “The Motherf**ker With A Turban.” Also, since the Brody clan is two-for-four at killing people so far this season, everyone at Chris’s karate class had best watch their backs this week.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, History Channel
History’s newest reality series kicks off tonight, and it’s about... wait, what? Um, okay. It’s about a group of construction workers who journey from their native Alabama to—SERIOUSLY, promo blurb? No, it’s cool, I can get through this—to “the dark heart of South America,” otherwise known as Guyana. There, they’ll seek their fortunes as gold miners, in the spirit of untold scores of adventurers who sought the riches of El Dorado. Or the spirit of Ron Paul. Either way.
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON SUNDAY?